October 15, 2015

Doing it for others

We don't always get what we desire - that's the truth that hurts. But people said things can be nurtured, developed, grown. Alangkan potato pun boleh tumbuh dekat Mars, apatah lagi benda lain ye dak?

However, to do something that you aren't really...interested. It's hard. When you force something, it's tiring. When your heart is longing for something else but you've been told to do the other things, it hurts.

But I do listen to advises. As stubborn as I might appear, I can accept opinions too. So I'm giving it a try although my heart is screaming this is totally not for me. Kah. Apa boleh buat. It's not like I have a lot of options.

So aku layan je and try to hold on as much as I can. See how far this will go. Risau lebih je tah tah tak kemana pun. Lol.

On another note, I've been asked what do I look for in a guy. Well first of all, I need a manly man. I know it's a bit unfair because I'm not a girly girl..and because I don't have a slim and slender body, I don't fancy petite guy too. And I..if I'm not interested, you will know I'm not interested.

But if one is adamant. I might eventually give in. I have to admit, I'm a lil bit of a clingy person. Clingy in the sense that I want you to be in touch with me almost everyday so if you show your persistence, I might eventually get attached to you. I normally build a huge wall with a person I don't really know but once you managed to break the wall, I can really open to you.

That's why the easiest way to kill me slowly is by be close with me that I put you into the circle very close to my heart, and then one day start to be un-close to me and become distant. I get hurt day by day just by multiple failures of trying to hate you and get you out of the circle. And for the record I didn't even wanna hate you. I just force myself not to get attached to you anymore. Rest assured no one else can come close to this circle anymore. I will build a wall, make a bridge.

Oklah banyak mengarut dah. Lapar. Kbye

1 comment:

wani ezryl * said...

hating may not be the best solution. but keep a distance if getting close makes you suffer. most importantly, find your own happiness and don't depend on others (to make you happy) if they're not. cheers :)