April 30, 2008

Hilang momentum nak study

ada sapa-sapa nampak mana momentum saya pergi??????????????

April 29, 2008

Losing the sanity

I am so not myself today.

Was down with the biochem test. Tried to go on with the revision but failed :( I wanted to spend the money in the cafe for a therapy BUT due to the construction going on the College Road, bekalan air was cut down. Bengang bengang bengang. I tried to sleep off the resentment with my power nap strategy but again, it failed miserably.

Then Adilah came and inspired me to go to town. It was pouring down when I set off but I was so determined. Hopped on the bus and minutes later I realized I was, actually in town. Went to Zamzam to buy paratha and something convenient for exam's week. Went to Tesco. Bought things and took bus back to home.

Sekali balik-balik sedar-sedar 40euro abis. Huh...

But it's okay. at least I felt better now :)

Happy 1st Month Anniversary My Kaaakkkiii

It has been one month since the tragedy. It has been one month too since detik itu..Time flies so fast. I started from helpless-tak-bleh-mandi-sendiri-girl to a girl who can walk up the steep hill in UCC within 5 minutes (with crutch, of course) Bravo!! Bravo!!

My leg progress? I can bend...errr...75 degrees during yesterday's physiotherapy session. Ok lah tu kan. She puts me under some intensive exercises. Bet she must have sensed my laziness to exercise the leg! that I don't want to. I just don't have time. I spent my day nerding in library. Yesterday it was 9am to 9pm in library. Wake up in the morning. Took breakfast. Prepare my meals. Go to library. Nerding here and there. Mengelat here and there. Go back home. Tidied up my place then sleep. Sungguh bermakna bukan? I know, I know. I am surprised also with my ''achievement''. Library was so not my thang ok...

My biochem test? Disastrous. With a big D ok. I checked the answes from my notes straight away after the test and it all went...$%%^*&^(*%&^%$. Now let's just hope for the best.

Okayyhhh sepatutnya sekarang I should be all geared up for the finals. But because of the test, I had to pause sebentar. Nanti la after lunch sambung nerding balik.

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE....tak sabarnye nak abis exam. You know sometimes during revision, I have this tendency to go out of track. Visioning our plans after exam. Nak gi Belfast la. Nak gi Dublin la. Nak buat tu la. Nak buat ni la..OMG...sungguh tak focus okayh..

April 27, 2008

Severe homesick

Lo and behold my friends,

The HoMeSiCk virus is attacking again..

Stress + exam + homesick = disaster.

Like..seriously seriously, perlu ke nak datang sekarang?!?!??!?!

I browsed thru the pictures. Worrying will I be able to recognize their face anymore? (hehe..over sikit baru 9 bulan tak jumpe)

Bosan lah kan asyik cerita homesick je? hehehhe..

P/S : Duit JPA baru masuk semalam. Elaun buku + perkakas + sara hidup 3 months. Bleh la saye bajet untuk bayar sewa rumah + joli di Oz & Melesia + simpanan di masa hadapan. Yeayyyy..tenkiu Encik JPA me laff u muah muah~~

April 25, 2008


I know I know....nothing is easy...

I knowww....

But can it be less hard???

I usually refrained myself from saying this but I am slowly starting to detest the Material Science subject. I've been leaving the torturous world of Physics since 4 years ago, mind you and my brain is just too stubborn to accept the subject. Too many theories and terms. Arghhhh....rase nak terjun atas katil. Heheh..alasan!

I understand if they wanted us to appreciate materials used for dental fillings or for dentures but can they give comprehensible graphs/explanation instead of those complicated graphs...

Or else they just give us the pictures without explanation. (err...the lecturer did explained but I did not pay attention..but HEYYYYY...everyone did not understand what he said, so yeah, I am not alone okay). In our lengthy notes its either graphs or pictures of dentures..

Or amalgam fillings.

And that's all. Come 9 May they expect us to take the written test for 3 hours and come 13 May we are gonna be orally tested for those subjects. Oral test's for real..And it costs us freaking 50% okay...........

God, have mercy on me. Let me go through this smoothly, oh pretty pretty please?

Dam da da dee dam dam da da..I am so gonna dead...

April 24, 2008

Kakiku kaku kok kaku kaku kek

Hey I took off my brace finally!!!!!!!!!!!!

That black thing is no longer clinging onto my leg and made me look like someone who suffered from untut / elephantiasis when I wear pants. Went for my medical checkup with Wany today and met Kak Aina there. Mr PF asked me whether I want to take off the cast I said YESSSS!!!!!! Hell yes I've been waiting for this moment since the day I saw that thing. He asked me to lift my right leg and hasil training saya buat self physiotherapy (of course from the guide given by my physiotherapist) managed to lift my leg. Then he felt my knee and yup, my muscles are erm...hardened? Stiff? He asked me whether I wanted to wear the brace for another few days and I said No No No (gaya Amy Winehouse).

But the problem is now....I am still afraid to bend my knee. Not until I got clarification from my physiotherapist...eventho Mr PF said OK when I asked him whether I can bend my knee. We walked back from CUH to Castlewhite and I tried to bend my knee but the greatest angle I could pull was about 10degree sahaja. Not impressive at all. I tried to walk normal or at least to look normal but instead it looked awkward. Cisss....takpe2. Come next Monday I'm gonna go for my next physiotherapy session and give my all to bend my knee. Berrruuussaaaaaahhhhaaaaa...

But of course I am still doing my part. I massage my muscles to make it less stiff. Lifted my leg and tried to bend it when I sit. I am giving my bestest to make sure I can make a full recovery and hit the gym again. I am also dying to play futsal oh bebeyhhhh tak sabar nak balik Malaysia oh tanah airkuuuu...Aiseyh...lupe plak nak tanye Mr PF whether is it okay if I wear knee brace if I were to play sports again coz I'm prone to another dislocation. Any doctors / future doctors care to advice? Hee...
Motif gambar : Encik ini memakai knee brace.

Tomorrow is my last Biochem lecture oh finally. Then Friday I'm going to take my second Varicella injection. Monday I have physiotherapy. Tuesday is my Biochem continuous assessment. Then tup tup it's my final already. Tup tup lagi dah abes. Tup tup pindah umah. Tup tup dah kat atas flight. Tup tup...ehhhhh.......I'm home sweet home bebehh....

Ciss..but now, slap back into reality. Tap tap I'm still in my shared room with sore knee and piles of notes to be read. *sigh*

April 22, 2008

back to school

Tomorrow I am gonna attend my one of last 3 biochem lecture for the year. I dunno why but I'm as nervous as hell (ade ke gini?) and kept on worrying on things. Since I am gonna stay in Brookfield throughout the day, so I have to prepare myself.

What to wear. So I'll be comfortable and the cast don't go melorot.
What to bring. So I dun have to go here in there to get things.
What to eat. I have to prepare for my meals so I dun have to go to the cafe. Apeee nak bawak eh...huermphhh..

Haha..I felt like a seven years old kid going on the first day of the school.

Today I've been revising my Fundamental of Dental Practice subject. Seriously I don't know how my brain gonna digest this influx of info especially when this subject covers variety of topic under dentistry field. U think I just learn that 32 batang gigi in that tiny hole u call mouth but oh Lord, I feel like throwing up already. Tu lah last minute nak sumbat segala benda.

Hope tomorrow my leg is going to behave just fine. Lame nak duduk nih tau...

this is my study area on the bed. pile of papers. table lamp yg menjadi supplement kepada wall lamp yang romantik ini. laptop yg cuba dicampak sejauh mungkin tapi selang 5 minit akan ditarik semula kedalam dakapan. soft toy eiffel tower yg digunakan utk mengsupport tulang belakang yg sakit. heh

p/s : our future house can be found in Google. Now tell me how cool is that?!?!?!!?! Hahahahahahahaha...ceh.

April 21, 2008


This morning I received a testimonial from my childhood friend :

  • a ShAiNa
  • Posted 04/21/2008 6:42 am
  • adekah ini nazira yg suatu ketika dahulu suke membuli daku??

And pangg...old memory floats back. I used to be a small bully back when I was small. It was like this, my abang bullied me, so I channeled the anger to bully somebody. Hahahaha....mari mari salahkan orang laen. I used to be so naughty. Main longkang. Buli orang.

I remembered one time me & Edmund (my neighbour depan umah) used sweets to lure the pity girl into the gabbage bin. Not the bin itself but the place where we put the bin. Yg pintu kecik tu kan, lepas tu kunci dier dalam tu. Hahahaha....I don't really remember whether our attempt was a success or not but I clearly remember that plan. Rase-rase cam berjaya je..

Then I remembered our neighbour, apek. He loves to give self-made ice cweam. Tatau la ape dier letak tapi kiteorang layannn jer. Pastu apek suke cite macam-macam.

Oh karma...hopefully my future child won't be bullied.


My 1st ever cooking after the tragedy. But of course most of them are done by Wany. I did the begedil only. My legs are behaving fine except I can't really stand that long. Dulu masak nasi kerabu I could stand few hours (coz when I cook I dun like to sit).. This soto would be our next few meals la kan (ye ke?)

And today we finally settled the house matter. It sure damn nervewracking. But we've learned from lesson how competitive houses in Cork and how scary the prices could be are so we couldn't really be that fussy. We just don't want to bug our mind with this house problem. Plus lesson learned from the past. I don't want to talk about that again. Setiap perkara pasti ada hikmahnya. Cliche cliche.

The house is BIG. The location is STRATEGIC. And the price is oh.....I don't know how to express. Cukuplah untuk membuat kami runsing pusing-pusing memikirkannya. But we'll figure out ways to cope with the costs. Pepandai lah kami nanti. Mengemis ke..hheheeh takdelah. Our landlord is so nice. This is the 1st time he deals with students so he doesn't really know our needs. We demanded for study table, bigger wardrobe and all and luckily he's fine with that. Thank u Mr EK yang cool dan banyak bercakap. But next year definitely need to lessen the travelling and shopping expenses. Tralalala...

Now that every other things are settled, I just need to focus on my studies, SEPATUTNYE LAH KAN. But I seriously can't wait to get away from Castlewhite. Eeeee......tak sabarnyeeeeeeeee...My own room. My longed privacy. OMG excitednye!!! 4 of the rooms are ensuite but I think we have to be careful to minimize the ESB and gas costs. Mr EK let us to move in by the end of May. Heeeee.....KETIDAKSABARAN MELANDA BERTUBI-TUBI.

When everything is really confirmed and settled, I would introduce our dearie new home yg beralamat serta bernama pelik itu.

Back to the reality. hoo yeah~

April 20, 2008

Tiada tajuk

Tak clear plak. Cis..
Honestly, if I were given choice, I would ask for another one month to prepare for the exam. Biarlah balik lambat sikit pun takpe. hwaa.. X_X

Alamak Kak Saadah tak kasi kecoh.but..this story is just too bloggable to resist.huu...sori Kak Saadah.. But frankly speaking, I AM SO THE VERY MALU weyyhh...besar okay...Never thought it would come out in UCC's mini magazine-An Sceal. I don't even know the existence of the magazine ok. Tetibe terpampang muke bebesar. Waaaa.....Insaf already. Next time around I would try my best to avoid any outsider photographer! (bajet glamer gils)

Last but not least, Ya Rahman, whatever decision we took, we hope that it would be the best for us. We might be confused and uncertain, but please do guide us Ya Rahim. It's a hard decision. And we've thought any possibilities and difficulties we might encounter. We weighed the pros and cons. And we have decided. Oh...nervousnye saye (dan kami, mungkin) Pening serabut kelibut telipot kepala otak yang sememangnya dah ribut ni. Hope everything would go okay.


April 18, 2008


Today I went to CUH for physiotherapy. Thought it'll take so long but since the doctor hasn't removed my cast, so nothing much can be done. She taught me some simple exercises to train my quad and some knee muscles (ok giler tak precise tapi sukati la). Just some simple kembang kecut exercise saje..My 2 escorts siap dah gi library CUH worrying it'll take long tapi tak sempat nak duduk dah siap. Sorry la Nida and Alya eh. Ni la tak suke being handicapped ni...banyak susahkan orang :(

I have food for lunch today. Heee.... Just now I went into the kitchen to check up my things. Adela roti-roti nan I bought weeks ago and Brahims. Bleh la idup..

I walked back from CUH to Castlewhite. Hehe..What an achievement! Just wanted to try things. It was all fine except the fact that my cast dah melorot (perkataan Jawa kot ni) so sedikit cacat. And I met Frank on the way. Frank is my Botswana classmates. We foreign students tend to be closer since the rest are..erm...whatever je la kan. As always, he called me SAFFIAN instead of Nad or Nazira like others do. Ciss...bape kali dah cakap takmo dengar. He's on the way to library to study Biochem...OMG cuak gler...He said he didn't go anywhere, been slaving himself to the Biochem books sahaja. A total opposite of me. Anyway he knew about my injury. Pasal netball smua tau. Sapetah btau...heh...malu i~~

This evening the girls are going house haunting. Frankly speaking after what had happened I've lost hope already. Hope everything would be okay. Serabut giler kepala otak ok..

Been listening to David Cook's Always Be My Baby since yesterday. Ohh...I'm totally crazy over the song. I'll upload it in imeem and put up in my blog later. Biar smua dengar sampai telinga berdarah. Heee...

April 17, 2008


Currently unstable. ngeh.


2 minggu jalan-jalan...mak saye yang pakaikan stokin kanan ngan kasut. Now that I have to stand on my own feet, I have to find ways of wearing sock on my own. Struggle-struggle 5 mins, walla...bolehla tahan...sebak pulak rase. hehehehe...emo~

I am currently repositioning my studying area to fit my unfit leg. Lenguh la study kat meja bile the leg is left hanging gittew. SO I'm studying on my bed. Phuhh...harap-haraplah boleh. I used to study on the bed during my SPM days and IB days. Should be okay I guess. Cuma kena menghadap view yang very the unpleasant sahajalah. Cobaan...

Since I'm staying with people from Iceland, I had to wear extra clothing in my own room. Benci bukan? Plus I'm having fever + runny nose at the moment. Demam tension..heh..

Medical bill settled. Queries on claim pon dah hantar kat En Jamal. Waiting for the reply. Appointment for 2nd varicella jap pon dah buat. Terbang lagi 40eu lah gamaknye..Printing dah pass kat Adilah. Now I am left with some money to be banked in. Tatau bile nak panjat bukit tu gi bank....Maybe I'm gonna do it next week sekali arung gi amik varicella jap.

Today I'm fasting (insyaAllah). Food pun takde. Nak keluar pun susah. Kitchen like hell with occupied devils. So might as well fast. Bleh la shed off fat yang dikumpul the last 2 weeks...hee...

Yada yada bla bla...complaint je keje. Study tak lagi!

Lowest point

The reasons I don't wanna go back to Cork :

  • Balik bilik. Berselerak. Kotor. Keadaan membencikan. Just another one and half month to go Nadz..
  • Exams. In less than 3 weeks oh damn it............How am I gonna sort things out
  • Leftover classes. Nak jalan kesana sini with this condition. I don't have problem walking on a straight road but to walk to Brookfield, I had to climb over 1 steep hill..which is very hard for me.
  • Bank and bills settlement. Money to bank in. Medical bill and claim to be made
  • Future house. Umah idaman sudah diambil oleh orang yg should understand how badly we need the house that can accomodate 6 ppl. huermm...itulah realiti kehidupan yang sedikit kejam *sigh*
  • Medical checkups and physiotherapy sessions. Jauh nak gi CUH...taxy lagi..itu lagi..ini lagi..
  • The responsibilities. With exams approaching and also urusan sambutan pelajar baru and things.
I don't wanna blame my leg. I don't wanna blame my fate. But I just want to let it out. At this point, I think I am at my weakest position. Physically I may look all happy and all giddy up but truth be told, I think I just wanted to give up and run away. Everything seem so hard and goes against me...

But I have faith in Him that everything destined for me, happened for good reasons. I'll try my best to hold onto that to keep me going to the other end. I don't want to lose my sanity..

I am not giving up. I am just struggling to gain my self confidence back. It will take time, but I'll promise not to let down of myself. Never!

O Allah. Make easy, and do not make difficult :|

April 16, 2008

Tanak balek Cork

Mak at Gare Du Nord
Yesterday we finally went to Bruxelles' town - the Grand Place. The place was again, filled with typical ancient Europe buildings with complicated architectures and monuments. We shopped for the last minute souvenirs and momentos for our trip.

Belgium is famous for its lace art. Disebabkan saya tiada bermampu untuk membeli kain-kain lace yang vogue the vast ittew, maka inilah hanya yang mampu saya beli. Secoet pon jaaaadilaah...

Interior house of my aunty's. Oh sangat cantek dan bebebeeesarr..

Grand Place. With extra tourist yesterday cos of some royal events..

Mom and Mak Semah at Backyard of her house. Again, sangat bebebebesar. Dayah, Cork Games agak2 tak de tempat, sini nak buat 2 padang pon boleh!!!

Souvenirs from the 3 places. Some for me some for the friends. I remembered puan Syazwani Md Sith ittew suka shell chocs ni so I got this for the girlfwens. And the small cushion is bought because of another Belgic famous tappestry. Struggle gile sumbat-sumbat okayh. My beg is overweight already. Donno what's gonna happen at the airport later...
Mak's flight to Amsterdam is at 8.10am and mine is at 10.10am. To not complicate things, I'll be following Mak early in the morning and menjadi penunggu sehingga lah masa saya on board. Then my flight from Dublin to Cork it at 1.30pm. That explains why I was posting this on 5am in the morning...
A heartiest gratitude goes to Mak Semah, Uncle Deeb and Amalin for the warmth hospitality and for being the greatest host of all. Ohhhh saya rase saya naik 10kg kerana diberi makan oleh Mak Semah dengan banyaknya. Kueytiow udang - done. Ikan (kat Cork SANGAT JARANG makan ikan) - done. Nasi kerabu - done. Nasi goreng bukan gune perencah - done. Ohhh sangat heaven. And I realized that I haven't been cooking for nearly a month already. Danggg...
And to Mak, safe flight and till we meet again in 3rd of June. Thanks and sorry banyak-banyak for the hasle and for not being fit enough to walk around banyak-banyak..
Hwaaaa.....tak mau balek Corkkoooooorrrroooooooooooooooooo.......

Been there. Done that!

April 15, 2008


Here are the pictures of my holiday..When I look back..oh sememangnya saya harus kembali menjejaki Paris...I was so not in mood for pictures hence explaining the lack of photos..

I am almost definitely not going to return to Switzerland. Cukuplah hanya sekali. Anyway I realised that attraction of Europe countries, from the point of view of someone who doesnt really give a damn about the historical values are the preserved bulding. If you look around at almost all of the countries, the ancient buildings are the dominants, unlike Malaysia who would go demolish everything and replace it with something we claim modernized. But for the sake of menjejakkan kaki ke smua negara...well...ok lah...

To see Malaysia becoming as tourist friendly as them...huerm...I doubt. Here in Europe, the public transport are very efficient and the map are fixed. You look back to 5-10 years ago the roads and landmarks are all the same but in Malaysia, in 5 years time you could see a lot of changes. But of course, people like me would definitely be rooting for Malaysia coz I appreciate the natural element like beaches and see a lot more than the static buildings who didnt meant anything to me..hee...

Next places up on the list - Paris to be revisited. Madrid & Barcelona, Italy and Czech Republic to meet CheNad and Ila. Lain-lain tempat belum terfikir lagi. Would love to visit Turki, Croatia, Morocco smua2 tu..

Me without crutches dan hidden oversized leg
The best view I could get. Tu la orang handicapped tokleh nak senget2 ke baring2 ke..terpaksa shoot dari jauh jee..
A dream come true- Eiffel

Eiffel - different angle

Eiffel - tatau ape dah caption

Weird drawing in Paris. Near Champ de Elysees.

Peminat Pink, boleh lah reconsider *note to self jugak. hahaha*

At Geneva. My mom takmo gi dekat2 tempat ni..cisss..shoot dari jauh sahaja

Swatch...heee..tgh pilih antara dua. Guess which one I took. Sape teka betul bleh dapat souvenir. lalala...

Snow raining in Geneva. Brrr....


Hotel kat geneva ade petunjuk arah kiblat. *kagum* kat Genting Highland pon tarak tau..

Ships In Geneva

April 13, 2008



By the way.....voila..Am in Paris..

Picture tiada lah maaf...I am using hotel's internet..

Yesterday we went to Champ de Elysees. One stretch of road...heaven for loaded shopaholics. Smua segala macam butik ade..Duit je yang takde...hehehehe..

Today..we visited the must-go places around Parisss...and of course; EIFFEL TOWER- another dream came true :)

But I definitely gonna be revisiting Paris. Susah ah pegi handicapped nehhh....Nak pose senget benget smua toklehhh.....



April 11, 2008

Geneva Airport

I^m leaving Swityerland in less than 60 minutes. In a nutshell, Switzerland tidaklah seindah yang disangka...bosan seriouslyy..

And I would like to declare EasyJet airline as one of the most inconsiderate airline, as far as I^m concerned la kan...Airport Bruxelles sucks too..

Am leaving to Paris jap lagi...gune wireless airport neh..keyboard france sangat aneh okay...


April 06, 2008

Antwerp, Belgium

Went to Antwerp, Belgium yesterday. Took train from Krainem to Central Station and to Antwerp. It's a nice place. Nice shopping place to be exact. Soon after we arrrived had lunch at Hector, a halal KFC-like + Kenny Roger's-like restaurant. The food was kinda nice. Terubat rindu nk makan those food..Antwerp is also a diamond city. Sangat banyak and cantik but if u don't have at least thousand euro don't even think about it la kan...huu...

There are some familiar shops including H&M, Sports World, etc etc and also Greggs! I learned eating Greggs when I was in UK. The vegetarian pie is so nice. But since I'm in Belgium and the attraction is waffle so I went for the waffles instead of Greggs. Had 3 waffles yesterday! A plain one, with ice-cweam and with choc. By far the tastiest is the ice cream one. But I have not yet to taste the TRUE Brussels waffles..Haven't even went around the Brussels city yet....

Well mom is out to the market in Brussels but I didn't tag along as my leg is in bad state. Not quite sure how am I going to tour around Swiss & Paris since I think my leg is showing signs of protesting..and the pain had gone to the left leg coz I relied a lot on left leg yesterday when my right one is not strong enough.

I even bought a new flight ticket to go back to Cork. Initially my plan was to take train from Bruxelles to Amsterdam as my ticket is a direct flight from Amsterdam to Cork. But looking at my condition, mom asked me to buy a flight ticket from Brux to Amsterdam since I'll be facing lot of hassle bringing my stuff if I were to travel alone by train. Unfortunately the cheapest tix from Brux to Amsterdam is 300euro. Cehhh..baik gwe beli diamond ring dari tiket tu..So I'll be going thru the same route I took here. Brux-Dublin-Cork. Costed me about 75euro. Burnt my 65 euro ticket from Amsterdam to Cork. Haih....takpelah....nak buat camne kan....And I am definitely going to request for special assistance again. Lalala...takpelah naik wheelchair pon...tiada perlu lah saya berjalan-jalan...Lalala...

April 05, 2008

Brugge, Belgium

Brugge, Belgium Reunited. hehhehehe..

Still wearing a pant eventho my leg is casted. Gigih tak gigih la kan...but the crutch mencacatkan keadaan...cisss

Yummy waffles


Boat ride around Brugge. I hit my leg when I stepped into the boat. It hurted like helllllll okayhh...Hopefully everything is fine :(

Sadly to say people, eventho I am currently on holiday , I just received the most painful news I ever heard. One of the painful since 2004.....Hopefully this holiday could take away this pain out from me. I don't want to go back to Cork :(

Like she said, maybe Allah has a better plan for me. Fine. I'll just live with that..