Lu langsi lu mati!

Sooooooo..I've been trying my best to combat this gloomy mood and depression shiznit that has been infecting me. I dedicated my time cleaning the house. Like menyental dishwasher yang ada petanda to grow mould, scrubbing the dirt off the floor, disinfecting, yup you heard me right, disinfecting the plates cups tupperwares and whatnots in the kitchen. Not all, but I'm trying to do as much as I could.


Apart from that, I also tried to watch movies, Malay movies to be exact. I am a very impatient person so watching Malay movies has been a serious battle for me. BUT, by downloading the movie, I have my very own power to fast forward all the crap that I don't wanna see.


#1 Hikayat Merong Mahawangsa

All I can say, this movie is awesome. The effects are awesome. The story lines are not too bad, albeit it being a bit rushed and I feel like they are trying to cramp everything in a 1.5hours (?) movie. The actors and actresses..well I don't quite have the problem with them. Maybe I was awed by the CGI effects that I don't give a damn to the flaws.

Verdict after watching : I'd say I would give this movie 4.8 stars out of 5 because it kinda lifted out my spirit after watching it! I didn't fast forward any part at all so that's a good thing!


#2 Kongsi

I watch it because it has Shaheizy Sam in it, and he's one hell of a good actor. No matter how crappy the story is, I know I can rely on him to make it better. Tapi I can't help but to notice all the other sidekicks / co actors and actresses are very the tak reti berlakon. The story line sucks, but I've kept in mind that no Malay stories are ever logical anyway so that helped a lot in getting me watching this movie towards the end. It's pretty funny actually. I would rather categorize this as comedy than action.

Verdict after watching : Almost all of the leader of the gangs opens restaurant as their cover-up business. This got me thinking, apakah William itu sebenarnya ketua gangster? hmmmmm...I give 3 out of 5 purely because of the comedy. I needed that laugh! But I had to admit I fast forwarded a few parts here and there sebab tak tahan.


I might be downloading more and more stories to keep me occupied for the next 26 days!

p.s : Langsi tu amende tah?

Serabut

Life has been going on rocky road lately. It's like a domino effect. When one bad thing happened, every possible bad thing starts to follow. Again, I'm on another fall on this rollercoaster ride where I feel like quitting. This is like, the 2nd time in this month.


I'm pretty much done with the writing exams. All that's left are 1 OSCE exam, 1 oral, shitloads of patients' case report and of course, THE requirement. I don't wanna talk so much on my written exam. All I can do is to pray everything goes well.


My main main concern  now is of course, the requirement. There's this one particular requirement that I'm very worried of - root canal treatment. I have a patient, but everything seemed to be wrong with this particular patient. Cikgu saya tak membantu. Something happened last Thursday. Patient got kinda ornery towards the end of the treatment. Today,the patient told me she's been getting awful pain that doesn't resolve with painkiller. I've been trying to sort her out. I'm supposed to spend this afternoon reorganizing my life but up until now my room is still in kinda big mess.


To make things worst, the housemates are leaving the house one by one and the feeling of emptiness starts to kill me from inside. I don't think I have much of motivation left inside me already. I think if I lost my mind I could really start planning suicide. But no, that's just wrong!


Ya Allah, I beg for your mercy. please give me strength to keep going on.

Medicine and Surgery for Dental Students - MCQ

30 questions, 5 stems. Answer : True/False/Do Not Know. Negative Marking. 1.5hours.
These are roughly the questions. Some of the choice of answer could be wrong tho. Haha..tak ingat sangat..
I'll add more when I remember

1. Herpetic whitlow
- can recur
- incidence among dentist is increasing
-acyclovir eradicate permanently
-
-

2. Immunodeficiency
- oral candidiasis in 1st 2 months warrants for investigation of primary immunodefficiency
- scid below 1 year old
-methrotrexate causes neutropenia

-infliximab and bone marrow suppression

-
-

3. L/A
- high doses cause convulsion, tachycardia,
- effect on sensory
- must inject at muscle
- adrenaline must be given at end stage to reduce bleeding
-

4.(Maxillofacial trauma)
25 y/o  male, unrestrained, road traffic accident causing multiple injuries. Only response to pain stimuli, tachycardia.
-ensanguinal haemorrhage is single possible cause of death
-airway is not primary care
-a few scale to determine prognosis
- need of intubation and ventilation
-

5. Maxillofacial trauma
- need blood transfusion
- CT scan and xrays
- something about anaesthetic and facial injury
-
-

6 Syncope vs seizure. Which differentiate syncope from seizure.
-urine incontinence
-pallor
-tongue biting
- dilated pupil
- hypotension

7. and 8. Trigeminal neuralgia
- 1st presentation of multiple sclerosis
- ?radioesthatic surgery as effective as microvascular decompression in long term
- microvascular decompression
- commonly in people at age 50 - 60
- clinical signs usually show neurological deficit or something like this tak sure
- surgery access from retromastoid area
-
-
-
-

9. and 10. Radiation - this is kinda like a bonus question cause out of 5 choices, there's only 1 True answer. 
-fractionate therapy (2Gy /day)
-total dose for primary treatment head and neck cancer -no prior surgery (60-70 Gy/day)

11. Perioperative
- chest x ray is essential for every patient
- tpn vs enteral - which is effective to replace nutrient if nutritional deficiency
- stop steroid at least 10 days prior to surgery
- in diabetic patient, they need to take insulin when they are fasting prior to surgery

12. Medication that need to be stopped before surgery
-warfarin
-prednisolone
-clopidrogel
-propanolol
-aspirin

13. Wound healing
-debridement increase risk infection
-haematoma is a space occupying lesion that contains blood
-haematoma increase risk of infection
-
-

14. Steroid therapy causes
- sleeping disturbance
- hypertension
- osteoporosis
- easy bruising + friable skin
- Addison's disease

15. Diabetes
- ketoacidosis most common cause of trauma
-increase oral candidiasis
-
-
-

16. Oral manifestation of GI disorder
-coeliac - dental erosion
- Crohns on tongue
- ulcer on ulcerative colitis
-
-

17. Kaposi sarcoma
-can occur in oral cavity
- cause by Human Herpes Simplex 8
-
-
-

18. Melanoma
- in male, occurs at sun exposed face??
-?breschow thickness
-poor prognosis spreading superficially
-
-

19. Squamous cell carcinoma and  basal cell carcinoma
-SCC occurs in preexisting naevi
-SCC is sensitive to radiotherapy
-BCC on lip
-SCC usually metastasize to regional lymphatic
-

20. Asthma
-NSAID exacerbates
-presents with finger clubbing
-
-
-

21. Systematic inflammatory disorder
- giant cell arteritis causes jaw claudication
- rheumatoid arthritis causes TMJ problem (this was repeated twice!)
-
-
-


22. Coeliac
- causes dental erosion
- causes angular chelitis and anaemia
-
-
-


23. Chronic renal failure
-hypertension
-pulmonary fibrosis
-causes hypoparathyroidism
-
-

24. Thyroid disorder
- hypertension and throtoxicosis
-macroglossia and thyrotoxicosis
- hypothyroidism (?) and Addison's
-
-

25. Rheumatoid
-rheumatoid factor is spesific to rheumatoid arthritis
-anti-Ro in sjogren
-

26. Osteoathritis
- cause dry eyes and mouth
-
-
-
-


27. Hepatitis
- in ireland, most of hepatitis is caused by hep A
- hep B can be prevented by vaccination
- hep C can be prevented by vaccination
- antiretroviral therapy in hiv needle stick injury reduce 80%
-

28. Bell's palsy, on affected side
- can't close eye
- can't open mouth
- can't wrinkle forehead
-
-

29. ENT
- lamina whatthefuck (par something2 tak ingat tak reti woi) separates maxillary sinus from the orbit
- meningitis, subdural abscess are complications of acute sinusitis
- paranasal sinuses something something
- plain x-ray can be used to diagnose sinusitis
-

30
-
-
-
-
-




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Losing (Kehilangan)

Growing up, fatherless*, I tend to be really attached to people who are close to me. Like, I have lost a very important person in my life and I can't afford to lose more.


Mom and bro had a couple of "moment" where they fall sick and I would start to tremble and cry to myself as if the world is gonna end. They are my everything. I used to have phobia with riding airplane and when mom had to go to New Zealand when I was at school I was really really worried. Bro had one difficult time and he was admitted to hospital close to my IB final exam. I almost lost it but thank God I managed to finish the exam well. My aunties and uncles used to live with me come and go and each time they had to bid goodbye there's this indescribable painful feeling starts to radiate from my heart. Tok Haron passed away when I was in second year and I was really really shaken with the news.


All I wanna say is, losing the ones that you love, be it to death or as life moves on really really hurts. This entry was inspired from the sad news that struck our country - landslide tragedy at an orphanage house in Hulu Langat. One of the survivor had to witness his own brother being trapped underneath the rushing Earth. I can imagine how hard it is to lose someone you love when they are all you've got in this world. Especially living in that house, where you tend to rely on each other a lot..


Al Fatihah to all the victim of the landslide.


I am so not good in arranging my thoughts into words...


*I was born in 1987. Dad passed away 1992. At present it is 2011.

Randomitis Lazyarsitis

Pagi tadi tiba-tiba saya kembali ke asrama SMSS. Masih katil double decker yang sama, masih dorm yang sama. Typical pagi weekend, tiada kelas jadi bermalas-malas.

Lepastu Fahrin Ahmad BBM saya kata nak jumpa. Awwwww dia melawat saya kat asrama, how sweet of him.

Saya lekas bersiap turun bawah, jumpa, kita borak berbicara gembira. That smiling eyes ~_~




Of course la semua tu mimpi cuma. Lepastu saya kena bangun Subuh sebab dah nak habis waktu.

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

Nak update sangat-sangat tapinya tatau apa mau cilita. Exam? Susah harem? Bukan cerita luar biasa. Perasaan? Bosan dan hampir homesick. It's not homesick but it's more like sick of living here. huhuhu..I wanna go back to the place where I'm most familiar with. 


By next weekend I'll be home alone already. The housemates are going back home starting from next Friday, next Saturday and lastly next next Monday. Tapi Wany is going to Norway next Friday so I prolly will be left alone by Thursday. I was supposed to follow, I bought the tickets already but after giving a deep thought I think I won't risk the OSCE for a 3 days of holiday. Takpelah nok pelajaran comes first..Ada rezeki nak travel nanti aaaadelah..


Queen Elizabeth is in Cork today visiting. The main roads are close but thank God we stay far from the city. I couldn't be bothered joining the crowd at town welcoming her coz I've got exam next week! Hwarghhh..3 more exams to go. MCQ Medicine, OSCE Medicine and viva Oral Health Development. Bosan dah weh dah lama tak dapat tido dengan tenang bangun lambat dengan gembira. Even for the weekend. pfftt

Just in case my juniors wanna make reference for the exam the questions were :

1) Inhalation sedation. Dia kasi gambar, cakap what type of sedation, what is the agent (drug), how it is stored and the properties

2) Steps of surgical removal procedure of roots of 36.

3) Picture of a lesion on tongue. Everyone said it's an aphtous ulcer. I DIDN'T. So I basically messed up the question pretty badly coz once you got the lesion wrong, everything would go wrong. Anyway the questions were likely diagnosis, different categories of the lesion, investigation, type of drugs for treatment and underlying systemic condition associated with the lesion

4) A periapical radiograph, ada 11, 12 and prolly 13. 11 and 12 ada post crown. Describe 5 radiographic findings of 12, the diagnosis and the treatment options

5) Types of impaction of third molar (radiograph)

6) 5 petanda? landmark? haiyooo not quite sure but 5 things that show the inferior dental canal is in close proximity with the 3rd molar. Loss of tremlines, radiolucency within the band, diilustration etc

The Internet Distractions

...complications of teeth extractions includes postoperative infections and postoperative bleeding..

Eh post-op bleeding apa management dia eh?

*checks Master Dentistry...tak menarik. checks oxford handbook...tak clear..eh tengok kat internet la


*opens new tab initially to open Google homepage.

Eh ada orang update blog tak weekend-weekend ni

*clicks Google reader

Eh  kak Green Apple update blog dia

cantiknya beg...beg Coach ke. Aaaa..macam nak beli mahal tak

*opens Coach website

   browsed through the bags...Eh tiba2 teringat Zack's online business at facebook. Tengoklah dia ada jual tak

*opens Facebook

   Bestnya....final year dah abis exam, dah jalan sana sini. Bestnya...kawan ni dah grad dah nak keja. Oh, another wedding invitation? Eh nak tulis blog lah pasal banyak wedding invitation

*opens Blogger. Reflects what I've been doing for the past 2 hours.And here comes this post




Inilah dia dinamakan the internet distractions. Elok tengah baca-baca sekali terupdate blog pulak. Sighh

Skype with my my beloveds

This morning I saw Kak Diah put her BBM status - "Nayli is going to have busy day today" and I asked her why. Long story short, I found out she'll be going back to my home in Shah Alam so I texted mom to go on Skype so I can see her.


So today...is kinda like my first informal meeting with her. I am not used to call myself Makngah yet simply because I just don't quite like calling people with makngah maklong as it gets pretty confusing when the circle gets bigger. Another reason would be because I'm in denial eventhough i'm a makngah i'm also a maksu HA HA HA nak jugak tuuuu. So we'll see nanti balik Malaysia what would I call myself!

"who's this woman calling my name. why does she live in a box", that's prolly what's going on her mind

The first time I saw her online, I kinda think that Nayli looks like me. I mean, not me at my current age la tapi when I was at her age.

Nayli's looking at her mom @ aunty Ain not quite sure

lil Nayli starts to get fussy

undressed and ready for a bath!

It was quite a short meeting but I was satisfied enough. I left the conversation on while hearing my mom and bro talking over there, just to get the feeling as if I was there. Huhu...can't wait to get back home!

To the boi that we love

Saya bukan jenis penyayang binatang, tapi saya boleh jadi sayang kalau saya dah attach dengan binatang tu.

Dulu masa kecik-kecik balik kampung ada anak kucing ni baru lahir. Saya kasi makan saya selalu main dengan dia. Anak kucing ni selalu ikut saya kesana kemari sampai saya jadi attached dengan dia. Tapi mak saya tak suka bela binatang kat rumah lagipun susah jaga. Bila saya nak balik rumah Cici ikut saya, tapi apakan daya..saya cuma mampu menangis tinggalkan Cici..

Saya sedih, serius saya sedih.


Sebulan yang lalu Dayah bawak Wako masuk ke rumah kitorang. Kita ejek-ejek dia, selalu cakap-cakap konon nak masak dia rebus dia goreng dia tapi hakikatnya saya sayang dia. Saya tak reti jaga kucing sebab saya tak reti pegang. Saya takut jugak sikit2 kalau dia cakar. Tapi sebenarnya saya sayang. Tengok dari jauh je tapi still sayang.

Tiap-tiap pagi sebelum pergi hospital mesti nak jenguk dia.

Kadang-kadang kalau Dayah belum kasi makan, saya kasi makan dekat dia.


3 malam yang lepas Wako duduk tepi tingkap dapur macam biasa. Kadang-kadang Dayah bawak masuk kalau hujan. Tapi malam tu OK, jadi saya biarkan. Dayah takde kat rumah pergi study group. Saya cuma kasi dia makan macam biasa, tapi tak bawak dia masuk. Saya tak reti jaga kucing macam Dayah jaga.


Esok pagi dia takde.

Petang dia takde.

Malam dia takde.

Esok lagi dia takde.

Petang dia takde.

Malam dia takde.


Dan kami dapat berita ada orang jumpa kucing macam Wako, mati dekat-dekat Tesco.

Rumah kami dekat dengan jalan besar, bukan kuasa kami nak tahan dia pergi kemana kemari. Tempat tidur dia kecik, kalau kurung mesti tak selesa. Wako penakut, tak mungkin dia pergi ketengah jalan raya yang sibuk, tapi mungkin malam tu sunyi.

Kitorang tak abuse dia. Cakap cakap nak buat itu ini semua lawak saja. Sentuh dia pun jarang sekali (kami, bukan Dayah), apatah lagi nak abuse dia. Dayah sayang Wako sepenuh hati dia.

Saya sedih, serius saya sedih.

Baru plan nak beli dia mainan saya jumpa dekat kedai dekat town bila nanti saya tinggal dengan dia je time summer nanti. Baru plan nak belajar pegang kucing or main dengan kucing summer ni.


Summer ni saya sendiri lagi :(

8 April Wako datang, around 8 May dia hilang.

Rest in peace boi. Kakak will always love you.


p.s. ppl  have been making jokes and saying things about the way we take care of the boi. tahu nak main cakap je. it hurts me when people say things without thinking.

Hari yang sungguh intense

Wasssupppp homies. I'm done with one exam and my case presentation. That's wassup! Now I'm just chillin like a villain feelin so fly like a G6. Like a G6 like a G6 net net net net net net feelin so fly like a G6.


OKlah sebenarnya tak fly like a G6 pun. The exam was pretty hard actually. Like the question wasn't straightforward. For 9 essay questions to be done in 135 minutes (that's about 15 mins per questions) I honestly think it's not fair to give something that needed to be think of carefully and be written in long long paragraphs. I mean, kalau kau nak bagi tricky questions, make the answer requirement simpler lah. Ini tak, nak tamakkkkk jugak, questions nak tricky, jawapan diperlukan tanak kalah.

the disastrous exam paper T___T

Oh well. Benda dah lepas. Now I really need to preserve the positivity and keep the momentum going. Tapi I had enough for today. Will only start studying for next subject tomorrowkot.


Today I also had my case presentation. I was kinda stressing about that too. Like this is the first time in my life having to talk in front of my classmates (or groupmates even). Oklah I talk in small group of 10 only but it is still a hard job for me. I've always had problem in public speaking eventhough I've done that countless times. I used to be the head prefect back in primary school, used to represent my school in pidato back then in SK Hicom, done numerous of group presentations in high school and KMB and I was given the opportunity to head my batch back in my final year in high school. Still the nervous breakdown occurs each time I need to face the audience. Once I sang in our final year dinner back in high school along with Fuzah Yati and Pekah  and I screwed up the lyric big time. I was fortunate it was a traditional song and the lyrics are poetic stuff that people won't even realized it was wrong. lol


Anyway the presentation went better than I expected. Very minimal tongue tied or twisted. Kadang-kadang nak menyebut perkataan inggelish ni my tongue got twisted sikit lidah melayu sejati agaknya. The questions asked were not too bad or probably I've kinda asked for their kindness to "be nice to me". Cuma supervisor saya sajalah yang tanya soalan-soalan mencabar minda tapi saya rasa ok jugak la saya jawab takdelah teruk sangat. kot? I was touched  my groupmates were all supportive in the beginning and told me I did a good job at the end. Maybe they expected me to be worst kot hwahwahwa.. It really gives me a boost of motivation. This is like only the beginning. Final year nanti berlambak-lambak lagi case presentation I really need the first one to be memorable in a good way.


Alright next up - Dental Surgery next Wednesday!

I stalk your profile

Lyrics dia agak spot on ya kawan-kawan. haha..


Esok saya ada exam. Doakan plis?

Kerana kau ratu hatiku

Selamat hari ibu kepada Puan Alfiah, dialah ibu dialah bapa dialah yang membesarkan saya dialah yang menjaga saya dari kecil hingga dewasa. Semoga Allah membalas jasa dan memelihara kesihatan dan keselamatan mak selalu.

Selamat hari ibu kepada Kak Diah, the new mother. Semoga Nayli menjadi semakin senang dijaga dan semoga Kak Diah terus tabah.

Selamat hari ibu kepada Mak Pah. Air tangan masakanmu sentiasa menjadi idaman kalbuku.Selamat hari ibu kepada Mak Semah. Terima kasih tak terhingga..sewaktu dua tahun pertama sudi menumpangkan rumah di Brussels dikala saat2 sedih dan susah. Selamat hari ibu kepada Mak Tip. Terima kasih sebab sentiasa menemani dan membantu mak. Terima kasih kepada Cik Kam, pembaca setia blog saya. Kadang2 bile tinggalkan komen saya jadi gembira dan bersemangat semula.Selamat hari ibu kepada Mak Limah, zaman duduk dgn saya banyak teman saya ketika bosan. Selamat hari ibu kepada semua makcik2 saya.

Selamat hari ibu buat semua yang sepatutnya.

Allah selamatkan kamu semua!
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War

Frozen yoghurt - my comfort food after a tiring day

Now that we are only left with 2 months, the atmosphere in the dental hospital is really intense. Final years are currently finishing up with the clinical and sorting out their patients while getting prepared for their clinical orals and last written exam. As for us the fourth year..we're trying to juggle in between getting the requirements done and studying for the never ending exams.

Today I came only for the afternoon clinic and yet I'm so tired and kinda demotivated once I'm done. I've been hearing some not good stuff happening. It's depressing, really. Really need to pull myself together and get this done. Mesti.bertahan.

At times like this when I feel like running away from all of this I try to distract myself. Play games. Concentrate on getting highest score. Watch Running Man. Laugh my heart out and put the worriness aside for a moment and be in my own world. Pamper myself with good food (patutla setiap kali exam makin makin naik)

Ya Allah, berikanlah aku kekuatan..
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Screen shot

Just sharing what I have on my laptop dashboard. Something that I check quite often.

A clock of my time zone. A clock from home, which sometimes I change to other time zone as well.

Weather forecast. It's gonna rain this whole week. Dangggg..

A countdown timer to check out how long til I'm home. 51 days to go yawwwww

A calculator nak kire berapa duit tinggal

A calendar for no particular reason. Saje-saje letak.



Yes, I am bored and trying to procrastinate.

Poyo betul ini pun nak blog

The blog is so fugly and I'm in no mood to blog and to retouch up the design. Once the exam kickstart-ed there was this one indescribable miserable feeling that haunts me everyday. Padahal my exam dates are spread out in this 1.5 months..takdelah seminggu ni exammm je memanjang..tapi tulah..mandom je mood this few days.

I really hope I could do well and pass all my exams beautifully, as well as getting my requirements done and done. Ya Allah, please ease my way..

Anyway what brought me to come up with this post is to mark this day..the day that I finally got an "excellent" score in my paeds clinical session. I know this is no big deal..it's just another normal clinical session, it's not an assessment or anything but it still meant a lot to me. Coming from a supervisor who gives out to every.single.thing that you do. All this while getting a "good" is good enough for me, never had I imagined I'd get an "E" from him. Lol. This is also the second time he praised me for a job well done. Memang jarang siap ingat berapa kali kena puji selama ni mmg kena kondem je. Patient record tak selang satu baris pun jadi isu.

Oklah dah puas make a big deal out of nothing marilah kembali ke pangkal jalan and study.

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