Routine

My boring weekdays schedule. Almost the same day in and day out. But actually i do prefer this kind of lifestyle. At least it is more disciplined and it sure does help me in maintaining a healthy lifestyle.

However to balance the dull life, my weekends are fully used with nonsense activities. Makan pun tak jaga sangat :p

Tentang rasa

Spent the whole day doing some purifications. Some serious thinkings. My heart...it hurts. It hurts so bad.

But what needs to be done..needs to be done...

Unfair

I never wanted to give up. But it has been too long. And I can no longer bear the pain.


So please let me go and let me move on. It is unfair for you to come and go whenever you want to. Because you know you are my weakness.



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Life is a cycle

Sewaktu kecil, ibu yang dodoikan kita, yang membelai kita, yang mengajar kita satu dua dan tiga. Akan tiba saatnya dalam hidup, giliran kita yang dodoikan ibu, belai dia, dan mungkin mengajarnya berkata-kata..


This is my grandma. She's down with stroke, leaving her half body paralysed. Reminded me so much of my late grandma (my father's mother)..

But Alhamdulillah she's blessed with 13 children. Seeing all my uncles, aunties and including my mom especially taking care of her..I knew she had raised them well.

Something that my uncle said last night left me pondering upon..

"Mak ni orangnya lemah lembut, tak menipu, tak mencuri, tak pernah tinggikan suara, tapi macam ni juga sakitnya. Apelah nasib kita suatu hari nanti.."

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Bertahan

I'm staying here for the weekend. Might go back to Muar tomorrow morning to visit mak and tok.


Part of the reason I don't go back is to detach myself from you. To ease the process of moving on..


It hurts but it is necessary before it gets worse
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Time to kill

There'll be a time in your life where you have to decide which road you would like to travel.


At this moment both roads seem so dark to me..both would hurt me equally bad.


But I'm deciding to let it go. To kill this feeling before it compromises something else. It will make me feel miserable and lonely as heck but I think it is for the best.


I hate the fact that I like you. I wanted to tell you. I tried to tell you indirectly. I wanted to make it obvious but I'm just too shy. I have no confidence. So I'm going to give up trying. Lay low and let this feelings die a painful death.


Goodbye.

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Of making an investment

Sooooooo..as what I wrote in a few posts before, I'm going to enroll in a gym.


On the 1st of January 2013, I went to my first ever gym session. I must say it is a very costly investment.This is a very hard decision especially at this time where I badly want a new phone... Sigh..but I had to be tougher on myself.


I also got myself a personal trainer but since I'm on a very tight budget he will only be with me for 5 sessions. Why bother getting a personal trainer? Well..I've been doing things on my own to shed the first 15kg and it's going nowhere at the moment. I guess it's time to get an expert help. Plus it's good to try something new like lifting weights rather than the same ol same ol cardio exercises like treadmill and cross-trainer and a trainer is necessary so I can do it properly.


I enrolled in Style Fitness gym, it's about 10mins from my clinic, which is very convenient! I've also been reading a book that I bought in Big Bad Wolf - The Gym Survival Guide which is really good I must say!


A topic in the book states that we must reward myself for positive reinforcement. So here is my reward list.. LOL bukan main lagi siap ade list!


If I managed to go to gym at least 3 times a week for a month I'm going to get myself the gym bag that I saw and dying to get one in JPO..

The next 5kg shredded imma get myself a new phone..because I really really want one.

The next 8kg shredded I'm going to change the tinted glass of my car (which actually is abang's...but it's kind of mine now) because it is really really annoying to drive with the distorted tinted!


Ok cukup sampai sini dulu. Jangan letak harapan setinggi gunung sangat. Gagaga..

Bismillah...semoga dipermudahkan!
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Bila Rindu

Sometimes I really wanna tell you..but I'm not quite sure with my feeling either.

Sometimes I just wish you knew how I felt so things get easier.

Hello twothousandthirteen

Welcome, 2013. I hope you bring great things.

So how was my 2012?

I graduated dental school. One of the biggest achievement in my life. Alhamdulillah.

I left Ireland for good. And it was harder than I expected. And I still miss Cork. Until today. I miss the greens. The nature. The serenity.

I am back home. Back in Malaysia. Had hard time adjusting at first. But finally blended in well. Back to my family. Back to my friends.

But not for long. I started working. In JB. A place so alien to me. Which kinda breaks me a little inside. But I'm gathering strength, pieces by pieces. Trying to make the best out of this place.


2012, It was a good ride. Thanks for the memories :)


Bring it on 2013!
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