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March 31, 2008
Mandi
I took 3 minutes to step into the bathroom
5 minutes to prepare
5 minutes to set up the place, taking the shower foam etc etc
3 minutes to get the shower thingy out of it place
5 minutes showering
but at least I managed to do it myself. altho I hit my right leg a lil bit but it's ok, at least I showered on my own :)
anyway thanks to Taq and Dayah for the hair treatment. ohhh saya terasa seperti cerita pondok buruk *tune into the sad song*
kaki saya sakit lagi. berdiri salah duduk salah baring pun salah..
saya cuba...saya berusaha untuk berusaha.
tapi terimakasih lah itu untuk itu. ceria sikit hari saya (walaupun dah agak lambat) :)
March 30, 2008
Tekanan perasaan
It's so hard to do everything......everything including covering up my feet with duvet.
I want to shower. I want to move around. But all I can do is lying still on the bed.
I feel so hopeless and useless. Last night I went to sleep with the hope that today's gonna be better than yesterday.
Than when I think of how disorganized my things are in my apartment...erghhh..I've got my laundry to be done. My bed to be tidied up....everything was put on hold because of the games but now I can't do anything................................................
Now I feel like jumping off 80 storeys building. Biar senang everything takyah susahkan orang!
Wa.... Rabbi Yassir wa la tu'assir...
Cork Games disaster
The game went on. And we lost the first game. The day got worst. Light storm it was. It had to be stopped several times. Until our second match against the Galway girls..
We played as usual. I took my GS position. The enthusiasm has reduced to 50% already but we played the game for the sake of err...playing the game. Until something happened..
A collision happened between me and one other girl. I fell down and I knew my knee was twisted coz it hurts like hell. So I laid down on earth and kept on shouting "sakettttt...lutut saye sakettttt"
They thought it was a normal cramp. Not until they seen my retarded twisted knee cap. My patella was dislocated laterally. At that time I was so nervous thinking how are they going to handle this extra heavyweight me to the side....so I kept on ranting and ranting...*sigh* One of my nitemare materialised.
They convinced me to let them lift me. I tried to walk. But it hurts like $£^$(@ so I gave up. They lifted me up out from the court and I tried to stand by myself but failed and I passed out a little while while waiting for the AMBULANCE to come. My 1st ride by ambulance. 15-20 mis later the paramedics came. Asked me what happened and stuff. Lifted me to the ambulance. Took my blood pressure. IV dripped me with morphine. 3 doses of them if I'm not mistaken since I kept on rating the painfulness scale 8 and 7. Hehehehh..They were so nice. Paul and Jen. My hands were so cold that they took sometime before they put on morphine on me. My blood pressure also was so low at that time.
I reached CUH later. Nida accompanied me. I was put on the "laughing gas" that made me felt more lightheaded. I was brought to Accident & Emergency department. It was kinda crowded that time but luckily I didn't have to wait long until I was treated. The doctor sedated me so I didn't realize how and when did they relocated my patella. Nida said the doctor even had to think and pause a while when he was relocating my patella. All I knew after I open my eyes again was I was all wrapped with this black thingy and the pain didn't go away either.
I was put on NaCl and oxygen so I had to wait for sometime before I was released. Called my mom but guess she didn't get the real idea but she did sounded worry by the way. Approx at 4.15pm I was released from A&E and Mr Muizz was already waiting for me outside. I had to rely on the walking stick!!!!!!! I am partially handicapped and it was so hard to walk on the walking stick!!!!!!!!!!
When I fell all I think was how are they going to lift me up. No other worrisome problem. But now that I've to lay still on the bed and rely on the walking stick. It is so hard even to go to pee and I seriously felt like breaking down. Man..it's so hard...and painful too :(
My next appointment with the orthopaedic is on Wednesday and I'm gonna leave Cork on Thursday. Hope things will get better somewhere in between...I'm gonna be staying in senior's house since I'm not fit enuff to walk up the stairs in my apartment..
Thanks Paul & Jen for the kindness. Thanks Nida for accompanying me and gathering up my things. Thanks Muizz for the ride. Thanks Dayah for giving up ur room. Thanks everyone for the concern... :)
COBAAN...~
March 29, 2008
Tok Bik
(not quite sure with the exact details tho. My cousin sent and SMS to me to inform about this)
March 28, 2008
Biyatch
Today I would declare the stinki-est day in my life. Bangun. Netball. Tertido. Gi town amik the Manchester girls. Hehehe...but not until just now. I've took a longggggg shower to wash away all the worriness and stress. Walaupun masuk bilik stress itu wujud kembali, at least I manage to reduce the snowballing stress kan. Nanti tak pasal-pasal mahu perang dunia kesembilan berlaku.
And ever heard that u'll suffocate if u turn on the heater and shut off the window? What's the point of using heater if u still let the freezing breeze inside?
You tell people u're all stressed up with your studies, family and lover. And you justify your kecurangan on the basis of I-am-stress-I-need-ppl-to-take-care-of-me. What the fish, people, what the hell?? Cisss, pantang sungguh saya melihat perkara begini berleluasa. KeCurangan. Hypocrisy.
But at the end of the day, other people are enjoying their life and I will be left alone, full of anger. So it's better to suck up everything and pretend like u're the heartless and eyeless thing who doesn't give a damn on how ppl ruin/run their life. Unless if u step up into my privacy la of course kan. I guess this is the lesson learnt from my past. Cursing and Ignoring ppl like a total stranger. Thanks to the 2 people of my past who taught me this invaluable lesson of life.
2 months, Nadz. There're just 2 months to go :)
Sing along with me : "everything's gonna be allrighttttttt~"
March 27, 2008
Penat
Slept at Cauliklaffter yesterday (2nd year's house) coz I have Cork Games' meeting last night. Best gak sekali-sekala jalan-jalan keluar. The atmosphere was so stressful. Shit happens everywhere, we just gotta live with it. But Thanks to Dr.Shidi for the food last night gendang gendut tali kecapi kenyang perut suke hati =)
And now my middle finger is aching. Tersalah tap bola and tersepak gigi Kak Seh. Like so apekah kan?? hahaha...
Cepatlah next week. I just want this week to be over ASAP!
March 26, 2008
Netball training
Gambar tarak la plak..I'm still using Wany's laptop..My MacBabe is with someone else..
Went to netball training. Me and my usual GET FREE problem. I know I always go behind my opponent regardless when I'm defending or attacking. Been having this problem since ages. I think I am not meant for netball kot. Rimas taawwwww ade orang jaga-jaga neh rase nak pukul je. But that's the gist of netball pon I guess. It's a one-to-one game. That's why I prefer futsal. We focus on the ball not the people/position. Waaa...I miss futsal so muchossss!!!! But my shooting skill is drowning in the drain jua. Hahaha..we played using the basketball's ring, big and got the thingy behind bleh la masuk je smua. I wonder how will it be if I were to play on the real net.
And with all the mess organizing the game. I pity Dayahs and Pe'e. I bet they must be getting stressed out with this thing. Not included those minor minor things came up in between. You know in this kind of situation I think we should focus on the game itself instead of..errmm...other things. Eh apapejelah...moga dipermudahkanlah Ya Allah...
March 25, 2008
Not productive
March 24, 2008
Temporalis & Masseter
3rd day of holiday, and my #500 posts. Huhu..:)
Woke up a wee late today. 9.15 am. Rolled over on the bed. YM-ing. And called my MPH colleagues. I thank the technology of VoIP (Voice over internet protocol) and VoIPCheap.com for enabling me to contact Malaysia for free of charge. Chatted with Kak Sue and Shah. Told 'em I'm coming back this June for 3 months and Kak Sue asked whether I wanted to work there. LOL. As much as I need money, I appreciate my precious holiday more :)
Then at 11am I went to gym. I started a bit slow today. Had to pause several times but managed to go 44 minutes with the Fit Stride, 20 minutes with the bicycle and 10 minutes rowing. Almost the same course I did yesterday but lesser calori burnt since I went a bit slow.
Went back home. Rested a bit. Cooked stir fry vege and chicken. Showered and had my lunch at 3. I think my muscles are a bit stressed with the sudden intensity I put on them. Even when I was munching on food, my temporalis muscle was aching. Hope they won't go on strike if they are overworked.
Don't think I'm going to gym later in the evening. Had my lunch late. Need to digest them properly and by the time they are at the last stage of digestion, Mardyke is closing already.
I tell u what....now that I'm on vista, I realized how cool Mac is.
I don't know why but I felt extra cuak tonite. Just got back home. Kamil & Fendi are sleeping at senior's house. Knowing that they are not around in Castlewhite sent shivers down my spine as now it's down to only me & Shidot in this place...
hwaaaaa..............does anyone care to be my company?!?!?!?
by the way during tonite's Mafia I died because of Pe'e. Hahahaha...I was ditched coz I was the selfish doctor who healed herself for twice. Now who wouldn't??? Hahaha..watch out la next time I'm gonna get u back!
And wii is kinda cool. I bet you'll lose some weight or build up biceps by just playing those. I sucked big time at the 100m but I scored the bowling okay!
Well....tomorrow's plan....let's see. Go to gym in the morning. Then arrange my holiday and study plan a bit. Then go to gym again in the evening. (which I doubt...but i'll try) Then dinner at Alia's place....haih...*bermakna gler*
P/S : I dedicate this song to the one. =)
berGYMba
First off I did this. It's called Fit Stride. Michelle kinda recommended this to me coz she said this thing is more likely to be more effective. I tried it and like it so much that I abandoned the threadmill. Plus, this thing is not so demotivating, unlike threadmill. Managed to push myself to go 45 minutes with this. Burnt 449 kCal. Nearly the same as the calorific value of one plate of nasi lemak...so TICK! Nasi lemak's done. heh..
Then while I'm stabilizing my heart rate and resting I cycled. Did it 20 minutes only and burnt 116 kCal. Errr..nearly the same as ayam goreng I had last nite so...ayam goreng DONE!
Then at last I wanted to try rowing. Cam best jee....So I did this 10 minutes. Usually at female's gym I'll start with weight training but since they are closed, I had to go to the Cardio gym and I'm too shy to go downstairs to do the weight training coz too many men la..hehe..so guess rowing would be a fine replacement. Did this 10 minutes only. I hope I could burn the fried rice I had last nite at Nida's place but I don't think I've burn 600kCal to zap off the fried rice..
Did I push myself too hard? Yes, I did. Well I can handle it, Alhamdulillah. Still fit enough to walk back and walk to and fro from my apartment to Wany's to take things. *sigh* But then soon after I reached home I ate and apple and 2 slices of toasts. *double triple sigh* Now where have all the burnt calories gone......
March 23, 2008
bofren
Oh last nite we played Mafia & cards at Kamil's house. The 2nd years came over. Those are the "leftovers" Now that Nida's gone to Dublin, I was left with the boys, Kamil, Shidot & Fendi. Waaa....rase loser skettt..I didn't go to Dublin since I wanna save up some euros for something coming up this May..heee...am not gonna tell u till it's confirmed~
This morning right after I woke up I called my mom. I don't know how suddenly our conversation reach to the boyfriend conversation. Mom asked me to find a boyfriend. hahaha...oh mother...do u think it's THAT easy. With this kind of person like me do u think it's easy to get one?? So I said to her to find one for me. Hahaha...a rich one would do me good. We had laugh and I told my mom jangan maen-maen.....Corkians are so famous with this marriage thing. Champion of the champions I would say...hehehehe..
I'm so bored today. And it's not even half of the day. Maybe I have to start arranging my study schedule (as if...) I hope I'm rajen enough to hit the gym later. This is the problem...once u lose your momentum, everything is gone. But I have to get fit again. My stamina is drowning into the drain. I have Cork Games coming up in 6 days.
Ohh...My life is all in mess right now. Need to put things back on the place..let's start with a good shower, I guess ;P ?
p/s : expect A LOT of post from me. I'm bored and I had only laptop to entertain me :D
Blarney Castle
But the day started with such a bad tragedy. I slept at Wany's apartment and went back to my room to change and I found A GUY IN MY ROOM. Now I'm not the one who made her promise but SHE PROMISED ME SHE WON'T BE BRINGING ANY GUY INTO THE ROOM. And she broke it. And I pissed off. Now tell me where should I get my privacy? Do I not wear my tudung only when I'm bathing?
Moving on... I won't let the tragedy put off my mood today. Woke up in the morning. Help Wany with some stuff. Pity her something bad happened and she missed her flight to Brussels. So they went to Amsterdam instead. Packed up the rice and went to Nida's house.
Went to Blarney castle, one of the attraction in county Munster. It was built 600 years agoby one of Ireland's greatest chieftain, Cormac MacCarthy.
The journey to the top was nervewracking. The steps are so narrow that it fitted only one feet. And it was steep too. Plus it was so windy despite the sunlight. And we had to rely on the STEEL handle to get up there. So can you imagine how freakin cold it was holding onto a steel handle??? Kebas-kebas tangan!
Up on the top of the tower was the legendary Stone of Eloquence. Kiss it and you'll never again be lost for words. A must-go place for debaters and bloggers neh! ehehhehe...And I kissed it! How? Wait until the last photo..
By the garden's area. Very palace-like castle. Stylo!
The tower and the watch tower.
And this is it the moment when I was kissing the stone of Eloquence...
Me : OMG. Will I get killed kissing on the stone?
Pakcik-pegang-orang : No love, how would you get killed
*shades saya JATUH coz I hung it on my sweater*
Me : Oh my shades! Where is it where is it???
Pakcik-pegang-orang : It just went 100 metres down to the ground. Now do u see the lady there *pointing to one lady who picked up my shades and put it on the rock*
Me : Oh yes..
Pakcik-pegang-orang : Now that is where he put your shades. Now go down and get them now..
All in all it was such a great breakaway. Even only for few hours, I feel relieved :) I might be going to Dublin tomorrow. Staying here will only drive me crazy. And I don't want to lose my sanity earlier than expected. Heeeee....
March 22, 2008
No Air...No Air..
Easter holiday starts todayyyyyyy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Yesterday after Wany's FM1003 paper we went out to town. My anatomy test? Don't ask. The written test was such a torturing paper. The flag test was quite okay. Hope that'll pull my marks up.
Went to town but very indecisive. Wanted to watch 10000 BC but canceled after some considerations. Then went to Dunnes & Tesco to buy groceries. Met Nida & Aliyah and then went to dine in at Istanbul with Yasmin...
Planned to make soto. We've bought the ingredients but since we were still full with the kebabs so decided to rest first. Watched this one hell of a funny drama - SINDARELA. Hahaha...seriously I think I appreciate more of those drama when I'm here compared to Malaysia. The story was unique. Must be one hell of creative scriptwriter. Raja Inderapura panggil anak mangkuk smua...hahhaha..mentibang smua kuar..
And of utmost important.........my *hawt*hawt* bebeh...
The story was ridiculous, yes I admit. And I was kinda tortured throughout the way too. But I find this story rather interesting so had to put on forward on certain stupid part..Ade mak tiri suka karaoke. And the main actress duduk kat setinggan but she owns a MacBook, digicam and a scooter. Cool heh? hahaha...wtffff...But of course, kalau boleh part tengku haidar nak put on slow motion pun takpe..heee....
So we ended up with no soto that nite. But early that morning Kamil called and asked us to make extra nasi lemak since he was ambushed by the Dublin guys. Banang, Kudin, Azrul, Aizat, Pesol arrived at Cork all the way from Belfast on their road trip. Wany and I made nasi lemak with ayam rempah. After hearing the names.....we decided to cook the whole 2 kg of rice..hehehe...and came up with 5 pots of rice okay!?!?!? Hahahaha...Even used the normal pan to cook the rice..
The nasi lemak tasted okay okay aje...And there were leftovers pun...But planned to bring them to picnic tomorrow. Yes, I might be going to picnic with Nida and Min...heheheheh...
But now I'm all alone :( Wany's off to Brussels and the rest went on with their own holiday trip.The left ones are me, Nida, Kamil, Shidot and Fendi. And Nida is off to Dublin this Sunday. Tinggal lah saye bersama jejaka2 itu. They'll be going out from Cork on the same day as mine too..
March 20, 2008
Announcement
March 19, 2008
Annoyance at peak
One of my bad habit in studying includes getting annoyed pretty easily with any kind of noise. Especially made from unpleasant sources. That made me even more distracted. It would be a pleasure if I managed to kill the source and keep it shut forever.
In mid of SPM week years ago, I remembered isolating myself from the others. I'll go to the empty classes or empty dorms. Thank God at that time only the fifth formers left in the school so I have plenty of spaces to mess with.
I also need a big big space for studying coz I need to put all my books on the table. And my current study space? Defo not enough to occupy my needs but I think I just gotta live with it. Back in MCB the study table aren't big tho but I managed to turn my bed into studying space with less probability of falling asleep on it.
However, when I'm on the peak of angst, I'll turn on loud music onto my ears. That also applies to any kind of stressful condition or if I just don't feel like talking to other ppl. That's how I channel my anger. The louder the better that I think my eardrum will lose its compliancy at faster rate. So if u see me around with my iPod on, stay away ppl, u might be the next ppl I want to kill =P
Yes, I definitely am freaking out. The fact that my first Anatomy continuous assessment was a big slack made me half mad these days. The second one would be totally in different league than the first. We have flag test for the first part and short answer + MCQ for the second. Flag test is a test on the cadaver where they basically labeled the nerves, muscles, and blood vessels on them to be recognized.
Mari mari kembali pelajari Anatomy.....
March 18, 2008
Arosa oh Arosa..
Before we went, I called the landlord. I did ask her about us moving in during late of May since we are still bounded to the current contract and the sponsors are still paying for our current apartment. She said "YES" and I was so happy.....but not so long until we actually met and she said "NO". Guess it was a miscommunication or just plain misunderstanding T_T
By the way the house is superb. There are 6 bedrooms and yet there is still a living room. The kitchen is quite spacey and the backyard was awesome. Before the bad news were broken we even imagined ourselves getting the house and started to choose which bedroom we wanted to..
Alas, that was all left in our imagination. Goodbye our dream house. Hope nobody wants you so u'll finally be ours! Muahahahhahaha...in ur dream la!
Had I have some €€€€€€ I would just go for this house...this house is close to perfect! Guess it's just not our rezeki..
Why am I all-geared to find the house? I dunno. Maybe the current situation has just made me wanna leave this place ASAP so I'll no longer need to confront any unpleasant face(s). This is just so torturing. Knowing that u have to breathe the same oxygen with the ppl u don't really want to, it just make me wanna puke to death.....
O our Lord, make easy, and do not make difficult :)
OMG It's been 6 months......sudah ENAM bulan since I left Malaysia. And there's about 2 and half months till we meet again. Waaaaaa.....homesickkkkkkk =(
Cepatla April...............saya mahu jumpe mak sayeeeeee...... *humming to Fazley's Bila April* eee...gile lame!!!
March 17, 2008
Apa Itu Kekasih Gelap?
Meskipun tiada satu orang pun yang tau
Kumencintaimu sedalam-dalam hatiku
Meskipun engkau hanya kekasih gelapku
Ku tahu ku takkan selalu ada untukmu
Disaat engkau merindukan diriku
Kutahu ku takkan bisa memberikanmu
Waktu yang panjang dalam hidupku
Yakinlah bahwa engkau adalah cintaku
Yang kucari s’lama ini dalam hidupku
Dan hanya padamu kuberikan sisa cintaku
Yang panjang dalam hidupku
Kumencintaimu sedalam-dalam hatiku
Meskipun engkau hanya kekasih gelapku
Mencintaimu lebih dari apapun
Meskipun tiada satu orang pun yang tau
Kumencintaimu sedalam-dalam hatiku
Meskipun engkau hanya kekasih gelapku
Kekasih gelapku…
Semalam kekasih gelap saya call pukul 1.47am. Like...what the fish? My maxis phone rang (si putih) to its maximum volume, purposedly tuned for its alarm function but little that I know it'll be disturbing my sweet sleep.
And I put it off. As much as I wanted to talk, I think I need my sleep more. As much as we haven't talked since ages, I love my good night sleep more. heee....
A friend has once asked me what is kekasih gelap? I told him to go figure himself. Refer to the above lyric and make ur own judgement. I've even highlighted some points to ponder..Here I list down some options for u :
- kekasih berkulit gelap. mungkin dari Botswana?
- lelaki/perempuan simpanan
- org yg hanya dihubungi ketika gelap (e.g pukul 1.47am)
- org yg rase nak call, call la...tanak call..tanak laa
- ...
- ......
- ........
Ahh....this anatomy test is seriously eating me inside out!!!
p/s : megi goreng saye skett lagi bleh same ngan mamak ABC. Wa caya sama lu!!
Just an another update
I'd like to give myself a pat on the back for finishing the 19 lengthy anatomy subtopics in 2 days but I'd also like to give myself a big smack too for going to sleep right away after I finished the last topic and lost the momentum. And now I've been stuck on the net for few hours already *sigh*
As for my favourite quote of the day...what's for dinner...what's for dinner. Been waiting for "the" nasi beriyani haha but it was to no avail. No sweat la wa tau smuorang tgh stressed up with the exams. =P And been offered to join-order Indian Moon - our one and only "favourite" take away source. Haha...would love to. But I am kinda in broken state so..orang miskin buat aa care orang miskin kan... *sobs* If my mom know she wouldn't mind me spending money on food coz I know she wouldn't let me go starving. No wonder la anak dier membesar dgn sehat bagaikan juara kan X_X
No fancy pictures today. I didn't go out from my house at all. Except when I walked few steps upstairs to Wany's place. Embraced myself to stay in the hellish place. Tidied up my place...and wallaa...suitable for study :)
Ahh...better disengage myself from this addictive net. Need to get going for my second round of anatomy. Orang sedikit bebal sperti saya pastilah terpakse baca berulang-ulang. Ape mau masak ini malam? Makan megi goreng dah aa....
rindunye Mamak ABC!!!!
March 16, 2008
My geeky weekend
Why I choose to walk more to Brookfield instead of the Boole library? Simply because it is small and nice and cozy. Plus u get to access the net nearby if u are tired and there are also prayer room in that building. Everything is perfect =)
View from the prayer room. Yeap it's situated on top of the roof. Spring is coming but why doesn't the coldness go away??? Huermphh...
My anatomy books. *seeeeeeeserabut*
Even the flowers are confused too. Should they bloom or they should not? Is it winter or spring?
Brookfield Health Science Complex where I have most of my classes here..it's situated a lil bit isolated from UCC Main Campus. But not that far tho'. 10 minutes walk from my place.
Oh by the way, out of boredom and tenseness, me and my chaotic friend Wany decided to make a banana choc cake..
I can guarantee u the process of baking this cake is CLEAN and SAFE. Muahahahhahahahhaha..
Mari menghias kek
*lame gler*
Close up. It reads : "Selamat Pereksa" credit to Mihah for the writings. Kalau cikgu BM ko nampak mesti dia nangis kan tgk ko eja gitu mihah?? Muahahhaha....
Notice changes to my post recently? Yeap. More real pictures. Since I got new toy, better use it to the fullest. 5 megapixel maaa.... =D
p/s : cissss..ingatkan siap2 smbur perfume smua nak gi clubbing. rupenye nak bermesra-mesra diliving room....shhhhhoooooooooooottttttttttttt I want my freeeedddddooooOoooommmmmmmmmmmmmmm
March 15, 2008
The haunted room
What do you feel, after such a long and tiring day, u walk into your house with the hope to have a good rest but instead found out that your kitchen is in a big mess and knowing that only u and only u alone left to handle it?
Let's have a close-up. Tons of plates, glasses, cups.
*eeeeee...bengangs*
This is the living room area. Lying low on the floor is Mr Roger Moore. A naked man who always there along with any of their birthday celebrations. Yeap, I mean really naked with all those unnecessary protruding stuff and lots of chess hair. Sometimes they give him some clothes but most of the times he is as what he is. The partial poster is a poster of Audrey Hepburn. The balloons are for one of my external housemate's 18th birthday celebration. 18. Patut aa perangai cam kekanak lagi. But if u see the alcohol intake and cigarettes they have, u won't really believe they are only 18y-old girls. Oh ya, the partially captured sofa is also called as the sex couch. Go figure urself why it is called so...
This is why I loathe upon going to the kitchen during weekdays. This is their major room. Watch tv all the day and eat and drink on the way. Everything within 2-3 footsteps. Easily reached easily done.
This room used to be very peaceful during weekend. I used to study on the table coz I really need a bigger space for my books. But recently it has also turned out to be a bilik kelamin for some people too. Bahagiaaaaaa hidup 'suami isteri' bagai itu rumah mereka yang empunya....
That's why I spent the whole weekend studying in Brookfield. Haihh.....can't wait to go out from this place...
Oh by the way today we made an appointment with a lady landlord (or should it be landlady??). Hopefully everything will go well....
I don't usually be this bitchy. But yeah, I reached my boiling temperature and I just need to explode.