October 23, 2015

Words fail

I've got a lot of things to write, but I can't seem to put the right words to it.

One thing for sure, days are getting brighter each day. I would like to believe the curse has been slowly lifted over even though things could go wrong at any point from here. But I am grateful I don't wake up feeling bad anymore.

Nonetheless, I do feel insecure living in uncertainties. I wish I could peek into the future and see what it has for me. But right here right now, patience is a virtue. A lil patience, a lot of faith is what I keep on telling myself everyday to keep going.

Putting my faith in Him, as He will arrange my life accordingly. One day it will be my turn to get my prayers answered. And til the day arrives, I am going to keep on praying and hoping.

October 21, 2015

Crunch time

September/October crunch time is O V E R. Alhamdulillah.

You know when suddenly at one time everything needs your attention. That's how I was the last 2 months. I didn't expect the purchase of house involves a lot of side things to be paid. Kahkah. Innocent sungguh saya. These 2 months alone I have to spend quite a lot to settle few things for the house. Insurance and roadtax renewal some more. Kereta pun tetiba nak tukar bearing la apa la. Plus, I was in great stress last month that I took an escape to Pulau Besar despite being broke. Lol. Since I've already borrowed large amount from Mak for the house segan dah nak mintak lagi so I worked extra hard this 2 months.

Aside from taking side jobs here and there, another tips that I read and really worked is to give more when you need more. Like seriously it does wonder. At the time where I really had to fork out money to settle things I would just chip in at any donation drives. This is not about bragging my donations or whatnot but this is simply just highlighting the point that sedekah really gives you more. And of course, never leave out your parents. Initially I negotiated with Mak saying I can't give her sekian sekian for this month but I worked extra and figured out I can still give her what I give her as usual.


Que sera-sera, aight? :)

October 19, 2015

Dream guy

If I combine...

X's gentleness and positive aura
Y's physique and wit
with a lil touch of Z's naughtiness

BOOM - dream guy right there.

But you can't always get what you want aight?

Wrapping up last week

Boys In Green's campaign in RWC is over. Stranded in the QF in Argentinian's hands. They were battered front back left right but they fought hard. Breaks my heart to see Paulie at the spectator bench. At one point the scores were so closed, but towards the end they were all tired and injured already.

It's okay. Hopefully they will improve in the next 4 years. There are a few young players who have big potentials I hope they develop well throughout this years :)


The past week has interesting one. One thing for sure I need to increase my stamina well. Did variety of calories-burning activities - hiking, badminton, karaoke-ing (yes, I think we burn at least 500kcal from the jumping and dancing) and cycling. The last time I hike was around 2 months ago so my fitness level wass quite poor. Plus, I was on my red flag when I hiked so that slowed me down a bit. Stress jugak la hike dengan orang ni that's why I like to hike by myself. Takyah nak ikut pace ke apa. Kah.

I was quite surprised to find out cycling tires me out faster than hiking. Did a mistake as I took a light breakfast  and almost passed out towards the end. Gave up at few hilly areas, tolak beskal pun menangis dalam hati okay. Lepasni ada cecita nak buat Skytrex tapi saya gayaaaat tatau la mampu dak buat. Let's see if I can be convinced to do those hanging by the air activities.

Last but not least, I am so happy that I finally managed to settle the pest control for my house. And I had a good deal as well. I have surveyed here and there and the market price are usually from RM1500-RM2000 but I had a very very good price. That's one obstacle down, many many more to go. But at least that's a big one. The CDs pun depa dah amik I just give em away. I know I could sell them off tp takpela sedekah kat depa ni lagi bagus. Senang keje iols.

Going through my days, living it one by one. Que sera-sera, what ever will be, will be :)

October 18, 2015

Taking the leap of faith

I don't know who you are -

But I'm with you

October 15, 2015

Doing it for others

We don't always get what we desire - that's the truth that hurts. But people said things can be nurtured, developed, grown. Alangkan potato pun boleh tumbuh dekat Mars, apatah lagi benda lain ye dak?

However, to do something that you aren't really...interested. It's hard. When you force something, it's tiring. When your heart is longing for something else but you've been told to do the other things, it hurts.

But I do listen to advises. As stubborn as I might appear, I can accept opinions too. So I'm giving it a try although my heart is screaming this is totally not for me. Kah. Apa boleh buat. It's not like I have a lot of options.

So aku layan je and try to hold on as much as I can. See how far this will go. Risau lebih je tah tah tak kemana pun. Lol.

On another note, I've been asked what do I look for in a guy. Well first of all, I need a manly man. I know it's a bit unfair because I'm not a girly girl..and because I don't have a slim and slender body, I don't fancy petite guy too. And I..if I'm not interested, you will know I'm not interested.

But if one is adamant. I might eventually give in. I have to admit, I'm a lil bit of a clingy person. Clingy in the sense that I want you to be in touch with me almost everyday so if you show your persistence, I might eventually get attached to you. I normally build a huge wall with a person I don't really know but once you managed to break the wall, I can really open to you.

That's why the easiest way to kill me slowly is by be close with me that I put you into the circle very close to my heart, and then one day start to be un-close to me and become distant. I get hurt day by day just by multiple failures of trying to hate you and get you out of the circle. And for the record I didn't even wanna hate you. I just force myself not to get attached to you anymore. Rest assured no one else can come close to this circle anymore. I will build a wall, make a bridge.

Oklah banyak mengarut dah. Lapar. Kbye

October 12, 2015

To QF it is

First of all, Ireland won over France. So that's a good thing to start the week. It was such a nervewrecking game. But we held on and eventually win it.

Much to the disappointment, Sexton was forced out of the game due to groin injury and he shed manly tears as he walked out the field. Twas such a heartbreaking moment to see him walk away like that. He is a brilliant player and has done tremendous job in the RWC. Another blow is when the Captain himself was down with hamstring injury. Setelah hatiku retak, ia berkecai when I saw him being transported out of the field. :'( Last player to walk out of the field was Peter O Mahony. Another big loss for Ireland. Sigh, it was such a painful game to watch.

Despite injuries over injuries, the team responded really well and marched on towards victory. Ian Henderson who replaced the captain was really a not too bad man himself. Madigan took over the kicking position got his job done quite well although I wish he plays as clever as Sexton does. Patience and efforts brought Ireland to 24-9 victory over France.

To QF this Sunday and we'll be playing against Argentina. May the luck be with the Irish side and speedy recovery to all the injured players..

Other than that...well, I think I am kinda effed up. I tried my best to open up but I failed miserably.

It's just so hard and so painful.  

October 10, 2015

October 09, 2015


I haven't been working out for a while. Since the haze started I think. Gym tak pegi. Bukit Puchong pun tak naik.

Thank God recently we started to play badminton. Because this is the only workout that I get currently, I wanted to use it as maximum as possible. Not really a good player, yet to grasp the concept of playing doubles but I tried to get the hang of it as best as I can Jack of all trades, master of none is what I'm going for I supposed.

Unfortunately with my weak knees, jumping isn't quite a thing that I can do as much as I'd like to. My knees..they have been good for a while. Last year I admit, they swell up a few times. I had to rely on knee guard to do my hikings. There were times where it'll be hard to climb up and down the stairs and my movements were quite limited.

Alhamdulillah since the past few months my knees have been cooperating well with my activities. I don't don knee guard as much as I did before.

BUT, I will be paranoid each time I do running/dancing/jumping. I can feel the knees are taking it too much, the friction. So each time I have a feeling it's gonna swell up, I will make sure I take precautions. Yesterday soon after I'm back home I took glucosamine pills. Had 2 hard boiled eggs coz I can't really think of any other easier protein source and drank a glass of milk with hope that the nutrients will fix my fucked up knees quick enough before they act up. Ran out of protein powder I think I need to buy one soon.

Hope the haze gets clear soon. I miss my Bukit Puchong weekly hike already. Mesti dah tak fit nak naik ni haishk

October 08, 2015

Tak tenang

Tak tenang pergi kerja harini.

This morning as usual, morning drive to work. But the windows and screen are all still foggy tapi memang selalu biar je lama-lama ok la. Keluar the main road kejar traffic light split second to red I went anyway because brek mengejut lagi teruk lepastu rasa macam tercium motor.

Dengan kabur-kabur lagi I don't know what happen to the motorcycle. Before my car kissed the ride he was all smiling with me while I raised my hand apologizing sebab dia pun belum hijau dah jalan. There was sound but not a loud one but because my screens are foggy I couldn't really see. Hope he's fine. Check waze takde pulak orang report accident ke apa. Lepastu check group Shah Alam Residents or Daily Traffic Report kot ada orang maki ke buat report kes langgar lari ke. Belum ada lagi.

I hope you are fine, whoever you are. May Allah bless you adeh bersalah gila iols ni.

Anywayy I think my salmon game was on point yesterday. Well you see, I normally bring my lunch from home. Too lazy to face the traffic during lunch time. So yesterday after locum I was thinking what's easy enough to be prepared when you are so sleepy. Thank God ada satu lagi frozen salmon so I grilled it as usual. Whipped up some simple nasi goreng and my usual lazy tomato dish.

But I think that's the best salmon so far. Crispy skin. Not over done. Tazabar nak makan lunch nanti. Tak makan lagi pun tau it's gonna be good. Kah. Perasan kau ni.

I miss going to the gym. Lama dah tak pergi ni since the 1 month try out period is over. Yet to register for membership padahal tengah jerebu-jerebu ni la patut pergi gym kan. Ssokay a lil bit more to go. Getting things sorted and then I will get my focus back on track.

October 06, 2015

What's wrong with you

I was so hungry this morning, so I had to go lenient a bit with my light breakfast experiment and had tuna french toast. Menyesal sikit because it is the kind of sandwich that has little tiny tuna filling in it and the rest is mayonnaise. Cis, terbazir kalori gua baik amik the chicken filling je it was much better.'s only 915am and I'm already hungry. I took the breakfast at around 745. One and a half hour later I'm already hungry. What's wrong with you tummy? Bela hantu raya isssit? Trying my best to calm the hungry demon now. It's currently telling me to eat the lunch I packed. Lepastu lunch time suruh kuar lagi cari food. Stressnya.

Or could it be the hormones? I don't know really. Kalau dah gemok cemni kadang kau confused kau memang gemok semulajadi atau hormon yang tak stabil. Tapi biasanya kalau dah ada voices in the head segala it's more of a hormonal rush. There was one time I had A&W rootbeer 3 days in a row because of it. Eceyh takmau mengaku gemok semulajadi pula ni.


Other than that yesterday my ex primary schoolmate brought her 4 years old daughter to the clinic I worked with. After my so-called viral status she contacted me and voiced her concern..I told her to bring the daughter for a check up and she wanted to see me. So cut the story short I finally met her after....16 years of leaving primary school. It feels...surreal.and also I feel old. Kawan dah tahap ada anak gigi rosak pun kau masih stuck alone ni. Haha. ok sedih.

I slept early yesterday and this morning woke up to voice msg sent by Zara (my friend's daughter) saying "Thank you doctorr...I am better now" Awwww..cair hati mak nak pepagi dengar camtu. 

October 05, 2015


It was a gloomy past few days for me. It still is but I'm hoping for a reset soon.

To make things worse, Ireland displayed a pretty poor performance yesterday. I was biting my nail the whole 80+ minutes with occasional yelling and slamming the cushion like a cuckoo lady watching them playing Italy. It wasn't supposed to be that hard. The last time Italy beat us was around 2013. Since then we had a clean sheet against Italy so it shouldn't be that hard. But gotta admit the Italians were quite good yesterday. Having Sergio Parisse although not to the full time certainly injected some motivation boost to them.

Them boys need to buckle up and get their shit together before meeting the French next week. Quarter final already qualified and it's a matter of who we are playing against now. Finish 2nd in the group and we'll be facing the All Blacks so that's about it. Keeping my hopes high the luck will be at the Irish side and we'll take the group lead. Really hope Rob Kearney is fit to play again.


Other than that, hoping to find something that will fix my shitty mood. Dah lama sangat teringin nak karok ni. Yet to find someone to go with. Ingat nak huha dengan the girls this weekend pun turned out to be something I don't quite expect it to be....Takpelah apa boleh buat.

A reset. I need a reset. Hope things get better soon too.

P/S : Checked my so-called viral status and it had 46 shares. Lol. Greatest online achievement so far!

October 01, 2015

Tips-tips mengunjungi klinik gigi?

Close to 4pm yesterday, I attended to a patient who complained of pain over the left lower side of her mouth. During working, the time I am tired the most is around 11.30am and above and 3.30pm and above. Energy drained out. Pinggang dah start sakit. 

So upon examination I found out she has one tooth that needs to be filled. I proceeded to do so. Her mouth opening weren't too good. I know she could open wider when I asked her to do so but she kept on closing. So I had to say open your mouth wiiiiiide every 10 seconds. At one point during the procedure, it must have hurt a lit bit too more that she grabbed my hand while I was holding the handpiece (or famously known as the driller....) INSIDE her mouth. A slip of my hand could easily hurt her cheek. 

Fuh. Pet peeves people, my pet peeves when it comes to treating a patient. So please, please please don't grab our hand when we are operating, it puts YOU in danger not me. Hurting you accidentally is the last thing I would like to happen on that time of the day. 

That wasn't the first time. It happened a couple of times. So it inspired me to come out with the fb post to membebel sebab I dah penat petang tu and I don't have teman bebelan anymore, also with hope to educate my friends in FB. 

A while after I uploaded, my more famous fb friend shared my post so I think this is a good opportunity to educate more people so I made my post open to public. The post had almost 100likes so it's good to know people are reading. I logged on my facebook with a desktop this morning and was suprised to see the post was shared by 17 people, of which only 5 or so were in my friend list. Lain-lain semua friends of friends or even random people. 

Tak sangka bebelan kepenatanku turns out to be some sort of beneficial tips for others. Lol. I even had few messages in my inbox from my friends asking a few things about their oral health and all. Wah. Rugi I takde duit nak bukak klinik sendiri. Kalau tak dah boleh grab the opportunity dah. Keh.

So I thought I'd share with you people (if any) who came to my blog. Selalu post meroyan, sekali sekala belanja la benda berfaedah sikit innit?