Trauma

Someone threw me vulgar words and wished for my discontinuity of life
And he is someone that I knew since 7 years ago
And yet he could say those words?

But did he stayed for my explanation?
I gave him time to vomit out his deppression
But he left me no chance for explanation...

Now despite everything I said about the awful outing with them boys, I did not run from them. Nor did I went home without acknowledging them. I stayed with 'em. I declared myself as just plain stupid because I did not tell him straightly, I was not comfortable with the outing.

Truth is, I don't hate anyone that strong, when I said so. Hatred is just way too deep to be felt. Saya kutuk orang, saye marah orang, sebab saye kecewa dgn dia.
Saya merajuk ngan orang ke ape, sebab saya sayang dia.

Adoih...
And people, when I'm gone, do sedekahkan Al-Fatihah will ya?
When everybody back there hates me, those who knew me inside out, please, do come to my funeral will ya?
Those who know how much I treasure my friends, pls note that I love ya, no matter how I treat ya. Through bad through good. During ups and downs.
And forgive me for all the wrongdoings. Ampun dan maaf kepada smua yang terluka with my words or my acts. Even kalau saya dah tiada, just zap me off from ur mind, don't remember me because of your hatred towards moi.

Hwaaa...when I'm gone, will I be remembered? Or to rephrase my doubt clearly, will I leave good memories or the bad ones?

)=

Ya Allah, ampunkan segala dosaku..