May 31, 2015

The journey

The journey thousands miles away from home brought me to these familiar places that I used to call home three years ago. It feels really good to be back.

One of the main reasons to be back is to visit my lecturer - Dr B. He was my tutor in our final year group. The first 3 years of our studies he appeared very cold and strict when in fact he is such a nice and caring old man.

On my final year I stretched out a bit of the norm and tried to enjoy Ireland as much as I could. I went to a rugby match and a hurling match..and somehow that kinda amaze him. So my stories was told to the dean, to the President of my university as well as the next batches. I set up quite a benchmark for my fellow non-Irish mates to follow suit :P

I tried to keep in touch with him as much as I could after I qualified. With him I could tell everything. My concerns. My worries. My hopes. My dreams. On my concerns and worries he comforted me. Being lonely isn't a bad thing. Being single isn't the end of the world. On my hopes and dreams he told me to go with the flow and it's okay to be clueless at the moment.

This journey so far has been on point on the aims. Distractions. Comfort. And the fact that there are still people that appreciates me. Gathering strength.

It will be quite another journey to recollect myself and stand up again. May He eases my way..

May 30, 2015

I dreamed a dream last night

That you hugged me close and held my hand tight

And I woke up with tears

Who knows we could only say goodbye in a dream

May 24, 2015

Makes me feel better..

I really shouldn't write anything anymore about the trip until I have finally departed.

But today I just wanna say talking to you has made things better. Things got really fucked up and I was really tired all I want is just to lay down and cry.

Talking to you has been a therapy. Talking craps and bullshits but it gives me a little dose of happy-pill.

I really miss you. Things are gonna be different but I hope the memory we built last long enough for me :(

May 22, 2015

The feeling's overwhelming it's much too strong..

Received a good news yesterday and things are looking okay so far. Alhamdulillah wa syukurillah. Thank you Allah. I can finally go at peace.

Banyak hikmah daripada peristiwa ni. Dapat pergi bestfriend's engagement. Naik direct flight. No worries in getting lost at land of strangers. All good now, all good.

Preparation mood got majorly distracted by the tragedy. No mood to pack now I will just bring some essentials. Tapi  sempat la shopping sikit kah kah memang dasar!

Tapi partly mood disturbed by something else too. Sigh.

I will leave you all with this song that best described my feeling right now

May 20, 2015

Kita hanya mampu merancang

Yesterday I was really challenged by the fact that kita hanya mampu merancang...

I had all my budget planned, itinerary done, all left is checking in and fly but who knows what obstacles awaiting in front of me ready to give me a big fat slap.

Terjelepuk kejap terkedu terkesima.

Too tired to give a fuck, I just went on and make another arrangement and all are looking ok. So far. InsyaAllah. May Allah ease. Mungkin aku tak doa dipermudahkan kot perjalanan ni. Sigh..

Whatever it is, I hope to not be where I don't want to be at that day. Let me be thousand miles away.

Budget burst. Itinerary altered. But I believe, He has his own plans. There must be a silver lining behind this dark cloud.

May 12, 2015

If I give up being a healthcare professional, I would be a....

..a chef! 

Until I was 20, I knew a very little about cooking except for maggi and goreng telur sos. I left Malaysia with very basic knowledge of making food. I only brought 3 recipes in my head - ayam kicap versi makpah, sambal and ayam kari. And mind you they were only in my head I never actually cooked them.

And then I was sent to land of no home country food and the only way to survive is to cook your own. Adelah kedai halal satu dua but how long can you survive on kebabs tacos and burgers. Plus they were very cost inefficient too considering we were only depending on our monthly allowance..

Thanks to the internet and the free time I had on the first year, I had more chance to develop my cooking skill. I had my batchmates to be my guinea pigs and managed to cook a more advanced dishes like nasi kerabu with ayam percik, nasi lemak ayam berempah etc..

After I graduated I didn't cook as much as I did in Cork in Malaysia. Reason I was being too tired at my own cooking and..well...there are plethora of food here in Malaysia who needs to cook anyway. However this past few months I started to watch loads and loads of Food Network Channel series and re-developed my passion for cooking.. Tried a few recipes but still hadn't find the courage to feed a lot of people..

Whipped my own pesto sauce and incorporated it into 2 separate dishes - baked chicken pesto and pesto mayo. The mayo was a hit masuk bakul angkat sendiri kthanxbai

One day when things get, hmm, a bit lonely I might just give my current job a break, travel and learn to cook at different countries. The thing about learning to cook from different countries is they love their piggy and alcohols so gotta find a way to learn how to cook without incorporating those two ingredients..

On the other hand, I am pretty excited we are throwing out a party this weekend. Volunteered myself to prepare sambal goreng jawa and I never cooked them before this so this must be interesting. It's been a while since our last get together so I wanna make sure we all had fun :)

If I ever get decided to disconnect from my closed companies, I want to leave them with the best of memories so gotta give my best :3

May 08, 2015

Four days in a row

Kemain empat hari straight update blog. Dah macam zaman study dulu dah. Nampak sangat jiwa kacau disitu.

Tapi bukak-bukak taktau nak update ape pun

Neves sebnanya..hmm

Apa yang dineveskan aku pun tak tau camne nak cakap

Risau. Risau gila.

Gotta keep on praying for strength.

Keeping my mind distracted.

Traveling soon traveling soon traveling soon traveling soon

Think of happy thoughts

May 07, 2015

When the feeling comes

Once in a while a strong feeling of missing comes as if there's this part of my heart that has not been healed yet been touched. Don't get me wrong I remember him everyday in my prayer but this is a stronger pain.

If and only if you are still here, would you be proud of where I am right now?

If and only if you are still here, would you protect me from ... urm.. things.

Al Fatihah. Forever you shall be missed. I will see you later, insyaAllah

May 05, 2015

Where did my 4 days go?


Now now where did my 4 days holiday went?

Abang, Kakdiah and Nayli are back for a while to get their visa thingy sorted but lil miss Nayli was down with fever so she was warded. Pity her :(

Went to Penang on Friday. We left KL a bit late and was stucked in a ridiculously heavy traffic for 4.5 hours that brought us only 30km away from where the traffic jam started. The reason? Some stupid morons parked their busses and cars on the freaking highway. Can you actually believe that? Parked their fecking transports on a highway at the Ladang Bikam stop. I don't quite understand why must all the cars and busses choose to take a break at the particular stop that place wasn't even a proper RnR. And I wondered where were the authorities when this happened. They could easily shoo away this morons and make the traffic better kot. 

We left KL at 645pm. Arrived Behrang around 8pm and only managed to get pass Ladang Bikam around 1240am. After that I took over the wheel and sped up to Penang and managed to reach Bagan Ajam's Nasi Kandaq Ketapang around 215am. Stress punya pasal dok dalam jam bantai je bawak laju asal sampai. Hoh. 

Nothing much were done in Penang. Basically we were just chilling out with Bella. Went to karaoke for 3 hours singing our hearts out. Had the usual kapitan claypot nasi beriyani and again, we left Penang at around 1030pm the next day.

Stadium Negara - comfortable enough for us despite the free seating tix

Annnnnnd the best thing yet - The Backstreet Boys concert on Sunday. Freaking B.S.B. I am a big fan of BSB. I think I had all their albums up until Black and Blue in 2000. They were quiet for a few years and Kev left BSB in 2006 if I'm not mistaken. And now they are back. Older, maturer but not anyless sexier :3

I was so excited before the concert. Went with my usual concert partner in crime - Fuzah. The moment the boys (or should I say...uncles now LOL) came out my heart beats fast. Can't quite believe the day actually arrive where I can finally see them performing alive. The order of my fav BSB was AJ, Nick, B-rock, Kev and Howie D. But AJ and Nick could switch places easily because Nick is such a heartthrob during his younger days and AJ had such a voice that could melt your heart. Eh Nick is still a heartthrob and charming as ever and AJ's sexy voice could still sway my heart :3

That night Kev told us to be 15 again and I did exactly that. Was so happy when they performed As Long As You Love Me, All I Have To Give (Major love for this song woot woot), Quit Playing Games with My Heart, Show Me the Meaning Of Being Lonely and 10000 Promises. They were my all-time favourite. We've Got it Goin On was quite a nice surprise to me too. Was dancing at jumping to the beat. Tak tahan kaki ku bergoyang ke lagu. 

Still having some concert hangover. Best. Night. Ever!!

Them boys still got some moves! Nick and B-rock were the cheekiest last nite!

Suit that made them look uncleish

It was quite a nice 4 days break. I still got the BSB songs stuck on my head.

Well hello May. You are finally here :|