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May 25, 2014

Obsolete?

Has blogging gone obsolete these days? This past few days I have lots and lots of voices inside of my head going around. A lot of things to be shared about. A lot of things to say..but sadly I can't quite find someone to share this with, and then I remember I had you, mi blog. I don't think I have that much of a reader no more, except you are here to stalk me then yes, you'd better be keeping your eyes wide open on my blog after this ha di ha ha perasan la kau sape nak stalk...


"Human most powerful power is...HOPE" - Charles Xavier aka Professor X


That very sentence startled me upon hearing it. I gives me hope, but at the same time it tears me apart from the inside as well. Let me tell you what have been bothering me this while..

I have a companion whom I spent time with, a lot since the past few months. I enjoy the company, having someone to share your worries, your joy, your tears. I was aware that it was not mine to begin with but the happiness I gain with the company overshadowed the fact that eventually, it is not mine.

We spent lots of time together. Went through silly adventures. Had loads and loads of silly fights. It almost came to the point that we kinda know each other inside out. Sometimes we finish each other sentences. Sometimes we know how the other will react to things.

Our dynamics create a quite complicated relationship. Reason being the company already had someone else in his life to end up with soon but here I am with my countless failure of trying to dodge the feelings getting deeper for him. Despite putting my bad behaviours in front of him to make him mad, I still cannot go too far away from him.

As time goes by, it gets nearer to the day he will no longer be available to accompany me getting my cravings for A&W satisfied, goes shopping for Krabi or even watch my favourite movie, Xmen. The thought of it is enough to hurts my brain and my heart. I cannot quite imagine seeing it actually happen in front of me.

All I can do now is to hope. A little hope for a miracle. But a bigger one would be gaining strength to overcome the tough days.


-N-


1 comment:

ArELeEz said...

i'm still ur stalker. in shaa allah.. ;)