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December 31, 2014

Wrapping up 2014

2014 is a year full of turbulence. Sometimes it shoots you up sometimes it kicks you down right at your arse.


2014 banyak kita dapat peringatan dari Yang Maha Kuasa. Terlalu banyak. Semoga kita menginsafi setiap apa yang didatangkan pada kita.

I am grateful I get to travel at least once, to Krabi last April. It was a short and sweet escape despite losing my phone at the end of the trip T__T

I am grateful I get to run a few KMs fulfilling some of my wishes despite worsening my old knee injury and now there is some problem with the insurance I hope I can proceed with my surgery still >.<

I am grateful that I finally get to be back at my hometown. A road less traveled but I am going to find my way insyaAllah.

I am grateful that He gave me a company to bring me around here and there despite having a few brawls, I treasure the ups and will always muhasabah on the downs. Although, well, not for long now.


Nampak tak setiap ada ups, there's gonna be downs. Aku dah takde azam untuk 2015 aku just harap bila saat aku perlukan kekuatan, Dia akan pinjamkan. Bila saat aku ketakutan, Dia hadirkan keberanian. Pada saat aku keseorangan dan rasa kesunyian, well, Dia hilangkan rasa tu.


Still keeping the faith strong. Everything does not last. The good ones and the bad ones.



Welcome 2015. So dreadful to face you especially middle of next year but hey, I am gonna try to stay strong.


This too shall pass.



December 30, 2014

The background

Preparing to finally losing someone so close to me this coming 2015.

I did not realize how come you become so dominant in my life but it just happens but it is ending anyway.

Throughout this years, I have always been the background, never the center. And being the background, it is very easy to be shut off from some people's life.

Here I am again, again and again, making my way out. Bringing myself to live life again.

Perempuan hodoh pelengkap dunia. Kembali bersedia menjadi latar belakang kepada yang memerlukan. Moga satu hari nanti Tuhan hantar pelengkap kepada pelengkap dunia ini.


All the things that we accept, be the things that we regret :(

December 21, 2014

Selamanya Harimau Malaya....OI!

FINALLY!


Went to SNBJ to witness our very own football team playing against our neighbour up north. The last time I went to Stadium was TWO years ago. I really enjoyed going to stadium because the atmosphere is very lively and you get to scream your lungs out without being judged. Kinda stress relief escape for me. In 2012 I went for the semis against our neighbour down south. Right after the game finished I took a bus to go back to JB at 12am, reached JB around 4am, slept for about 2 hours and went to work the next morning. That's how crazy I am...


Lovely lively atmosophere! Especially hearing the never-stopping chants from our very own Ultras Malaya! Uttermost respect to them who kept the 90 something minutes game alive and even before and after the game.


It felt very different going to Stadium this time around. Went with different company. I used to go to stadium with someone else...not anymore now. But all was good. I was safe. My company ensured me safe. And that's all that matters ain't it?

We arrived SNBJ area around 530. Parked at the roadside somewhere before the BJ's traffic light. It rained a bit when we first came, bought an RM2.50 poncho which ended up being my alas solat. Lol. We found a spot with quite a good view. In front of our row was another row of our SMSS Junior. Sebesar-besar stadium boleh pulak jumpa dekat situ. Selamat kitorang half time takyah keluar beli air leh suruh junior je. LOL. I brought telekung with me and it got me through the safety police pretty easy ;) I had my Wudhu' before pushing off for SNBJ but lost it along the way despite me trying hard not to touch any men. Luckily there was plenty of toilets in the stadium..had my prayers done at some areas behind the stairs. Pretty happy with myself for that :)


The game. The chants. The goals. The fact that I got to scream and jump until I nearly lost my voice. It was all worth the fatigue  and hassle. Even though we did not get to win the trophy at our own stadium, the players fought well. Of course there are mistakes done here and there but they started the AFF Suzuki Game campaign with a very rough start and to reach the final - that was an achievement praiseworthy. But Safee...boy it's time for you to find your ways back into that position. It's either his era has ended or he just losing his grip..
Salam persahabatan dari kami. "Penonton makan kuaci" as labeled by the Ultras Malaya clan. 

December 17, 2014

December 11, 2014

Malam ini

Malam ini aku baring atas katil dan cuba bayangkan what will happen next year -

I imagined you in suits and her in whatever dresses on your wedding day. Time nikah maybe kau pakai baju melayu tp for some reason tatau kenapa bayangkan in one of your receptions maybe kau pakai like a tuxedo or ya know..not-so-traditional suits. Lepastu gambar merata-rata diupload kat facebook, macam biasa bila ada wedding.

Masa tu mungkin aku kat Venice. Atau tengah dekat Cork on the way nak ke London. Atau dalam keretapi nak ke France. Anywhere but in front of you.

Time tengah imagine ni dada makin berat dan sesak. Ok. Training dah untuk what may come next year. Invitations. Engagement. Wedding. Tau dah macamni rasa dia. Lantas aku masuk bilik air, gosok gigi, wudhu' dan Isya'.

Tau dah skill dia. For everytime I hope for one thing, I will kill it immediately with my imaginary wedding pictures. In my mind, time tu kau masih gemok dan tak sempat kurus seperti yang kau impikan, maaf.

-Wonderwoman-

December 07, 2014

Kumpul

Kumpul duit.

Kumpul cuti.

Kumpul kuat dalam diri.

Kita lari. Jauh.

#prayfornad

Bila dah keluar dari mulut orang tu sendiri...


#prayfornad

Hang in there dear self. You got this ok. You got this ok??

December 04, 2014

Hello December

Hey, I have been waiting for you since forever.

Can you please be nice to me? ;)

November 29, 2014

That Awkward Moment When....

.......
...........
................

Kakak : Yeke adik ni kerja doktor gigi, bagusnya..

*Looks to the right

Kakak : Untung awak dapat doktor..jaga baik-baik...

*krik krik

........
............
...................

*Looks to the right

Kakak : Jaga anak orang baik-baik, jalan baik-baik ye...

..........
................
.....................


Kau tahu perasaan berbunga yg blossom tapi kau kena henyak-henyak blossomed flower tu cepat-cepat lumat-lumat sebab kau tak layak rasa perasaan tu.

Dalam hati rasa nak jawab "Kakkkk ni KAWANNN je kak. Skandal pun dia kata bukan. Kekasih gelap pun bukan. Apatah lagi kekasih terang. Tapi tu lah kami ni memang rapat kawannnn ajeeeeeeeee. Dia ni ada gelpren tu haaaa tengah tunggu dia nak kawen tuuuu saya ni kawan ajeeeeeeeee"


November 25, 2014

Ticked :D

So I met my friend. As expected he went hard on me. Dia cakap I need to know what I want.


Aku diam. Aku pun tak tau ape aku nak. Tapi aku tau ape aku rasa...aku rasa sedih.. Tapi talking to him is a temporary relief sebab dia pun ada kisah lebih kurang. Tapi jalan cerita lain. And it looks like it's heading to a better ending for him, as for now lah aku pun taktau dia pun as complicated as I am.

Akan tetapiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii I tried something I never tried before and I am dyinggggggg to try thanks to him! hehehehehehehehehheheehe choooo happyyyyyyyyyyyyy


Another thing I wanna do - ticked!

Perang dunia yang entah kali keberapa

I always look forward to spending time with you since i have to wait before you spend your time with the 2 3 4 other people.

But today is just...a very, very sad day. Time is so precious. But it just got wasted away, big time.

Nothing in my mind rather than sadness. Like super sadness. Radio plak tengah keluar lagu fatamorgana aku pun taktau apa kaitan dengan situasi aku skang, tapi the mellow melody just make me sad. Ok now tengah rangkap "pulanglah kepada tuhan..cahaya kehidupan" T___T


After I left, I cried like a baby. And called somebody. Now nak pergi lepak hope dia tak ngutuk aku yang tengah sedu sedan ni. I know what he's gonna say. But heck it i need some distraction sbb kalau balik umah sure aku meroyan. Ok dia dah sampai. Gotta go.

The joy of not being the one :(

Nadzirah

November 23, 2014

Done with the runs for 2014


Can safely say I am done with my runs for the year 2014. Time to prepare my leg under the knife in January. Wanted to speed up the surgery but hmm guess it's no nice to take too long of an MC in new place, no?
Best run : Million Women Marathon. My fitness and leg was tiptop. I recorded my best 10km. My first ever 10k. All was good

Worst run : PBIM. Very demotivated, I almost gave up.

Most painful run : SCKLM. I literally ran beating the pain on my right knee and my left knee gave out at the end of the race, maybe because I overuse it. But I still managed to finish the run. Second one would be Run for Peace because I ran on my 2nd day of menses and I had quite a stomach cramp.

Most uneventful run : Pink Charity Run. Boorrring. Not quite organized and afterall it was only a charity run. But the medal was nice so that was okay to me I supposed

Most enjoyable run : Rock to Rock by HRC. Beautiful view. Very nice run. Short but sweet escape to Penang :)



Here's to 2015. Hope I can try doing my first HM next year and try a trail run?

November 17, 2014

Another one done

Penang Bridge International Marathon 2014. I think the worst run of the year in terms of my personal performance and the run itself.


Took shuttle since 620am only to reach the running area at 720am due to the bad traffic around the running area. And we had to freaking walk around 200m to the starting line in rush. Flag off was at 7am but I pushed off from the starting line at 725am....


At one point of the bridge it was so crowded and I could barely breathe. With the heat, the smell from various sweating runners and the fact that we started really late, I was so demotivated I nearly gave up. Talked myself into finishing the run...and I did it for around 1 hr 35 mins I think. My leg wasn't hurting me as bad as SCKLM but my spirit was torn hence the bad timing...

I think I am done with PBIM. Once is enough. Onto my next run, the last one for 2014 and the last one before I go for surgery to fix my patellafemoral ligament....

Hope everything goes well >.<

November 14, 2014

Hello :)

That feeling...

November 10, 2014

DOKTER, GIGI SAYA.... (FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS TO THE DENTISTS)

I have worked for 2 years (6/11/12 I went to induction and 13/11/12 officially started working as a dental officer). Within this period I have met thousands of patients with different kind of attitude and came with different kind of questions.


So what are the frequently asked questions by my patients.. (soalan yang selaluuuuu ditanya kepada dentist) :
*Please note that some of the management does not apply to all, you may need to see the dentist if the condition persists*

1) DOKTER, GUSI SAYA BERDARAH, (I have bleeding gum)
Gosok gigi berdarah, Why? Apa punca berdarah? OK Let's look at the following picture :

source : www.deardoctor.com

Yang putih tu gigi. Yang kuning tu plaque (sisa makanan yg tak terbersih). Yang merah tu gusi. Plaque selalunya terkumpul dibahagian gusi because most of the surfaces of the teeth dapat dibersihkan oleh lidah dan air liur. Tapi cecelah gusi ni tricky sikit, susah nak dibersihkan dengan lidah dan air liur so plaque terkumpul kat situ dan seterusnya buat gusi kita bengkak. Bila gusi bengkak apa jadi adik-adik? Yaaaaaa ia senangggg berdarah

So what's the remedy? Benda paling basic sekali dalam penjagaan gigi - BRUSH YOUR TEETH RIGHT! Teknik betul. Berus gigi yang betul. InsyaAllah, masalah gusi berdarah dapat dikurangkan dan dihentikan terus. 

I also got patients coming with calculus setebal bentuk gigi 


2) DOKTER, MAKANAN SELALU TERSELIT CELAH GUSI NI. ADA LUBANG LA. NI HA LUBANG ANTARA GIGI NI DENGAN GIGI NI SAYA NAK TAMPAL BOLEH TAK? (I got food stucked a lot in between my teeth, I think there is a hole there can you please do a filling on that area)

TAK BOLEH! A lot of time I kept on receiving this questions. Selalu patients insist nak jugak tampal siap korek-korek dengan kuku ni haa cakap yeeee ada lubang saya nak tampal jugak ade jugak lubang ade jugakkkkk..

Dear all, your teeth comes with some curves and they are not actually box-shaped. Memang gigi kita sebenarnya bukan petak segi-segi dia ada macam shape sikit macam gambar bawah ni..
source : clayhalldental.co.uk

Tengok tak sebenarnya ada satu part kecil je gigi sebelah menyebelah ni bersentuh (contact point) bahagian lain tak. Jadi, makanan memang selalu masuk bahagian yg cecelah gigi tu tapi ia TAK BOLEH DITAMPAL. Kalau tampal apa jadi? Well, kalau tampal jugak nanti gusi tu akan lagi bengkak sebab ditekan bahan tampalan. Bayangkan la kalau plaque terkumpul kat gusi pun bole berdarah, ni pulak bahan tampalan solid yg tekan gusi.

source : www.sainidentalcarehoshiarpur.info
Yang tengah tu pulak kita panggil median diastema, itu satu lagi ciptaan Tuhan yang datang pada sesetengah orang, biasanya kita boleh tengok orang dari keturunan Afrika camtu selalu ada median diastema yang besar. Ini kes terpencil, yang dimana awak ada option untuk 1) rapatkan gigi tu 2) buat tampalan untuk tutup sikit ruang antara gigi kalau tak besar sangat 3) embrace it, terima dan senyum seindah suria because you are what you are waaahh gittoohh..


3) DOKTER, GIGI SAYA ADA LUBANG LA..CABUT JE LA NANTI SAKIT JUGAK. (There is a hole in my tooth can you please just take it out eventually it will give me problem anyway)


Selalu kalau dapat soalan ni memang ini la muka dalam hati saya atau disebalik mask. Tsk, Makcik/pakcik/adik/nenek/atok/kakak/abang, kalau tangan terluka awak potong ke terus tangan sebab nanti dia sakit jugak. Tak kan? Hmm, the same goes with your teeth. Let us have a look at your teeth and see what we can do, alright? Kalau la betul memang dah rosak teruk, ok takpe, mari cabut. Tapi kalau setakat lubang kecik je, cuba la dulu tampal. 

I understand...tampal gigi is not the greatest filling at all. So does having sembelit, or kuku termasuk sembilu, or kulit tepi kuku tertarik, or tercepit tangan kat pintu.. But when the phase is over, it's gonna be alright. Here's a tip - do not focus on the drilling sound and the fact that it's cutting through your tooth. Chillax je focus on your breathing. Tutup la mata bayangkan tengah bersantai tepi construction site ke ape..


4) DOKTER, GIGI SAYA MACAM GOYANG LA BOLEH TAK TAMPAL (I think my tooth is loose, can you get it filled?) 



Ini pulak opposite to the above patients. Gigi dah goyang terhuyung-hayang but wanted to get it filled. Konsep tampal gigi ialah bila ada ruang, ada lubang. Tapi kalau takde lubang, gigi goyang-goyang tak boleh sayang, tak boleh tampal. 

How can a tooth reach to a loose phase? Well well well. Nak tau macammana gigi goyang? OK jom tengok gambar

source :www.smilesongreatwood.com

 OK ini gambarajah sebelah menyebelah nak compare gusi sihat dan gusi tak sihat. Gigi kita sebenarnya masuk dalam socket yang dikelilingi tulang dan diliputi gusi (amagaaad awkwardnya penerangan)

source : www.newteethforme.com

Ini pulak tunjukkan macammana gusi tu boleh berubah dari sihat kepada tidak sihat.

Gusi sihat -> Gusi bengkak -> tulang yang "memegang" gigi mula mengecut kerana asyik diinjured oleh plaque/calculus tadi -> gigi mula goyang sebab dah kurang support -> gigi tak boleh diselamatkan lagi :(


So what is the reason? Yes. Simple aje. Improper care of oral hygiene. Neglect. Tak berus gigi. Malas berus gigi. Berus gigi tak betul. Berus gigi tak sempurna. Sisa terus terkumpul. Calculus formation. 
What is calculus? Calculus to be simple is hardened plaque. Sisa makanan tadi yang dah lama sangat, dia membentuk deposit yang melekat kat gigi dan gusi dan hanya boleh dibuang dengan rawatan scaling (or cuci gigi like most of my patients said)

 
source : www.brightonimplantclinic.co.uk

source : www.kakossmiles.com


Those are calculus. They are super unhealthy and gross. They cause bad breath and also eventually loose tooth. They don't normally start to be this thick so you have to monitor yourself. Saya banyak jumpa orang yang datang dengan keadaan gigi macam ni tapi tanya macammana nak putihkan gigi (-__-") Those would need a good hour to be totally removed. Lepastu bile dah scaling ada ruang antara gigi terus rasa pelik and mintak tampal ruang antara gigi. Adeh..



All in all, I can say that ignorance is not always a bliss. For your health, ignorance is harmful. And oral care, are as important as other parts of the body jugak. Jangan la rasa kesihatan mulut ni benda remeh. Ya, memang senang sangat nak jaga kesihatan mulut. Berus gigi dengan sempurna. Gunakan teknik yang betul bukan force yang kuat. Berus gigi yang lembut. Berus disudutkan lebihkurang 45 darjah kearah gusi dan semua permukaan mesti diberus. Pastikan gosok sampai belakang jugak. Begitulah.
source : www.identalhub.com

Ada banyak je lagi soalan pelik-pelik yang saya dapat. Tapi nantilah dah letih. Lol. Semoga ada kekuatan lagi nak menulis di masa akan datang. Kbyeeeeeeeeeeee

November 01, 2014

Dari dapur kakjiah

Since my return to Malaysia, I never cook as much as I did back in Cork. But I actually enjoyed cooking a lot. Sometimes when I get to watch television (yes, I don't watch tv that much these days) my favourite channel is 727, the Food Network Channel. So sometimes when I miss cooking, I will roll up my sleeves and start whipping up something in the kitchen...


So these are some food that I whipped up in my kitchen recently..


This is actually a technically problem caramel pudding. I mistook yellow colourant for vanilla essence so it came out yellower than normal. LOL. But the taste was alright!


This is my version of healthy breakfast. Poached egg with grilled tomato and fried tuna.


My rendition of megi goreng and this was from only a packet of Mamee's Maggi and that's a lot. The best megi goreng for me was from mamak restoran ABC that was closed down few years ago. Never had any megi goreng better than theirs..


Deconstructed Shepherd's Pie! Saw somebody uploaded a picture of the pie so I tried to recreate one that can be done without an oven so come this deconstructed version. 


My version of Chicken Rice which I named it Chicken Rice JDTolongmenang because this was done yesterday and Team JDT is playing this weekend I really hope they win with hope that we get to get a free holiday this Sunday. Luls. Back in Cork I tried adding in sesame oil to chicken rice and it tasted goooooood. It was hard to get a good Chicken Rice here, so far my favourite is Nasi Ayam Cun at Taman Shamelin Perkasa and their soup is really good. So I tried to do a chicken rice which is rich with sesame oil fragrant and taste with good soup and I think I managed to whip up something quite nice, and it was approved by someone else :P





Dah pass kan nak kawen? OK now time to find a husband.KBAI

October 31, 2014

Gut Feeling

My gut feeling and my instinct (which was accompanied by a few investigations here and there. LOL) are telling me that you are settling down soon.


Oh well.


Seram. Harap aku tak meroyan sangat. Haha.



I will be fine. I have to be fine. Ya Allah, have mercy on me T___T

October 20, 2014

To do list

October 19, 2014

One day

One day I am going to find strength to fight for my right.

One day I am going to be able to tell it off to your face how badly you hurt me and how difficult for me to live with it.

Til the day comes, I am just going to keep praying.

October 14, 2014

Beating fears

Ran with weak ligament and no practice.

A few more before I get my knee fixed. Godspeed!

October 06, 2014

Kehidupan Seorang Pegawai Pergigian - What is it like to be one?

I just had quite a long day, and it hasn't even ended yet. A few more hours before I can have a proper rest..so this post is inspired from what I just went through today..


What is it like to be a dental officer, working in the non-private sector?

Well, I must say, it is quite hectic. There are times when the clinic get pretty busy and we were flooded with patients. Sometimes we can predict when will THE busy day be. Normally on Sundays - since the state govt hasn't unified the weekend so the private sector people used this chance to get treatment on Sundays. Also people tend to go after a long weekend, like today or before a long weekend - ya know just in case things went wrong during the  weekend. And some MC seekers of course love Mondays to go for treatment of the teeth that might have been rotten months ago.....

The patients I saw today..

During THE busy day - it gets pretty tiring. We usually see at least 30 patient in the morning - that's from 8.15am when we usually start calling in the patient up until 1pm which is about 5 hours or 300 minutes which leave us on average around 10 minutes to spare between each patient. That means no visit to toilet, no take 5, no drinks in between. And things might take longer to get done with - extraction might be harder, tooth fracture, scaling calculus that has been around for a year or so might take ages to remove and patient...oh some patients have really bad gag reflex that they need to spit out the water every 30 seconds or so..


With abundance of patient and limited time to spend on each of them we turn into heartless robot. No small chit-chat. No asking how's your day. And to some point it is hard even to carve a smile after a tiring day. The minute they step in I would straight away "what would you like to do today" and just go on start away doing the treatment. Sometimes I get a very, unaware patient with abundant calculus but wanted to get their teeth straightened. Sometimes I get patient with tiny hole in the tooth but insisted on extraction. Sometimes I get patient with a tooth very loose but insisted on getting a filling done where no hole is present at all. And all of this has slowly turn me into a very easily annoyed person and lost my cool quite a lot.


So one might question how come there is a big difference between a private and non-private dental practice? The cost of dental equipments are not cheap at all. The instruments needed to be cleaned, properly disinfected and sterilized and each and every cleaning tool are expensive. In government we normally do one treatment per visit due to the time constraint but you get to do as much treatment as you want in private dental practice. And in private practice, we get paid for the level of difficulty of the treatment done, especially during extractions. Trust me, taking one tooth out is not easy, especially the non-loose ones. I get muscle sore often from working and had to spend on some good body massage to recover. On the other hand, government dental practice had all the equipment subsidized by the government and our pay is fixed no matter how many or how little we did..and that explains why I am still working past 5pm, I needed to work a bit harder to earn a little more to accommodate my life -__-"


Sometimes on job not properly done, it haunts me. Sometimes I wish we had more dental chairs in the clinic (the non-private one) to meet the high demands. Forgive me my patients for sometimes not doing a nicely carved fillings. For not smiling or not entertaining your stories.

I also wish that the level of awareness among Malaysians on their oral health increases. One with easy access to internet can get all the information within seconds but how about the pakciks and makciks at the kampungs? We do, have visit or program from time to time but I still feel more needed to be done as I see lots of patient with very bad condition coming sometimes a little to late to do anything..


With that said here's a secret for everyone to know to get an optimum oral hygiene - BRUSH YOUR TEETH WELL. BRUSH IT PROPERLY and you could save all the extra ringgits for something else...






September 29, 2014

To inspire vs to not inspire

I bumped onto a blog that was well-written, and freshly inspiring and I took a look at mine....



....



......


..........



Well. It used to be one. But not anymore. Sigh.

Will find some inspiration to put up something beneficial later just in case people ended up being lost at this blog.

September 25, 2014

Beeeeech plssssssss

Ya think I am gonna entertain ya pointless text?


I have got thousand things to say but I am not gonna let it out on a slightest bit. Wanted to reply it with the short and sweet "K" but figured out you don't even deserve that.

^_^

September 21, 2014

Stockholm Syndrome

Feeling down and defeated.

Will try my best to let go for good now.

September 13, 2014

Joy of being not the one

Joy of being not the one

He brings you around
He spends a lot of his time
He occupies a lot of your life
But at times where you want him to be there when he can't
And he just can't
Cause you are not the one

Joy of being not the one

He brings you to meet new people
He involves you in part of his new company
And when it comes to the introduction
You are not the one
And still not the one

Joy of being not the one

- not the one, tbs, septemberthirteenthonefour -

Gemok oiiii



Seven kilos heavier from my last shedding-kilos-phase weight. So stressed. Can't seem to find time for exercise. Can't seem to control what I eat. Right knee has been too manja these days a bit of extra force would put me into tempang mode for a few days.

6 years ago where it all started


Gambar pembakar semangat. Lulz
Tazabar nak kembali. Cant wait to hit the gym back.

Need. To. Get. Back. On. Track.

Pronto.

September 09, 2014

Rindu awak 200%

Caught up with some people from a part of my left that I have been missing a lot. So happy to be around them again, even for a while.


Bringing around they guys to buy baju melayu for Kamil's reception in Manjung. Had so much fun picking up colours and samping for them. Had the salesguy show them how to wear the samping it is amusing to see how excited they were
My gossip guys and girls 
Brought them to have a glimpse of Malaysian food. They have been tolerating the spicy alright Shane even munched on a dried chilli that I myself can't take it well >.<
Beautiful reception at Hilton 
James and his selfie stick, his new friend
At Pacific Regency where they stayed before we went to the reception
It was one hell of a good weekend. Missing everyone already.

September 01, 2014

Strange

How is it possible to spend so much time with someone but still end up missing them anyway. Is this the withdrawal effect?

August 30, 2014

One of those days..

One of those days when you are certainly not in mood and feel like just curling yourself up in the duvet.

August 28, 2014

Beach selfie

Finding peace from the nature. Excuse my unshowered face with tudung rambut tersembul, I was just so happy being so close with my favourite element.


Guess where I am/was(?)
;)

August 25, 2014

August 23, 2014

My boring weekend

One of those rare weekend that I am stuck in Pontian simply because I am oncall this week. Oncall in Pontian is nothing like JB. It is very much calmer but you really can't predict what could happen over the week..


I was doing locum on Friday so it went pretty quickly. Had a call at 4.30pm for a case of 5 years old being knocked down by a cow (YES, MY SECOND COW VS HUMAN CASE WHAT'S WITH MY LUCK EH?) and he sustained a 5cm laceration wound on the cheek and a degloving injury intraorally. The laceration wound on the cheek was simple but the degloving injury gave me a bit headache but I managed to heck it anyway. So thankful the case came when I was finishing my locum because I spent like 2 hours stitching up the boy T________T


It is the time on the month but I managed to force myself to wake up and go for a run today. My weight has been skyrocketting within this few months so I have to do something. Spent a good hour running and fastwalking at the mini stadium and by the seaside. Managed to beat the stomach cramp I am so happy with myself because the last time I ran 10km with stomach cramp I could barely run!


Morning from Pontian :)
Went to do some groceries right after the run and went back home. Made a simple breakfast and straightaway rolled my sleeves up and spent a good 4 hours doing total house cleaning. Cleaned my room, mopped the floor, scrubbed the bathroom and kitchen. It was about 2pm when I finished cleaning I was too tired to even stand. Fried some simple mihun for lunch and tried to sleep but failed miserably..


After several failed attempts to sleep I went out for a sightseeing but was back home half an hour later because there's really nothing much to do in Pontian -__-" So I decided to prep my dinner and managed to prepare ayam paprik and sup sayur to bring to work tomorrow..


Grilled tomatoes, half boiled egg and grilled tuna for breakfast. Omelette with ayam paprik and rice for dinner..

After dinner I had another case of post extraction bleeding. Thank God it was a simple one and I went alone without my assistant and managed to come back home after 45 minutes.


It was quite a boring weekend for me as compared to the always busy weekend I had back home. But not for long now.... Thank God I had Domok accompanying me all along :D
Domok says HI!

August 22, 2014

To all Malaysians, welcome home

During my five years abroad the thing that I look forward to every summer time is going back home to the family and friends. Tickets have been bought as early as March and we always put that as our motivation as we go through the stressful examination weeks.


Throughout my five years of traveling to and fro Ireland-Malaysia my choice of airline is none other than our very own Malaysian Airlines. I have once flew a neighbour country airline. The flight was comfortable, I think the legroom is a bit more spacious and we even got our own inflight packages but nothing beats the homely feeling and the warmth of the crews of MAS.


After fighting with exams and settling clinical requirements we go on counting days to the departure. Journey back home requires a transit and we fly from Cork to either Heathrow or Amsterdam. My personal choice of airport is Amsterdam as it gives out more friendly vibe compared to Heathrow. 1 hour from Cork following transit of 2 to 4 hours we finally see the boarding sign on the display.


The moment we stepped onboard we are already greeted by the wide smiles of the crews. Berita Harian, Utusan, News Straits Times are prepared by the door of the aircraft and that made us feel all giddy up inside having to touch something 'home' after a while. The crews never fail to help us with our overweight hand luggages as they are being lifted up into the compartments. As everything goes into place, the flight boarded and we are finally on the way back home :)


The inflight meals aren't the most delicious food you ever tasted but they are served by the ever patience crews who would go to every passengers enquiring beef or chicken, nasi lemak or western, spaghetti or rice...as they serve the delicious bun and pouring juices they maintain the smile although God knows how tired they are of doing the same thing countless times.


As we arrive, the pilot will greet us "...and to all Malaysians, welcome home" A single most powerful line that brushes away the tiring thirtheen hours journey.


Words may fail me but trust me MAS has always been so close to my heart and forever will have my support. For whatever unfortunates that have fallen onto MAS's shoulder this year, I will always stand by your side. .


To all crews and passengers of MH17, welcome home.


Al Fatihah.

August 21, 2014

Career

Parts and parcels of my job as a dental officer in MoH includes community service like this. Talks to all sorts of people at all levels.


I always have passion working with people. I like helping people making their lives better. The smile on my patient's face after receiving treatment is like a booze to me. I may only be a Dentist that works at only a portion of human's body but I am truly blessed for having this opportunity to help other people.


But my career plan will not stop at where I am right now. I will work my way up. Some time in the future, I will be sitting in a better place. Maybe in my own clinic. Maybe in my own specialist room. Maybe in front of my future students. And hopefully happy in the arms of my future family with my kids.


Perhaps..perhaps..perhaps..


Come what may, Allah is the best planner. Putting my faith on Him to decide what is the best for me and may with every difficulties He places along the way, He will also grant me strength by the side.

August 08, 2014

Rusty dusty

My English has been pretty rusty these days. So here's an attempt to save my losing Cork accent.


Classmates coming in a month! Sexciteddddddd 😁😁😁😁

New company

Meet my new company...Mr D. Domok on good days..Dickhead on bad ones! Lol.


Still dreaming on that bed-sized teddy.... As for now let me just be happy with my half-a-bed-sized Domdoms alright?


My birthday has always been a big deal for me...That's just me and my weaknesses for making it a big deal. I tend to get either really sad or really happy on my birthday. Last year was on spot, jackpot! I had all I need to make me happy.


As for this year.....not quite a hit I must say. But I am still thankful I had my mak aunties uncles and cousins singing bday song for me at 12 o'clock..got few hundreds from abang despite him not wishing me on that day itself and a great friend who took all the trouble to sing me my bday song. And of course my belated,precious bday gift who just came today..


Dah tua2 pun perangai camni kan? Sori laaaaa that's just my weakness, alright.

August 01, 2014

Make your wish

Happy birthday to me :)

July 30, 2014

Turning another year

Last year bukan main orang pertama lagi wish siap nyanyi.

This year?

Haram. Sampai sekarang tak wish.

N

July 16, 2014

Nanananananana

Losing it and giving it up.

Hey hope I am hanging onto you now

Bring me up fly me high

Push me down to ground or let me die

For I will try my best to not give a fuck anymore

May 25, 2014

Obsolete?

Has blogging gone obsolete these days? This past few days I have lots and lots of voices inside of my head going around. A lot of things to be shared about. A lot of things to say..but sadly I can't quite find someone to share this with, and then I remember I had you, mi blog. I don't think I have that much of a reader no more, except you are here to stalk me then yes, you'd better be keeping your eyes wide open on my blog after this ha di ha ha perasan la kau sape nak stalk...


"Human most powerful power is...HOPE" - Charles Xavier aka Professor X


That very sentence startled me upon hearing it. I gives me hope, but at the same time it tears me apart from the inside as well. Let me tell you what have been bothering me this while..

I have a companion whom I spent time with, a lot since the past few months. I enjoy the company, having someone to share your worries, your joy, your tears. I was aware that it was not mine to begin with but the happiness I gain with the company overshadowed the fact that eventually, it is not mine.

We spent lots of time together. Went through silly adventures. Had loads and loads of silly fights. It almost came to the point that we kinda know each other inside out. Sometimes we finish each other sentences. Sometimes we know how the other will react to things.

Our dynamics create a quite complicated relationship. Reason being the company already had someone else in his life to end up with soon but here I am with my countless failure of trying to dodge the feelings getting deeper for him. Despite putting my bad behaviours in front of him to make him mad, I still cannot go too far away from him.

As time goes by, it gets nearer to the day he will no longer be available to accompany me getting my cravings for A&W satisfied, goes shopping for Krabi or even watch my favourite movie, Xmen. The thought of it is enough to hurts my brain and my heart. I cannot quite imagine seeing it actually happen in front of me.

All I can do now is to hope. A little hope for a miracle. But a bigger one would be gaining strength to overcome the tough days.


-N-


May 15, 2014

Current obsession


What would I do without your smart mouth?
Drawing me in, and you kicking me out
You've got my head spinning, no kidding, I can't pin you down
What's going on in that beautiful mind
I'm on your magical mystery ride
And I'm so dizzy, don't know what hit me, but I'll be alright

My head's under water
But I'm breathing fine
You're crazy and I'm out of my mind

'Cause all of me
Loves all of you
Love your curves and all your edges
All your perfect imperfections
Give your all to me
I'll give my all to you
You're my end and my beginning
Even when I lose I'm winning
'Cause I give you all of me
And you give me all of you, oh


How many times do I have to tell you
Even when you're crying you're beautiful too
The world is beating you down, I'm around through every mood
You're my downfall, you're my muse
My worst distraction, my rhythm and blues
I can't stop singing, it's ringing, in my head for you

My head's under water
But I'm breathing fine
You're crazy and I'm out of my mind

'Cause all of me
Loves all of you
Love your curves and all your edges
All your perfect imperfections
Give your all to me
I'll give my all to you
You're my end and my beginning
Even when I lose I'm winning
'Cause I give you all of me
And you give me all of you, oh


Give me all of you
Cards on the table, we're both showing hearts
Risking it all, though it's hard

'Cause all of me
Loves all of you
Love your curves and all your edges
All your perfect imperfections
Give your all to me
I'll give my all to you
You're my end and my beginning
Even when I lose I'm winning
'Cause I give you all of me
And you give me all of you

I give you all of me
And you give me all of you, oh




April 29, 2014

Hating your existence

I wish you never existed in his life.


Nadzirah

April 26, 2014

Now let me picture you..

"Because this icon suits you the best.."

March 08, 2014

Have you?

Have you hated me enough now?

I am sorry. I really had to do it.

I had to.


N

March 02, 2014

Tenang

Tenangnya mendamaikan. Damainya menenangkan.

To be able to not linger on things..

Subhanallah Allahuakbar.

For He knows what is the best for me.

I shall be patient. In Sya Allah. My time will come ;)