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February 23, 2017

Demons

At times there are voices in my head that bring out the worst in me. Almost always it happens during :

A) encounters with bad drivers
B) when I think of that particular someone
C) when somebody forces me to do something I hate

I really hope this voices stay inside because I really wouldn't want to imagine what will happen if it comes out.


On another note, I dreamt of Tok Haron last night. We were in some kind of assembly and he was giving out advices like don't miss your prayer and encouraging the guys to perform prayer in jemaah..and a few others that I can't quite remember.

Al fatihah tok haron, you are dearly missed.

February 13, 2017

Is It Monday Already?

My alarm went on at 630am this morning, and as I struggle to push the stop button I was so disappointed when I look at the day today. "Monday 13 February 2017"

Is it Monday already? Where did my weekend go? How come I did not feel rested at all? 😭😭😭

So I am back at square one, counting calories and bitching about weight. This past few months I've been working out and running but my weight did not show any signs of decreasing at all. Plus, I showed my knee's MRI results to Aqeel (Fuzah's husband) and he said I need to lose weight. So I think it's about time we go back to basic.

Calories counting isn't fun at all but it promises results because that's the basic of losing weight. Calories in < calories out. It's kinda annoying because you have to keep track of everrrrrrything you eat.


Apart from that, I'm starting to save up money for a trip. That means I have to work my arse off to earn extra and as a result, my body is screaming for a massage fix already. But that also need money so basically I'm a bit effed up. Trying my best not to touch my savings so I'm becoming more careful with my spendings now.

Til then. Tata

January 10, 2017

Tentang 2017

2017 sudah. Wah.

Tentang 2017 ni prinsip nya redah, redah aja kasi pecah.

Yang mana ada, yang mana tinggal, yang mana masih berhubung itu aja yang mungkin kekal untuk tahun seterusnya. Kalau 2016 macam ada juga la usaha nak teruskan berhubung, gigih juga nak bertanya khabar membuat effort, 2017 ni kalau kau busy, kau busy lah dengan hidup kau. Biar kawan bertukar jadi kenalan, sekali sekala disapa untuk bertukar soalan, usha kehidupan dari media sosial, cukup la kan? Apa guna ada media sosial kalau tak guna untuk stalk orang dan buat kesimpulan sendiri.

Entah apa nak diexpect untuk tahun 2017 ni yang penting, mungkin circle makin kecil, tapi itulah yang akan kekal untuk selamanya.

Berbaur emosi pulak post kalini. Moga dicatitan akan datang suasana lebih tenang.

December 13, 2016

Menjelang 2017

Mungkin baru tengah Disember tapi memandangkan 2016 ni lari selaju-laju si Bolt, marila kita mengenang kembali.

2016 membawa terlalu banyak kenangan manis yang tak pasti boleh dibawa ke 2017 atau tidak. Yang pasti, walaupun it's a brief moment, I had the time of my life, and it was the happy ones.

Mesej yang dibawa tahun ini ;

- pakai tudung tutup dada; nasihatnya cuma sekali, terpahat berkali-kali. masih cuba yang terbaik untuk istiqomah

- park tayar straight. yang ni berkali-kali diingatkan..tapi masa yang tak dibuat la selalunya kantoi dan dibebel 😅

- bibir kekal basah, jangan kering-kering, drink your water

- makan jangan tinggal; that explains the increase in my weight, which is quite worrying actually

- dan yang lain-lain yang tak terkeluar buat saat ini.

Kini menjelang 2017, macam biasa anxiety and worry akan menyelubungi disetiap saat, lebih lagi dengan pertambahan usia dan stigma masyarakat terhadap gadis lanjut usia yang tak berumahtangga lagi ni. Semoga tenang menghadapi dugaan and percayalah, aturanNya yang terbaik. Go with the flow, kalau itu arusnya, kau tenang dan terus berenang.

Be strong hokay?

December 08, 2016

Doa Yang Susah

Pernah ada doa yang susah?

Like you have a wish that is almost impossible to be granted, but you keep on wishing anyway. So day by day you pray and pray that one day He'll listen.

Doa yang susah juga serve as a reminder to you. Like how I wanted to delay my Zuhur prayer just now and I somehow realized - suruhan yang simple ni pun kau take it for granted lagi kau berharap Dia kabulkan permintaan kau yang bukan-bukan?

Doa yang susah juga mengajar kau kebergantungan total pada Tuhan kerana Dia punya sebaik-baik perancangan.

Semoga suatu hari, ditunjukkan jalan. Doa yang susah ini diberi kesenangan, hati yang gundah ini diberi keriangan. Still trusting your plan, Ya Rabb.