July 24, 2015


I have always been struggling with my confidence issue since forever.  Growing up fat, dark, gapped teeth, thick lips and simply not typical Malaysian-guys dream (skinny, fair-skinned, skinny girls) I always feel left out. I seek clarification from other people to see where do I fit in the society.

So I became a dentist. How cliche this could sound, one of the reasons I became one is to make sure nobody feels how I felt about myself when they have imperfections, and one should know a healthy smile really could boost up your confidence.

While I tried to lift up other people's confidence, mine fluctuated throughout time. I tried my best to correct what I don't feel good about myself. I tried to be less fat. I wore braces to close my gappy teeth. I tried some beauty products to patch up my dark skins. At some points of my life where I have people close to me and made me believe that I am not as valueless as I am, my confidence remained high.

The past 1-2 years up until a few months ago were one of my best moments where I think I picked up my confidence again and I do feel appreciated since 2010. I was one happy person.

However as I depended so much on other people's view to boost my confidence, they also could easily destroy me as they walk away from my life. As weird as it sound my weight increases when I am unhappy. Each time a person that I am really closed with walk out of my life, they made me question my worth.

Currently, I think I am a boring person to hang out with. It would be embarrassing to walk with me cause I am one fat and ugly person. Yada yada I am at my lowest of the low again.

People said confidence is sexiest part of one person. I hope one day i get to be that sexy person.

I am talking rubbish again. Better stop now before it got worst..

1 comment:

wani ezryl * said...

should not let other people affect the way we are, negatively. hope you'll find happiness and confidence that you need. :)