April 29, 2006


Men are cruelly-rapacious-makhluk-yang mangkuk ever lived in this whole wide world

Quoting my mentor's advice, "biar je beruk2 tuh..skang pikir study je.. :)
Aiyai mr.mentor..I'll try my best..They really burdened me with their monkey business n I think I had it enuff..

One thing bout men that is so not fair..They can have their girlfwens n best-girl-fwens in the same time and they can choose which one to be eliminated and which one to be kept.And in the same time they can dream of another girl too! Woh..seriously what a beast!

I'm struggling to survive now.But I'll do my best.Having to know that I do really have my lovely fwens by my side, I'll strengthen myself.But I just want to higlight my greatest regrets of knowing them n letting them to have a part in my life.Seriously shitty shitty pie me dont likey!


Menci la saket mate ini..Gue asyik menghitung detik nak letak obattt...nanti puan dokter garang marahhhhhhhhhhh...

=) =) =) =) =) =)

Let's move on to the new me, InsyaAllah..

it's the end

April 28, 2006


I went to hospital mata tun hussein onn today. Erm..I'm cool.My eyes just suffer from some irritation. This is my first experience. Thanks to Z n Fuzah or else i dun know how wud I survive being alone n blind. Haih..The hospital really made money la i guess. I bought a tiny winy simple contact lens case n it costed RM8..wahlaweiii...The usual case is only RM2 the solution maybe 2.50 or they even give the solution for free! Huh..I was charged RM10 for the registration, n RM45 for the consultation! Hohohohoh..that is a lot u know. One person costs RM45 X, one day is +/- 20-30 person = RM1000++ per month RM30000++ n that is for only one doctor..perghhh...My medicine costs RM48 for one tiny bottle of antibiotic and a complete set of i-dunno-what eye drops that I have to drop it once in 4hours..waduh2...

Enuff with money stuff I move on to the way they treat the patients. The nurse was so garang..I cudnt remember her face coz I was too blind to see her face clearly..She even doubted my un-blindness coz I cudnt read the letters on the power is 500++ so how wud u expect me to read those words without the aid of my spectacles?? Then mrs doc was under pressure coz they was some confusion in the patients list n I was the innocent one! she didnt use the apropriate tone that a usual doc use! Siulllllzzzz...

N yet I have to go for a follow up next week..Uwaa...have to skip class coz it's on Tuesday..Cant change the appointment coz the doc have this wutever surgery on Wed.Thinking of not going, but for the sake of my precious eyes...have it's another RM45 ++ wutever the fish they want to charge me! I was told not to put on my contacts but after I stepped out from the hosp I cudnt wait any longer to get my clear view back! Ngehehehe..have to..or else who'll be driving??

Went to Mid Val after the terrible 2 hours in the eye hosp.. I dun know that many Malaysian really have probs with their eyes! Ohohoho..wut an ignorance I am..At first I thought of going back but alang2...Ngehehehe..Went to search for a gift for my anonymous fwen.I got something that is so nice n simple n themost important cheap! Ngehahaha..It costed me only RM5 ya know..N yet I like the thing so much! A football-shape handphone holder! N i bought it at Memory Lane! Agagagaga..

Last nite I sent a friend-ish (or isit fwenly?) sms instead of a hatred-long-letter to !@$#%#%$ And he didnt reply! Fish la wey..Now to hell u go!

I really have something in my mind bout Malaysian artist, especially female. The way they dress are no longer reflecting a Malaysian! Instead, they look like a Hollywood poser n yucky me dont likey! Especially when they go for any award-giving function. Expose here n there n oh My tak seswaaiii..

Malaysia oh Malaysia..One day, the title ketimuran wud completely fade away...The artists, the profesionals..all of them also, so not ketimuran!

OK Nuff crap..tata

April 27, 2006


Weee =)

At home now. This morning went to clinic n got 2 days MC..uhuhuhuh..tq Dr Fuziah!!

Dear..have I warned u never come near to me?? Agagaga..mangkuk tul..cair seyh dgr suara hang...ktuk pale kang...

Wut I want to do now..

My current feeling...

I need sumbody to..

I really miss my...

I think I need to see...

My heart...

I wish i am..

Last but not least..

bawalah daku pergi...dari gelisah ini...bawalah daku pergi..dari sepi hati ini
wa wa wa

At first i wrote a letter to be given to him.But then after consulting a few frens, i took back the letter. Should I or should I not give him?? I've still got time, anyway
I just want to end the pain.Or else I'll keep on topping up my hateness towards him.

Oh left eye is very...reddish! Tahapekenatah..It's a very very terik matahari dikala tengahari n my sensitive eyes are exposed to the hazardous sunlight..agagagaga..

2weeks before the tough be good.

April 23, 2006

You gaze, at the stars in the sky
At the mountains so high
Through the tears in your eyes.

Looking for a reason,
to replace what is gone.
Just remember, remember
That you are never alone.

You are never alone (you are never alone)
Just reach into your heart
And Allah is always there.
You are never alone (you are never alone)
Through sorrow and through grief
Through happiness and peace
You are never alone.

So now as you long for your past
Prepare for your future
But knowing nothings going to last
You see this life is but a road
A straight and narrow path
To our final abode

So travel well O Muslim
And Paradise will be your home
And always remember
That you are never alone.

You are never alone (you are never alone)
Just reach into your heart
And Allah is always there.
You are never alone (Allah is there)
Through sorrow and through grief
Through happiness and peace
You are never alone

April 22, 2006


ah well..i'm home sweet home~~

Erms..Went to accompany mommy finding the bedset for me bro.U know, she's alone now at home weekdays.I'm so sedeyh for her..Bro is staying at kl.Nearer to klcc i guess.After this mom said that he's goin to be sent elsewhere off shore..aiyooh...bro..take care..

Well for the CAS exhibition, my beloved club taska sayangku won the board n the most active club title!!! (= (= I'm so delighted la bebeyh coz i've put so much efforts on the board. Despite the hecticness n the tension-ness, i troubled myself doink the reports n stuff just to make sure the board wud look OK. Alhamdulillah we won..Tho this club didnt really give me enough CAS hours (a total of 27hrs only after 2 sem..pfft..that's so...sikit) but the experience is worthless. I've really brushen up my parenting skills *sigh* n I really enjoying being around with those lil kiddos muchos muchos..Ah..U know how much I adore lil kids.. (= (=

the abanggss n the adiksss n the kakaksss n the mommy!

the winning board *pFFt*

iklan iklan..drama swasta ~~

Me : Ila..nnt kite gi kiosk tau kalau C ade..
Ila : ... (tak smpat nak kate pape)
Szf : Nad Nad..mlm ni makan kek lpas ceramah tau
(Szf is walking with his fwens..n guess wut.. C is there!!)
Me : Haa..?? Mlm ni ade ceramah??
waits for Szf..aagagagaga saje jer~~
Szf : Mlm ni..makan kek pas ceramah..
C : Nad..kasi ar sket kek..
Me : *pFFt* maner taska nyer tau..
*pFFt* gler..haha gler..hahaha gler~~

Well so many things to be done n yet i havent startedd anything. Feel like going out sangat2 but u know..after the conflicts n stuff..i was really traumatized by that thingy. Coz I'm so gonna burst out due to the pressure that I'm having now n I got seriously easily pissed off if ppl let me down. So I'd better stay out of the way. Neway..gonna ask my muchos bestfwen fuzah out tomorrow..Go la anywhere i dun mind as long as i got to drive n i have fwen besides me.That wud be enuff.That's all that i need..Love ya muchos! She's the only one available with no reason of asking her out, no need to add more ppl,no nothing..but that IF N ONLY IF she doesnt have date with lan la..That's the limitation.. )=

Well..I've lost interest in organizing reunion. Dunno y..but I really want to meet up my dearie batchmate.But I'm in the mid of many many things aite now.Buts n more buts.....N who's gonna take the responsibility? Haha..with that..DREAM ON la bebeh..this reuni is so not gonna b happen.. )= )= )=

Ermz..sumbody is turning to be a bit flirty la recently..Oh my..Dear..I warn u never ever come nearer coz I'm harmful n I bite! agagagga..No la..I dun want anybody to leave scars on me anymore. I had it enuff. (psst..I save the flirty YM we've had just now =P )

My dear fwen, raje called me from christchurch just now. Ah..I wanna go to NZ..take me away Raje!! seems quite hard to him. No malaysians nor muslims in his hall.N lost his momentum to study after monthss of cuti2.Be tough my bro..I know u can do it..He's my so-called mentor, so if he's giving up..what's going to happen to his protege? I pray for ur success n ur strength la bro..~

What's more to say? IB's killing me. Erm..

O Allah, give me strength, give me shine give me hope. Give me the smile so I cud live my day happily. Give me the strength to settle all my problems.
O Allah, give my mommy strength too. Save her from any difficulties. Save her from any bad things.
O Allah, give my bro strength with his new job. Save him from any danger.
O Allah, give my friends strength to continue their studies. Pls keep our heart together.

April 19, 2006


dah ok ke?
dah ke??
sbb cam the true event is not thoroughly revealed
but stay cool je laa

proposal pending...i'm sniffing rejection..shyyttt

pastu presentation incest cam nothing..

arghh....comel.. come n save me.. =) =)

if only we cud fly together up up in d sky..if n only if..
take me away....

Lesson 97 in life : Stay cool.Whatever whenever.Just cooLLL.

Lesson 98 is still applicable.Sbb hati saye masih kekurangan satu ruang kosong yg ditinggalkan oleh makhluk asing berjerawat batu yg sangat jahat.Kalau jumpe dier lari..nanti berjangkit
ah well..again this post is specially dedicated to goes

Should i give reasons or reason will always remain as reason? I'm admitting my mistake of talking really badly n hurt u..thousand trillion n zillion apologizes.

Am I giving up? NO, i supposed. It just a matter of being pressured and the environment is too saddening.

The most thing I'm afraid of in this world is being left alone.Tho I've been left alone all this while but the thing is I really hate it.

N when the moment I need someone badly..I've been left alone.

I'm so sorry.I've been acting totally bullshit.This is how I behave with people that I'm close with.Seriously.My expectations for u is too high n that makes me feel very sad when it is not met.Sorry sorry sorry

I'm so selfish.I'm paranoiac that I think badly bout u.Sorry.

Right now I'd better step out from everyone's life coz i'm just too selfish to live in this world..

Sorry frens..
No more disturbance
No more my-bugging-calls
No more
sorry seems to be the hardest word

but all i can say is


like my blog is separating me n my fwens

it's just me myself n my emo-self


April 14, 2006









the untitled

Home Sweet Home..n guess wut..I saw sumthing on top of the curtain just under the roof that I shud say an air-cond in my room? WahLao..Mak..Thanx a gazillion. Never asked for it tho. Felt guilty of kept on sucking ur bucks. I think enuff la for now, mommy. U've done much..Wayyyy too much..

Well,home finally. I miss my room so much!! I miss megi goreng so much!! N my kerinduan is healed rite now..Merci mommy for picking me up at Banting!! Despite the demanding workloads screaming for my attention, I ranaway from that so-called world school to my heavenly world! I'll be entertaining all those bugging workloads tomorrow, so just wait. All the same, I'm still in dilemma on when shud I return to the world school?? Morning? Evening? Sunday? )= Hell no la..Our marketing planning is still pending. My english assignment is still pending.
*n yet I'm still planning on watching Gubra tomorrow..*pFFt*


fwenship ends and can never remain!

Bluey duey huey luey suey!!!!!!!

Last Wednesday our PDK-Kajang-super-sinner members held a cocktail selling. Erms..I didnt help much for the preparation. Had to attend the taska meeting..WowwWeeee..teacher sorta praised me for having the feeling of worry bout the kids n stuff..n clap clap...I'm one of the kakak who's being sebut2 by my adek2...*pFFt* Thanx lovely sis n bros..I owe u banyak2!! I'll put many many of ur photos kat cas exhibition nnt ek!!

Ermss..back to the selling cocktail story..due to the lack of the sauce of the cocktail we had to drag the selling time till nite..I saw comel n prays hard that he wud stopby at our so-called-kedai..Ngehehehehe..Then we were stranded for an hour ++..With the help of bapak..Promoting to here n there..He has a wide social network! N at last..during the eleventh hour..I saw a comel creature walking..Then ...

Me : K..K...mai la beli..A..beli la skali
They walked towards me
K : Apa yg korang juai ni?
Me : Cocktail..beli untuk pdk kajang.
Someone snyum2..comelnye...tumbuk bleh tak? =P
Me : Beli la..kongsi2 pun takpe.A beli la..
Then K bought...with xtra spoons..btul2 hang nak kongsi..??
A : Eh eh..hangpa kena kacau dak ngan dak2 Malau..bla bla bla..bla..
Me : A'a,,bla bla bla
K : Hoi A..cpat la sket..
A : Sat la..nak dating sat

wahahaha...skian drama swasta..I was so happy but the feeling of super duper worry bout the banseki thingy has displaced my happiness..Haih..

Then yesterday we had the petanque thingy..Sadly we lost to his clas..haih..

I didnt go to the Banseki.Just feel like not going.. )= here goes my worthless experience...


here's sumthing major again n again..Lately I've been bugging bout ppl asking me bout how peja's doing n stuff..Of course la I became angry because I dun know!?!? Since when i agreed to be his pacifier ke nanny ke ape..Ask him urself la dumbo! Then last nite..the bijak geliga Nabun texted Peja bout kawan balek la..then contact me laaaa..stupid stuff who drag my ego down n I feel like terhegeh2 sangat...shYyyttttt

N the result feeling worsened!


If he's serious he wud call me last nite
If he's serious he wont reply camtu
Hence..he's not serious n he shud step out of my life

Benci benci benci

Then my laptop is infected by Brontok.Bagus sgt la tu..Sueyyyy

April 12, 2006

my inferiority complex better mood rite now..No disturbance..Just me alone..Feel better~~

Well well's the more complete version of my Amal Islami

After several long years of not doing any rough physical activity, I strengthened myself to just go for the nitewalk. I know it wud go haywire. I know it would be a scarry nitemare so I started the nitewalk with millions n zillions of negative thoughts..and the result inferiority complex worsened! I feel I have troubled other ppl...I feel ppl are annoyed with me n my-bloody-slow-self..N's all about other ppl..As for myself..I think I've pushed myself harder. Before this I cudnt imagine that a tiny winy rope cud push myself upward..I thought it wud putus I thought the roots of the plants wud crack if I step on it..Wah pathetic me!Thank u Allah..for creating so many helpful things around us n yet..we r not being thankful to U

The next day, went jungle trekking..Before that we had this obstacles..Yg merangkak2 cam tentera! Me likey! Then to climb wall with the aid of someone's hand n shoulder..thank u very much Aliyah!!! I thought I cudnt make it..I even thought of escaping it..Thanx Aliyah..Merci...Gracias...Syukran!!!!! N as the pakcik said that I cud handle 10 more ppl to step on my hand n shoulder, I aided my fwens..Sakitnye Tuhan aje yg tahu...Even them with lightweight make my shoulder ache wut about me?? Haih..thanx Aliyah.....!!!! I cried coz my shoulder is aching like hell but had to swollen the pain as we were heading for jungle trekking right after the obstacle..I had to kill the pain myself..Cudnt grab anything tightly..Cam sakit gler tak tahan gue. N i had to go slow for the jungle trekking coz firstly I'm traumatized by the nitewalk's experience n secondly each time I tried to push or pull something the whole hand was like screaming of pain...Thanx to Madihah n Aliyah for being there for me n not leaving me though I knew that they were really annoyed..ngehehehe..sori banget..

All in all...Amal Islami is a great experience of testing one's patience! Seriously! The result is guaranteed la bebeh~~


Yesterday (Tuesday), we had our first petanque match against the M05J boys..n the result is we won!!! ngehahaahahha..we won!! I am sOoOoOoooo happy~~ It's worthy la I had to swollen panadol to kill the pain n put this minyak angin all over my body..ngeh ngeh ngeh...It was a tough competition!! =) =) We had a psycological war..n we won too... =) =)

Will b going for Banseki camp this week..Tougher n rougher, I guess..Paiseyh...I cud feel that I'm going to burden everyone againnnnn n agaiinnnn...Menci menci menci~~

April 10, 2006


Classmate gue~

I've just got back from my hella bella freakin tired saket gler amal islami~~

Uwaa...saye rindu blog saye sangat2.....Wireless connection jahat!!

Back to my storiess..

last week's stories
Oh dunno why...I've been contacted by my fellow frens..including someone! I am quite surprised.Y the hell those lost-contacters suddenly msging me n stuff...

AmySyahFaiz : Nad..gue rindu same kamu..bile mau berjoli2..nak pluk..

**Deep inside my heart-wahlao amy..blekah kte pernah berjoli2 ria..Do u mean in clasS?? pfFtt~

SaffuanSmailKasim : Woit..blagak gler
**Deep inside my heart - reality check : Is it me or is it u??

Someone : Hey..I've just listened to the cd yg u kasi la..bla bla bla yada yada..
**Big question - wahlao..b4 this kan i refused to confess I was the one who gave him cd..rite now I agreed plak..

Enough of those ppl stories..Now the amal islami part plak :

We went to Impian Country Resort, Ulu Langat.The place is quite OK.Not bad..but the physical activites are..hella bella freakin penat!!! The nitewalk was horrible..I cud see nothing...Simply grab anything including the thorned-plants..sakit gler tangan gue..Rite now I'm kinda suffering for sengal2 n lebam2...tensionnnnn jer..Nak angkat tangan susah..My butt is aching....WahLao...sedeyh gler =(

EH...suddenly lost words...I'll b back..tata

April 03, 2006

another week..

OhmiGod..We've just discussed about the superheros of our childhood (Ultraman,Gaban,Masked Rider,Power Rangers,Captain Planet) and suddenly I got really excited and do this weirdo action and suddenly..came this my dear Mr Fadzlanor Chemistry teacher...

I am sOoOoOOoOooOOooooo embarrasseddd....


Nothing much happened past days. I'm kinda disinterested to blog but here I am once again *sigh*. Went for the Putrajaya Trip with the lil kiddos of Playschool Sayangku. The supposedly "Sabtu yang Seronok" turned out to be Sabtu yang Penat Gila!! =) I took care of Izzat, the 3-year-old lil kiddos whose languange I totally dont understand. So it was like quacking n kokoking n yada yada bla bla..

I went back quickly to home after the trip. My bro picked me up. Then took a rest..went out wif Fuzah to Pyramid. Wondered around.....N I wanted to try ice-skating!!!! Fuzah was kinda scared hahaha...I was too..tapi saja buat2 takut...

Still still missing my girlfwenssss...There're sum reply on the reunion...Good feedback I guess..So better think sumthing now...

Ok la..