Ass-essed!

At the start of March I posted about how worried I am about Assessed Clinical Exercise for perio, pros and cons. Today Alhamdulillah I'm done with the last assessment.

So how did it go?

I think I did the best in Pros, surprisingly. My perio was so-so and cons was the worst. We did what we've been doing all this while but the thought of having this assessed made me all nervous and extra cautious.

Today for the cons exam I almost didn't make it. It was not a simple caries, I must admit. But I don't have any options since I don't have suitable patient and the time is almost running out. To my dismay, the radiograph was missing from the patient's chart so I was quite worried. I had to do it carefully as a simple mistake would cause pulp exposure and that is a big no-no. They have negative marks for inappropriate caries removal! I struggled a bit when I was putting on the rubber dam. I ran out of time and my supervisor was in hurry so he checked my work before it was finished. Senang cerita everything that could go wrong in the clinic - half of it happened to me this morning.

Anywayyy I'm just so thankful it's all done. Thanks to all my supervisors, I think they are kinda generous as well.

Next - Case Presentation!

TALK MORE

I have to admit despite being here for about 4 years my spoken English isn't really good. Dalam blog pun ayat tunggang langgang apatah lagi time bercakap ye dok?

So this few weeks I've been having loads and loads of stuff that required me to talk more. OK history and exam and treatment with patient is another thing lah.I'm talking about stuff like Viva examination, pros clinical exam, perio clinical exam, tutorial. The thing is I'm just not that confident to speak out loud. I always get tongue-tied and brain-freeze each time I'm being questioned in front of more than 1 people.

Scenario #1 - Pros clinical exam. I had to explain why I did such and such design. I know why I did, I just don't know how to put it into words....and my favourite phrase was "how do I say this..". Trust me I repeated the phrase multiple times. But I'm lucky Dr L believed me and I got a good marks. At one point he patted my shoulder and said "I know you know this. You just need to practice"

Scenario #2 - In the middle of the pros exam (Scenario #1) Dr B my tutorial-group supervisor was watching me from afar. At one point he came nearer to see what I was doing, laughed and went away. After the exam I went to the nurse's room to get some stuff and Dr B came to me and said ''TALK MORE, don't be afraid just talk more" We then chatted a bit about some stuff and I became more comfortable with him.

The next day I tried my best to accept his "challenge" and talked.....once in the tutorial. LOL. He was so glad that his face changed. All eyes were on me but I just went on anyway. Well, that was a good start innit? OK Dr B I'll work harder and TALK MORE in the future. I'll do my best )

Scenario #3 - Orthodontics and Paediatrics viva examination. It's an exam and my examiners were the head of respected departments, the Profs. I was so so nervous because I've never quite seen they smile before. A lot of time in the exam, I kinda let out a small laugh and smile whenever I'm being questioned because I'm just too nervous. I hope they didn't take it wrongly as if I was making fun of them or something.

Sighhhh. I have case presentation in May and another clinical exam to go. Really really need to brush up them skill more.

I know what you did last weekend

You did everything but studying!

Gendang gendut tali kecapi

Tomyam + Telur bungkus + Sotong goreng tepung + Kerabu mangga + Kailan goreng belacan + Cucur badak + Sirap = HAPPINESS

A weekend fulfilled by loads and loads of food. Tak padan dengan perangai takde duit. Sighhh. I really need to stop acting like I have money when I don't. =S

Tapi penuh sungguh aktiviti hari ni. Pagi pergi picnic, petang "spring clean" bilik. Waceyh bajet dah spring kan jadi kena la kemas2. Tapi ni baru first stage. 2nd one will follow I don't know when. Maybe after I'm back from German...or maybe later. Lepastu sambung pulak masak tomyam and kailan for tonight. Lepastu makan malam dan borak2 mengarut sampai malam.

The downside of this weekend was my laptop's charger broke down. I knew it wouldn't last long but I did not expect that it would die today. Biasalah kan sudah jatuh ditimpa tangga. Biasanya time-time kita tengah sesak ni la macam-macam nak pakai duit. I had to fork out a large amount of money to buy a replacement. Another month to go for next scholar. Sighhhhh..marilah bertahan sebaik mungkin. Dengan nak pergi German lagi nanti...sigghhhhh

Harini daylight saving berakhir, maksudnya rugi sejam. Sekarang jam daylight pukul 1239am tapi sebab dia dah abis sekarang sebenarnya pukul 139am. Rugi masa tido tapi dah minum kopi tadi rasa macam tak ngantuk plak.

Tapi kena paksa tido jugak sebab harini macam bangun *quite* awal jugak rugi pulak weekend2 ni tak rehat2 next week penuh sebab ada kelas ganti.

With that, I end this crappy post with thank you and have a good day.

Where Do I Go Now? Sebuah kisah post - SPM results

6 tahun dulu, dengan lesen yang baru berumur kurang lebih sebulan, janji dengan rakan-rakan ;

"Weh kita gerak dari Shell Seksyen 9 eh"

"Weh K, kau bawak kete bleh? Aku cuak sampai takleh drive lah"

Pintu gerbang Sekolah Menengah Sains Selangor menyambut kami. Kelihatan beberapa rakan-rakan sedang menjawab panggilan telefon, rata-rata terpancar tawa senyum gembira.

"Assalamualaikum Cikgu, saya datang amik result"

"Tahniah N, kamu dapat 10A. 2 A2"

Airmata gugur berderai laju bagai tak percaya. Seumur hidup, tak tersangka boleh dapat result sebegini rupa. Paling tinggi dalam bayangan sekadar 7A cuma. Alhamdulillah, syukur Ya Allah...

angkat pengetua dan orang dapat straight A1. Yang tak dapat straight A1 jadi tukang angkat je -___-

"weh kita takyah pakai baju kurung tau gi amik result" LOL sungguh childish sekali pemikiran..

nak masuk paper dgn tv3 weh, senyummmm

Buruan mencari biasiswa mencari arah tuju hala hidup bermula. Medic ke engine? Tak amik account bleh ke nak jadi accountant? Tak minat lukis taknak jadi architecture? Medic ke engine? Educamp untuk biasiswa syarikat minyak. Kursus di Terengganu untuk biasiswa syarikat telekomunikasi. Medic ke engine? Eh luar negara? Tak pernah fikir pun. Eh mesti ramai orang hebat nak ambil Medic..MARA ke JPA? Eh...budak SBP susah ke eh dapat scholar MARA? Medic ke engine? Eh nak pilih negara mana ni? UK dan New Zealand. Hentamkan sahaja!

"Sukacita dimaklumkan saudari telah ditawarkan biasiswa JABATAN PERKHIDMATAN AWAM untuk melanjutkan pengajian dalam bidang PERGIGIAN ke negara IRELAND"

JPA. Dentistry. Ireland. So the journey begins...

That was some summary of the dilemma I had after the results came out. I was not certain of what I wanted to do until I had to fill in the application form for scholarship.

The deciding factors for me to finally opting dentistry were the likelihood of getting a job and the best course that could get me a scholar. All I wanted at that time was to be sponsored to study somewhere. I had little, almost zero knowledge about dentistry but I chose it anyway.

I have to say my love towards dentistry was kinda developed rather than being something that I always wanted since I was little. I really wanted to be a doctor..but I just think I'm not meant to be one, since I suck so bad in Biology. Back then I heard about people having trouble getting jobs when they do this and that so I really wanted to do something "in the medic line", something that has job security so I opted for dentistry. But I had to admit that was kinda childish minded.

WHERE DO I GO NOW?

Result dah dapat. Borang permohonan depan mata. Kalau dulu terumbang-ambing macam saya, isi semua, kejar semua. Dulu saya rasa, mana yang dapat itu lah rezeki saya.

Tapi ada satu tahap saya rasa saya tahu apa saya mahu, jadi saya lepaskan salah satu tawaran dan ambil keputusan untuk masuk matriks, jalan yang sukar sikit untuk dapatkan apa yang saya mahu. Alhamdulillah, rezeki dapat JPA, kira dipermudahkan lagi jalan untuk dapatkan apa yang saya mahu. So if u really really want it, there are always ways. Be it the hard one or the easy one.

Minat kena ada tapi kena rasional juga. Jangan rasa ada kamera dan suka tangkap gambar pokok atau awan kamu rasa kamu patut tinggalkan pelajaran, dan mulakan pengembaraan menjadi penangkap gambar terkenal. Bukan nak perkecilkan ni contoh sahaja. Tak salah nak jadi penangkap gambar terkenal tapi ilmu kena ada. Kalau rasa minat dan rasa ada masa depan dan mampu galas cabaran baru terjun.

Tak pandai nak kasi nasihat tapi ini pendapat saje...

Things I "wish" I can do before I go home for good

Wahhhhhh kau cakap macam kau dah final year kan? Takdelah insyaAllah I will have like another 1 ++ year to go before I'm done here. (Amiin, Amiin, semoga termakbul) There are still things I wanna do and places I wanna go.

1. Watch a rugby match. I prefer watching them lads playing rugby rather than football. Tatau kenapa maybe the excitement is more? Or maybe because I've been watching "live" rugby since school.




Abang O Gara. He was a student of UCC yaw!


2. Italy. Sadly to say most of my friends here have been to Italy so I've no travel partner to go to Italy. sob sob. Plus looking at the calendar now I don't think there will be any chance to travel anymore. sob sob sob



3. Watch an EPL match. I'm not a fan but just wanted to go for the sake of going..like been there done that! Macam rugi pulak dah alang-alang ada dekat sini kan. Hmmm..
4. Swimming nekkid at the beach. Naaaahhh I kid, I kid. Swimming, yes.Nekkid, no. Nightmare kang pengunjung pantai nanti. I love beach. But being here there are only like 3-4 months of suitable weather for beach go-ers. Unless you don't mind getting frozen by the beach lah kan. Tapi sadly half of the time I would be busy concentrating on exams and clinics and another half I would be home busy concentrating on eating good food and catching up with stuffs.

Eh tadi macam banyak dalam otak tibe-tibe blur plak. Oklah bye!

Kesal

I'm done with an exam. Another one to go next week, for this month I mean. Sat gi April ada lagi May ada lagi June ada lagi exam tak sudah-sudah zzzzzzzz.

yesterday's paper. first question I knew it already it was sooooooo Prof. He likes to ask us that kind of question a lot!

But I'm glad it's over. At least one is done. Loads more to go.

Today is St. Patrick's day so we have a Thursday off. Would be much much better if we have a Friday off as well tapi sayang tomorrow I have that damn ortho clinic pulak. I should have gone to the parade but iono why I didn't Loser sungguh duduk 4 tahun sini tak pernah nak pergi. All this while I've always exam around St Paddy's day. Not like this year is any different but at least next week's exam is slightly "lighter" than others. Hmmmpppfffff...

Yesterday to celebrate the end of that exam I had nasik ayam for the dinner. Tapi lepastu bila malam Wany made me to reopen my friendster account and suddenly memory from the yesteryears resurfaced and I became slightly depressed and did something kinda stupid. Sorta like drunk-dialling your ex. And I looked my pictures from before I looked a lot healthier. Lepastu menyesal makan nasik ayam. Haih...

nasib ayam, ku menyesal makan kau. sekarang mesti kau sedang membentuk lemak didalam badanku.

Depressed lah depressed!

Catching cold

I've been homebound-ing myself for this 4 straight days because I'm not feeling well. My throat started to ache since Thursday and got worst on Friday and Saturday. Today the throat felt better but I can feel the production of mucus is more than normal so I decided not to go to surgery. Nanti nak pegang suction pastu hidung meleleh-leleh susah je. Takkan nak suction hingus sendiri plak.

Tapi can you imagine, 4 hari tak keluar rumah hirup udara segar. Keluar bukak pintu pun tak. My life basically revolves around my room, the bathroom and the kitchen, with occasional visits to Wany's, Dayah's and K Iera's room. Loser gilaaaaaaaaaaaa. Tapi baguslah. Jimat duit sikit. Kalau keluar gi hospital mesti balik nak singgah Tesco. Pastu mulalah nak beli bukan-bukan. Hish. Pengurusan kewangan tak bijak!

Speaking about pengurusan kewangan tak bijak, I just made a very hmm what should I say, crazy decision? I decided to extend my holiday in London this Easter because I'm craving for sushi and the fried rice in the box I had last time. Inilah dia kalau buat perangai dekat-dekat nak exam pertimbangan tak betul. Haishk..

I'll wait till you smile again

I Love Asia by JYP. Although I'm still mad at ye but I can't deny you are one talented producer.

One of my favourite All-Artists-United songs. Somehow this kind of songs are better because it felt more sincere. Eventhough I couldn't understand what were they singing without looking at the subtitle but I do feel the song.

And I really hope this is not the time when we activate our selfish + insensitive + inconsiderate traits. Let us pray and hope things get better and those who are affected can rise up and smile again.

Random and incoherent thoughts

• my prayer goes out to everyone in Japan who are affected by the recent earthquake. Some of my friends are there I really hope they are safe and sound.

• Cork snowed today. I think if I'm not mistaken this is freakin March already!

• I hate stuffed nose and itch throat.

• I want Blackberry Bold 9780. Who wants to buy my good ol bold 9000? Hwaaa

• Here's a random song for a closure

kthxbai

RRRRoooootiiiiiiiiiiiii

One of the major about living in a place foreign to you, your religion and your race is difficulty getting the food. Halal food,good food to suits the tastebud. Especially if you are Malaysian, where good food are everywhere, anywhere, anytime you want.

A lot of time when we crave for something and the craving needed to be satisfied we would resort to making our own version of the food. Bila duduk sini barulah kau nak belajar buat karipap la nasik kerabu la ayam percik la kalau kat rumah tu kalau teringin memang start kete je lepastu pergi kedai beli.

BUT, as for me this "motivation" to cook this stuff only applies when I'm here. Balik rumah tanyelah Mak pernah ke saya masak. heheh. In my defense I would say I'm just so sick of eating the food that I cook for 10 months so apa salahnya 2 bulan nak merasa air tangan Mak / kedai. Heheheh..Nantilah bila dah balik for good saya rajin2kanlah masak balik slow-slow :P

So yesterday we had fun baking and making our own bread-based food. Well, Adilah got a breadmaker for her birthday so gotta make full use of it yes? It makes your life easier because all you gotta do is to be creative and add up some ingredients to go with the dough. The pictures below would tell ya what we made and I apologize in advance I'm just too lazy to rearrange the photos accordingly!

Pizza! With loaddds of salami and hotdog and cheese!

Sausage roll. Never thought it's so easy to make one! (with the help of the breadmaker, that is)

Raspberry bun. Ala baked pau!

Raspberry bun pre-oven

Sausage roll pre oven

Roti Boy!!! Pre-oven. Trying to be creative with the toppings. lol

The pizza, almost ready!

Today I feel a lil bit sick. The throat is acting up and my head starts to hurt everytime I cough. No temperature but my eyes are starting to feel warmer than usual. At times like this, I wish I'm at home because I normally eat porridge when I'm not well. Less effort mengunyah and it just felt "right" to eat porridge when you are sick. Usually mom will cook for me. Porridge and ayam kicap kari :( Hwaaaaa nak balikkkk

Hectic day!

Today is a record. I had 4 patients; 2 for prosthodontics, 2 for paeds.

I was so nervous to do this actually. But I don't have any option. I'm running out of time so I have to maximize every single session I had. I was really worried about having 2 patients for prost actually. Prost is a session where I make stuff like denture (gigi pelesu) and in the future (a near one hopefully) crown and bridges.

Awal-awal dolu-dolu normally I would take the whole session for each patient in prost. Nak buat gigi pelesu ni banyak stages dia. All the teeth, the gum, and the way the teeth are biting together needed to be reproduced in the cast. Ye lah kena la ada cast kan bukannya bleh cabut mulut orang tu nak buat gigi pelesu. Jadi kena lah buat copy.

But thank God everything goes smoothly in Prost today eventhough I barely made it before 12. Malam sebelum tu siap solat hajat mintak lembut hati semua supervisor and semoga treatment berjalan lancar. Ye begitu sekali risaunya.

Move on the to the afternoon session - Paediatrics. Yakni rawatan gigi untuk school kids either from 1st, 3rd or 6th class. Kalau kat Malaysia dentist datang sekolah ke sekolah tapi kat sini kita panggil diorang datang hospital for checkup. Still free, tapi this would need parent's cooperation to send the kids to the hospital lah. To be honest, since I started treating kids, my love towards them has deteriorated. I believe I told this already in my previous posts.

Why is it so hard to treat kids? Well, these are my opinion, based on my experience.

1. It's so hard to get them to open mouth and maintain a wide opening. Tiap-tiap kali pun kena cakap, OPEN WIIIIIIIIDDDDDDDDDEEEEEEEEEE FOR ME LOVE. Ye, tona percakapan kena lemah lembut bergaya gitu. Dulu time sekolah2 rasanya dentist saya cakap pun tak sangat. Datang, bukak mulut, pastu dia cakap dgn nurse suh tanda gigi itu ini. Pastu blah. Tu je. Yang sini macam kena ayat bunga2 pujuk2 intan payung bucuk bucuk.

2. They get tired and bored easily. That's why the time of treatment is limited to maximum 1 hour.

3. The parents. You know how some parents are quite protective of their child. So I'm dealing with the kids, as well as the parents. I need to gain trust from both sides...which is quite hard really.

4. Some kids are scared of dentists. Eceyh ni takyah kata budak orang besar pun sama. Tapi it's harder to deal with nervous kids because they can cry ke lari ke. Orang tua takkan nak nangis pulak kan bughuk benar ghupenye. But so far my kids are ok la. Cuma ada sorang je budak laki ni dia tak nangis sedu sedan tapi tengah-tengah tengok gigi dia tiba-tibe je air mata meleleh. Aduhhh syahdu sunggoh!

5. This is more like my personal problem. There's this one supervisor which is quite hard to deal with. He's a really good doctor. He wants to teach us well but it's just the way he conveys the stuff which makes my life harder. He's a perfectionist too so everything need to be done neatly, which is a good thing la actually but it could be quite stressing given the difficulties I'm having in paeds.

Tapi Alhamdulillah things went well in Paeds today. My first kid was so cheerful eventhough this was her first dental visit. She went all giddy up when I was dropping down the chair and when I blow air onto her teeth. At the end of the session she went "aahh I love going to dentist" which really made my heart melt and really made this whole tiring day felt better.

Thank God I survived today.

Badan and otak menjerit2 nak tido tapi tak study lagi oiii machammaneniiiiii.

Esoklah citer pasai buat roti :)

Baiiiiiiiiiiiii

Om nom nom nom

Brain jammed almost the whole day. Brain jammed ke pemalas pun I dunno I only managed to get a tutorial and a topic done. So much for having a productive weekend. Bleehhh.

Here goes collection of pictures of food I prepared, mostly for my din dinny. I think since we cook our own food my cooking skill has deteriorated. =S

Baked Salmon with mashed and boiled vege. I just sprinkle breadcrumbs and onion stuffing on the salmon, lepastu bake it. Boiled the vege and used an instant mashed potato.

Chicken fillet burger with iceberg lettuce and mashed. I ordered chicken fillet burger from a restaurant last week and it was so delicious and decided to make my own. Marinated the chicken fillet with oyster sauce, seasoning and blackpepper. Coated with breadcrumb and baked in the oven. Walla dah siap! Had this last nite.

Oreo milkshake. Once in a while when I think I need to reward myself I indulged in some oreo milkshake. Made with vanilla icecream, Oreo biscuits, milk, and coffee - blend 'em all together!

Salmon pie. Got this idea when I had seafood pie from the hospital's canteen. Tried to make my own but I think the canned salmon is not a great option to make the pie. The base was made of mashed potato, put a layer of chunked salmon on top of it, another layer of mashed potato and top it with breadcrumb. Not quite there yet but will try again bila dah kaya sket nak beli salmon. Hehehe.

Brown rice with green curry. Ni lagi la tak kreatif langsung. Bought the green curry paste from Tesco just add chicken and carrot. This one was for my lunch at the hospital. Yeaap nowadays mostly I bring my own lunch to save money. Only when I'm too tired or to lazy to make one I will buy from the canteen.

This sure brings back memories from the yesteryears :) Brown rice with sardine (Ayam Brand!) and fried egg. Mom used to cook this for sahur. Simple yet so yummy.

Hehe maneeee la tak gemooook!

Take 5

Bila tengok kawan-kawan dah kerja, macam bestnyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa. Takyah pening nak exam. Takyah study pening2 untuk exam.

Tapi saya tau orang dah kerja banyak je yang kata they wish they are still student.

Ok sekarang cuma berharap cepat lah habis belajar kat sini. Sejuk oii kalau pasang heater nanti bil letrik mahal plakkkk

Entry tak bertujuan. Kthxbai

Cuak Muak

Assessment before Easter :

Ortho proficiency test : 11th March

Crown & Bridge Written exam : 16th March

Oral Health Development viva : 23rd March

Assessed Clinical Exercise

Deadline: 6th of May.

Week left to 6/5/2011 (minus Easter holiday) - 7 weeks.

Exam to be done = 3 (Pros, Perios, Cons)

Pros patient - my sessions are fully occupied until the last week of March. only 4 sessions left before deadline. Risky risky.

Perio patient - Very limited perio cases available. Current patient; 1 needle phobia, 1 can only come after 3 (which left me only 2 hrs to do the exam!!)

Cons patient - no suitable patient at the moment.

Ya Allah, berkatilah masaku. Bantulah aku untuk menyiapkan semua ini dalam masa yang ditetapkan =S

Jatuh

Once in a while I got demotivated, scared and sidetracked and really wants to give up. Like right now.

Kalau saya masih kecil, boleh selesai masalah dengan menangis. Dulu kalau dibuli abang, angkat telefon, panggil ibu mengadu, menangis, kemudian rasa puas hati, masalah selesai.

Kalau saya masih kecil, bina istana pasir tepi pantai, air ombak datang runtuhkan istana, menangis, lima minit kemudian dah lupakan istana itu, pergi main sama ombak laut.

Sekarang saya dah besar, mengadu pada ibu pun ibu cuma mampu bagi kata semangat. Masalah belum selesai.

Sekarang saya dah besar, semangat rapuh dihentak dengan cabaran demi cabaran, menangis macammana pun, lari jauh mana pun perjuangan masih belum langsai.

Tuhan, berat sungguh dugaan ini. Bukan aku tak redha. Cuma ingin mengadu. Kuatkanlah semangatku ya Tuhanku.