TAKUT

Hmmmmphh..a lot of things running in my mind now. This weekend has been a pretty relaxing and stress-relieving weekend for me. I touched no academic things at all...except printing off a few articles for my second literature review. Just print, no read. That's no good, me don't like.

It was also a gloomy weekend. Sun didn't even come out a minute. In normal circumstances I would be all dull and depressed but since I'm going back home soon I've been pretty okay with that. Tapi lepas dah berhoo-haa this 2 days suddenly I don't feel good. Tiba-tiba all this kind of scary feeling come crawling to me.

One of the thing in my mind being how pretty scary Malaysia is turning into. I admit I'm no goody girl. But I think I always kept my limit although I admit there are times I tend to go over the limit. Tapi it's just once off and I promised myself not to repeat it. Bila tengok how ridiculous people do things in Malaysia..I became really scared. Berparti berpeleseran sana-sini..lagi buat saya risau. Ishk I dunno how to channel my thoughts properly tapi that basically what I think about it. Risau. Menakutkan. Macammana nak besarkan anak dalam environment camtu?

Second thing came into my mind is how close I am to the real tough life. I know I might have been complaining lama sangat belajar sini homesick segala, tapi sebenarnya saya takut nak pulang balik. Bila start kerja, meaning it's a whole new world to me. A whole lot of responsibilities. Persoalan disini mampukah kau? I've got a few plans in my mind will I be able to achieve it? Boleh ke handle? Kalau tak dapat, sedih tak saya? Lepastu masuk plak soal jodoh. Ade ke? Sampai ke? Haha serabut lah pikir semua ni!

I think the solution is...just go with the flow, tapi still find a way how to make things better. It's one of my new year wish, remember? Tackle the probs one by one. Don't overthink but don't ignore. Bleh gitu?

Excuse my incoherent flow of thoughts. I'm feeling uneasy and I feel the need to rant. Sekarang baru rasa ok sikit. Fuh