It has been a hectic week, juggling with my tumbling and unstable emotions, as well as managing work. My team went for the nationals and managed to secure the highest band, Alhamdulillah eventhough we didnt make it to the top 20. A little bit of mixed emotion there but I would just leave it as it is. Soal rezeki, ada nanti ada lah.
Aside from that I am fighting with my feelings. It has been a very tiring week especially emotionally. Things might have been getting better, or at least the intense phase has passed but it still feels empty.
To make this week a complete series of sad things, I have confirmed my suspicions that my best friend of work is resigning. I mean...I have already broke down a few times this week. I cried to sleep. I cried on the way to work. This news is another cry-worthy thing but I am physically so exhausted I had to resort to another way of expressing my sadness. However, she's leaving for the sake of her family and the fact that this place might not suit her need. It is pretty tiring this days with overflow of patients. I had to excuse myself from seeing patients for this few days but I'm always feeling guilty doing so knowing how tiring would it be for them to work without another 1 manpower. It must be hard for them. Anyway... I should make peace with the fact that she's leaving because it is for her happiness.
I hope with a few tasks and events already completed by this week, things would be better. I am just tired mentally, physically and emotionally. I already let go a few locum sessions eventhough this is the hardest month for me, financially. Might need to take out my savings di hari tua. Harap ada rezeki lain nanti :(
