December 31, 2015

Two thousand fifteen

The same scare revisits each and every new year without fail.

So how do I recap 2015? It's a year of tumbling down and getting up again. I'm glad that I can finally look over it and smile. It's a year that tested my patience the most. And it's a year that reveals the painful truth of faces that are dear to me.

I believe each and every person sent to you life for reasons to make you, you. And being a sentimental person that I am, I treasure beautiful memories from the yesteryears that make it hard for me to just erase people out of my life just like that. However, I do believe that people should do what they want, not because they do it out of sympathy or whatever bullshit they call it so I am more than happy to let go.

I am also thankful for all the people sent to me to lift up my days. Who showed me that I am not who I thought I was. The ones who came in out of nowhere and painted smiles on my face and planted butterflies in my stomach. And who make me believe in myself once again. Motivated me to look after myself better. Lend me helping hands and listening ears when I needed it the the most. Rant with me, together we be bitching about things that make me/us unhappy. You know who you are, please know that you are also my shining stars!

I don't wanna sound cliche and come out with new year resolutions. But I do have hopes that next year will be a year with lesser headache and heartache. I am walking out of 2015 a stronger person, and I would like to keep that momentum. I have always wanted to become a heartless person, and I do believe I am walking to the right directions.

Although, despite the strong person I am trying to be, deep inside me there is a nadzirah who is covered by anxiety and sorrow, full of scares and worries. One day, one sweet day, may the strong ones guide the weaker side to better days.

Keeping the faith. Always.

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