November 30, 2015

Just random

Sometimes, we go east coast just because...reasons.. Ya know.. And none of us originated from East Coast. Selangor/KL to the core yaw. Kah. Penipu gila. Tapi betul la, takde pantai timur pun mostly selatan je utara je

Tomorrow comes December. I'm going to start tapering down my antidepressant. So kasi can la iols nak reminisce saat indah for the last time..

Goodbye K. Imma say hello from the other side now :')

November 29, 2015

No chill

Tonight I'm strucked by a very envious feeling. How I wish things go my way.

Or this might just be another case of missing a presence.

Whatever it is, you are still so far like a distant star I'm wishing on tonight.

November 27, 2015

Wait for me to come home

Song came on radio, I sang along and suddenly..
I macam terasa pulak dengar lagu ni 
I shot him an annoyed face.
You tuju lagu ni kat I eh 
Rolled my eyes.
Okay, wait for me to come home eh *gelak besar*
Proceeded to just sing the song even louder and ignored him

All these things but I still can't call him my own. Just jotting these down to become memories that I can look back when I miss it. A portion of my life that is effing complex yet makes me happy.

I would like to call him my antidepressant. Just enough dosage to lift me up from where I was before. But like any other drugs, at one point I will need to stop it once I get better. I'm getting better and will start to wean off this drug off my system, soon ;)

November 26, 2015

Wildest dream

Let's start this post with - Wildest Dreams. A song that I feel..haha kinda close to me right now. Thanks Bella for recommending. Kahkah.

I used to be very good in pushing other people's button. Kalau ada benda yang buat saya tak puas hati, saya akan cari gaduh secara halus, which in the end will lead to a proper cari gaduh la of course. Tak kira dengan siapa pun mesti aku buat.

However I find recently I have kinda lost the skill, or I give in a little too easily. Or the other side knows how to handle me before the crazy in me makes thing worse. Like today, I actually got a little upset because somebody went silent the whole night before. Well, actually I kinda knew why and kinda need to expect it but I got upset anyway. I hate when people who don't usually do, go silent on me. Typical me, that is.

So I tried to push the buttons. But I can't seem to find the way. Sebab dia buat dek je dengan perangai huduh aku kahkah. Lepastu umpan ajak pergi makan. Terus okay je tak jadi nak buat perangai. So I ended up giving it too soon.

Lepas balas statement bawah actually ada orang tukar nada serius-merius terus iols tak jadi buat perangai. Bahaha...lemah!  Tapi lepastu keluar kena interrogate la kenapa buat perangai dan kalau jumpa depan-depan memang jangan harap la boleh luahkan ketidakpuasan hati. Dalam message berani la kahkahkah. But he knows, I'm not happy. And dia dah google siap-siap mana nak makan sebelum satu lagi isu timbul kahkah.

My oh my. Hoping I got to meet someone who knows how to handle me like this fella. When I go crazy, don't go crazy too. Tame me, calm me down, just hug me and shut my demons down. Masih berdoa, dan terus berdoa. Moga suatu hari superman iols sampai, with a package that complements me :) Amiin.

Gadis Berharap 

November 25, 2015


Eh, you tukar your braces eh. Kenapa warna lain. 
Aah, haritu I baru gi follow up. Sajaaa...tukar-tukar angin. You ingat ke warna apa sebelum ni. 
Sebelum ni macam warna pudar sikit pink kuning camtu

Wow. Observant. My boss where I did my locum only notice I'm wearing braces after I took xray of my teeth. My boss. A dentist. And I have worked for him for around 10 months already. Lol.