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August 02, 2018

Low Mode

I have been feeling rather down lately. To the point that I wanted to drive so fast against the wall. To the point that I spent my day lying down with no motivation of doing anything.


Trying to pick up myself and not to linger too long in this low mode, I did some sort of muhasabah and discussion with myself on certain things that I need to fix. It won't be easy. I might fail half way but at least I have some ideas on how to reduce the effect should I go into this low mode in the future. Here goes...


  1. Stop comparing. Being surrounded by people, I can't help myself from comparing with theirs. How nice would it be to have this and that. How nice would it be to have my days celebrated like this and that. But people have their own problem. They are just good at not showing it obviously. 
  2. Lower / Throw away expectations. On my birthday I made a wish list and sadly, I jinxed the list. All the things that I ever wished for went miserably wrong, exacerbating the angry mode I was already in. And it left me with this kind of shitty mode up until today. Made me feel unloved and unworthy all because the expectations that I myself set in my mind. Had I not had any expectations, things would have been much much better.
  3. Start picking up my self esteem. At this point of feeling low and all, I'm also not happy with my current weight and body. I have been slacking too much after raya. But I'm an emotional eater. I eat more when I'm sad. Negative vibes feeds me more than emotionally. I take care of myself better when I feel loved and motivated. My motivation to exercise also went down the drain lately. I need to pick myself up, as soon as possible. 

I need to make peace with myself. Things will be okay. Sooner or later. Just gotta swim through this phase...

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Stop expecting. Just go through through the flow of your life. Allah knows what and when is the best for you.