God, grant me patience

Hello blog. Today is Friday. Friday is a day before weekend. Friday is supposed to be a good day. But guess what? I fucking hate Friday now becauseof the clinical session.

A week ago for an unknown reason, I had a new clinical partner. I thought it was temporary but I guess now it is becoming permanent. Last week I had a patient. She was assisting me. And she literally made me look like a stupid person in front of my patient. She kept on arguing me in front of my patient. And the arguement wasn't even necessary. I'm doing things at my own style so she could just fucking stay off from what I'm supposed to do. She was supposed to be assisting only. I was marked down because my own fault because I didn't bring a probe. So that's fine. Sucky assistant. Being marked down. Case close.


This week I came in with a slight positivity in me having thought that last week was the first time we work together so maybe this week we could work things up. Guess what? It was even worse. I was ONLY assisting and I was marked down because I didn't write a few necessary things. FYI, I only write down whatever things that came from her mouth and I don't think it's fair to minus my mark for something that was merely not my mistake. What made me even mad was she was saying she did said something but I didn't hear it. That was total bullshit. And she even said she even helped me do my job by filling in the patient's medical history form for me. I was so angry that I was shaking and couldn't even tell things off her face.


It even more painful when I'm writing this because the scene when she was putting the blames on me kept popping. Excuse my harsh words today..I am so mad that it kills my mood for the day.


Until now I think, I am an expert in sucking suck things up and let it explode in myself. But I don't know how long can I keep holding on.