Earlier Than Expected

 It's happening....earlier than expected. Dang, I am not ready to let go this place just yet. 

Thinking of taking 2 weeks of my last month of service, but apparently I cannot do that. I have called the HR earlier on to enquire, just not to the correct person so my bad jugak la. They said I can always do it manually rupanya tak. Lepas dah tender baru la I talked to the correct person and got a correct information. Cisss..I don't want to upset my boss tapi tadi muka dia ada sikit berubah tadi bila cakap nak shorten notice. So here I am, making last minute decision.

Initially I wanted to at least finish this year, to the whole month because they are kinda short of manpower. Tapi bila dah jadi cenggini, ku terpaksa jadi half selfish and take the last 2 weeks off. 

Pick up and gather yourself. Let's go for this roller coaster ride.

Bismillahirrahmaanirrahim

The Cat Is Out Of The Bag

 The news is finally out. Fuh.

I have always wondered the direction of my career. For some reasons, I don't quite see myself growing old at where I am right now. However, I didn't give very much thought about quitting just yet because, well, I don't have valid reasons to do so.

I have been offered the place where I am doing my part time around a year ago? 2 years ago? Been working with her since 2014 on alternate weekends, so I kinda knew the place for a while. When I was offered, I was quite afraid in the beginning. And the offer came again earlier this year....

The place where I work is already the most comfortable place in the whole wide world! An 8-5 job, with stable and increasing income every year.. I get to do a little bit more stuff from the gahmen clinic. And this recent year, I get to do something more of my passion - fitness related stuff which I won't get to do at somewhere else, I think. I get to go places I won't go by myself, doing things I wouldn't think I would do. But I did. And it was such a good experience.

SO why would I leave this place? Well, when things get too comfortable, I begin to question about MY CAREER. The degree that I worked for 5 years. It is going stagnant at the moment. I looked around. My friends - where are they right now, and I tend to compare myself. I began to question myself. I am not married yet. My career is at plateau phase. What have I achieved in this 33 years?

Moreover when the world is hit with the pandemic, my job was pretty..useless. I wanted to help, I wanted to do more. I do get a little bit of chance to do little things, but it is too little too late as I have started to give deeper consideration to quit. 

I have made istikharah. Asked around for opinions. Researched a bit. Made some calculations for my commitments because my pay is commission-based with basic that is not as stable as what I get right now. And finally am ready to go out of my comfort zone. Taking this big leap of faith.

It is scary. Full of uncertainties. Tapi tak cuba tak tahu kan. At least with the new job insyaAllah, I get to do more, and my voices are heard 😄

Oh My EYES

Last few days I noticed my vision started to become blurry, and it started to worry me. I have been using spectacles since I was 8 so I know the difference between increased power and something..unusual.

So I made an urgent appointment with the ophthalmologist at a private center. Could have gotten an appointment at Sungai Buloh but my problem was getting a tad too annoying. Nak drive pun a bit terganggu sebab blur. Drive malam pun teruk with the lights and all. My eyes also became extra teary.

 

Had a thorough checkup, given a few solutions for the examination, including the liquid that dilates my pupils. Thank God I brought a driver because my vision was so blurry for at least 3 hours I think. Turns out, I have a very, very dried eyes that the surface of my eyes is gritty. Something called punctate epithelial erosions. The tears I produced lacked of mucous. I have also developed some sort of allergy to contact lens, which is pretty normal for someone who has been wearing it for a very long time. 

So I have to be off contact lens for at least a month ( 3 months optimum actually but I'd like the least option :P) and was given 2 types of eyedrops. One which I have to use 2 hourly. Had to fork out a hefty amount for the checkup though, sedikit sedih tapi tulah, beli beskal boleh takkan dengan diri sendiri pun berkira kan. Kakaka..

My vision is still blurry. There are some good days, some bad days la. Like yesterday, it was okay in the morning, but later towards the end of the days it starts to be blurry. I need to rest my eyes more. But today, it is blurry even from the morning. Just hoping it does not get too severe later today. It is okay if I don't have to work because I don't have to "use" my eyes too much (for driving, etc). 

Semoga penglihatanku kembali pulih seperti sediakala. Aminn..