July 03, 2015

Kereta oh kereta

I am in the mood where I feel like buying a new car. Once in a while perasaan tu datang. Speshly bila kereta baru buat hal (masuk banjir, tayar pancit) walaupun sebenarnya benda tu boleh je jadi dekat kereta baru mahupun lama.

My car is a hand-me-down from abang. So it's technically not my personal choice. It is a 6 years old car and it has traveled a heck lot. With abang, V has traveled KL-Terengganu-KL quite frequently for a good few years and with me, V traveled 323km every weekend, for 2 years. Its mileage is over 260,000km now my oh my..And because we live up the legacy of our parent, we drive our car almost to its full potential and are very notoriously known as very impatience drivers kahkah okay bawak laju je parent's legacy tak penyabar masalah sendiri.

I recently notice the change of performance in V. It could be aftermath of the banjir tragedy. It could be the aging process. Yesterday I was having my fast-drive-radio-fullblast therapy and noticed when it hit 160-170km/h it's not as smooth as it used to be. Back then when I was still traveling. V could go up to 180km/h and still going on steady. Kalau ikut kepala gila semalam memang nak tekan 180-190 just to test its limit tapi sebab lalu highway selalu ada polis I tried to behave.

V saya comot. Tintednya sopak-sopak. Luarnya lopak-lopak. Radionya usang. Interiornya kotoq bak ang. Tapi saya sayang V sangat-sangat. Dulu kalau stress mesti pecut laju balik Johor. Kalau tengah sedih masuk cd Amy Winehouse pasang kuat-kuat singalong. Lepastu bila dengar lagu-lagu yang trigger airmata, menangis lah saya menderu-deru dalam kereta. V dah pergi ke utara ke selatan ke timur ke barat. V jadi saksi kisah suka duka. V has also been the witness of my hanky panky little secret. Sekarang mesti dah off limit and I kinda miss it because I enjoyed doing it very much so hmm mesti aku sorang je rindu sebab you don't need me anymore kahkah ok ok behave behave tengah puasa ni..

So bila fikir balik, with the unstable economy and my own financial status might as well stick to V as long as I can. Baik save up and buy my dream car when my financial status permits.Audi has always been my favourite choice and I am not into hatchback car. Rasa macam tikus mondok kecuali VW Golf GTI itu cantik. Tapi that's just personal choice la bukan la tahap tamau naik kete hatchback ke apa.  Maybe I need to start forking up money to give V a little touch up here and there. OKlah pendamkan je la perasaan nak beli kereta baru tu lah ye?

July 01, 2015

Hitting the halfway mark

It's July already and we are hitting the halfway mark through Ramadhan tomorrow. Time passed by pretty fast I guess. Turning another year this month and I am so dreading it coz for some reason I made my birthday a big fuss and will become upset upon certain things. Well we'll see tahun ni macam mana pergi dia. Expecting nothing for this year anyway so I should just really distract myself well from expecting or waiting.

As far as Ramadhan goes, finally get to have mine done fully at home. I have always been away since the past..erm..14 years (?) so this is the first one I'm having it at home. Nothing special. There are days where I have to breakfast alone coz mak is on duty surau. Buka ja apa-apa pun oats ngan telur pun jadilah. And I never ever been to bazar Ramadhan for even once. Tak Malaysian betul kahkah tapi seriously malas. There was one time I really wanted a karipap sardin so I made my own instead  of buying it at bazar. Gigih abis tapi teringin gak actually nak pergi..we'll see la how.

I work on certain nights but  there aren't too many patients so I have ample time for terawih on my own and Quran recital. Alhamdulillah reaching juzu' 20 already and so far never missed terawih even if I have to do it on my own. Haritu tragedi sadis tayarku pancit pun balik malam-malam gagahkan jugak terawih. Eh show off ke ape ni tak tak I just want to remind myself maybe after this maybe years after this if I ever go astray remember how I used to be. Besides I am my own blog reader ye know.

Other than that, same 'ol same 'ol jiwa kacau hatiku risau. Really having hard time recovering now. All I can do now is doa doa doa. May He grant me with abundance of patience to deal with this.

June 30, 2015


Perhaps it's time for a solo trip?

June 29, 2015


The phone storage is almost full so I had to do some cleaning up.

And I stumbled upon pictures over pictures that brought memories. A sharp, prickling pain stung me and I thought to myself, are they even legit?

I came knowing that it isn't going anywhere, I didn't wanna go anywhere but I do hope it's going to be here to stay and was comforted with a fact that it's going to stay the way it is. I enjoyed the company very much so. But who knows modifications happened. Trust flipped off.

I was initially shocked, later on disappointed. Now I'm just trying to learn to forgive myself. For holding on to much onto words. For developing such dependency.

June 25, 2015


Strategi sekarang ialah kau pamerkan perangai paling buruk sekali.
Cari gadoh benda paling picisan.
Because I know you too well to know what triggers your anger.
Bagi orang benci.

Tapi ketahuilah I don't feel good at all doing all this. For every pain that I have caused, I pray to God may they protect you from other pain. I tried my best to be heartless and all, but it makes me feel guilty that it wakes me up at night feeling all bad..

Takpelah blog, it's just you and me right? No one knows..