December 27, 2012


It's the possibility of having a dream come true that makes life interesting.. - Paulo Coelho in The Alchemist.

Will mine ever come true?

Motivation is slowly going down the drain. The further I am from my motivation, the weaker I get. I need to build strength in this place full of sick strange darkness.

Strength. It takes discipline and bravery and persistence.
Sent from my BlackBerry® wireless device.

December 21, 2012


Motivation is what pushes you forward when everything else is pulling you back.

Back at home for a long weekend. Back on the threadmill after a few weeks on hiatus. Endorphine boosted, head gets clearer.

It starts with the intention to look good. But now I'm shifting focus to live healthier and slowly gain my confidence that has been long gone.

Bismillah.. Moga dipermudahkan :)
Sent from my BlackBerry® wireless device.

December 15, 2012

The conflict...The plateau phase


Finally managed to steal time to update on my weight loss journey. Too occupied with my working life and adjusting to the new place...and it also starts to affect my battle..

Working life is a my biggest challenge currently. Why?

1. I have no time to work out. Back home I have threadmill in my house so I can just use it whenever I wish too.

2. Managing your diet at workplace is very very challenging. They sneak in food whenever possible. It's hard to resist especially when you are just finished doing some difficult procedure, when you are tired etc.

3. I get tired easily. And I get hungry easily. It's hard to control the amount of food I eat especially during dinner time. The past few weeks since I started working I have been dining out mostly. Nafsu makan susah nak control bila baru balik dari kerja kepenatan -__-

4. I don't have mak's cooking to support my diet. Back then mak used to cook only steamed food. All healthy. All low calories. But now I had to resort to restaurant's food. Oily. Unhealthy.

5. I am under great stress because of this new life. So far from home and my dear friends. So many new things to adapt. Certain people at work annoys me like hell. So lonely at times :( 

As a result, my weight has hit a plateau phase. 3 months since I started, I lost about 13kg on the first 2 months and as of now it has only been reduced by 2kg...

Upper right, upper left, lower right all are mak's baju. Lower left is a picture of mak (most right) with wearing the baju that I borrowed to Ida's wedding. Too bad I don't have a picture as I was too busy entertaining Nayli that day..

But I'm going to look at the positive side. Because putting too much stress on yourself is a factor of gaining weight as well. At least I have lost 15kg since I started. I can fit in most of the clothes I used to wear before I went abroad. And the biggest success is to fit in to my mak's baju kurung again. So handy as mak has a lot of nice bajus that I can just grab to go for weddings etc..

So I need a to come out with a plan. Really really don't want to jinx it by writing it now, before I even do it.... But I'm just going to put it here to serve as a reminder to myself as well.

1. Register in a gym and start to work my arse off. I went to a JomFit session organized by Kevin Zahri and realized that dance exercises are really exciting! Made my research and found a gym that offers a wide range of dance classes with superb facilities. Terpaksa korbankan impian nak beli handbag and fon baru dulu nak kasi ruang pada kegemukan ini..gagaga..

2. Bring water to work. Like loads of water. And try to figure out some healthy less calorie snack that I can munch during working. And try to say NO THANKS to all those goreng pisang apam balik kek pisang ABC Kampung Melayu Maruku Nasi lemak that they offer at work -___-

3. Try my best to cook for dinner. I cooked for dinner since the past 3 days. It's pretty simple but at least I know the ingredient I put in. The oil the salt etc..

4. Maintain my mood. Try not to surrender to stress too much. Try to think of happy things. Rethink of my motivations :)

What I can conclude from my unfinished journey so far losing weight is a battle of emotions, physical and mental strength. You have to be discipline. You have to be realistic. You cannot be under great stress. And not every diet plan works on everyone so you have to keep on finding one that suits you.

Ya Allah, bantulah hambamu ini..


Sometimes you get so attached to certain something that your life becomes so empty without 'em.

Sometimes it happens so naturally you didn't even realize you are attached until you feel part of you is missing.

Sometimes you wish you have a control over how you feel so any unwanted ones can be deleted before it jeopardizes yourself.

Sometimes, sometimes.
Sent from my BlackBerry® wireless device.

December 11, 2012

Amazing :)

Picture not quite related. LOL

It's amazing how a simple gesture could lighten up your day and lift your mood.

Thank you, you. You are indeed amazing. If and only if it's not that complicated. But all these memories I'm going to keep it in my heart forever and ever. :)

Sent from my BlackBerry® wireless device.

December 10, 2012

Awesome weekend

Belanja family 1st gaji - checked!

Pergi Jom Fit dengan Kevin Zahri - checked!

Watched semifinal at Bukit Jalil - checked!

Thank you, thank you. Ye know who ye are.
Sent from my BlackBerry® wireless device.