June 17, 2015

La Tahzan

I am feeling a little extra shitty today. The kind of feeling that accumulates anger, sadness, angst, frustration, and hopelessness in one go.

I would like to open my heart and share what and why exactly I have been feeling like this but I need to gather my thoughts and channel it properly. Plus, I might be exposing my weaknesses too and I don't want some people to use it to their own advantage. For example kalau aku cakap aku rindu nak makan goreng pisang some people might be posting in facebook how happy they are eating goreng pisang and she might just be doing it on purpose for all we know.

Yes I'm paranoid. No I'm not okay yet. I still wake up in the middle of night feeling all shitty. I still lose my focus at times. I still got headache. And I cried watching X-Men movie when I saw how broken Professor X in Days of Future Past.

But I've started reading this book. It does provide some comfort to me so despite being not okay, I think I'm doing my very best not to be worse.

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