December 04, 2015

Angan-angan jadi impian, impian jadi cita-cita

During my schooldays, I've always wanted to be a doctor. But then reality kicks in. And I realized I don't enjoy Biology as I thought I would.

I saw the struggles of my relatives to secure a job and I thought to myself, I will find a job that has a demand so high I need not go through the hassle and disappointment of job hunting. So I thought, okay, maybe not quite a medical doctor, but I should stick in the healthcare line. 

I was still searching for a path back then.

At the age of 17 I finally got my chipped front tooth fixed after living with it for close to 10 years. I was inspired. 

I got straight As for my SPM but only A2 for my Biology and EST, so I said, okay, I can actually still be in the healthcare field. Why don't I choose Dentistry, close enough to Medicine, I guess?

As I started Dentistry, I realized I still have some love for Medicine. I began to love Oral Medicine subject so much because that was the closest to Medicine I can get. At the same time, I also fell in love more towards Dentistry ;)

When I finally started working, I really enjoyed my Oral Medicine/Oral Pathology rotation. I developed a good connection with my specialist, that I even continued with once in 2 week attachment with him. 

However, I have begun to not enjoyed my work in my then workplace. Repetitious. Too many workload. I felt like I was a robot. I became an angry person after seeing around 40 patients per day. I didn't have enough time to have small chit chat with my patients. I didn't enjoy working in Johor. 

But strangely enough, I felt so sad because I felt like I didn't give back enough to the community, despite the fact that I dislike working where I was before.

I resigned from my old workplace and started working where I am working right now. I get to practice my skills again. Loads of things happen. I realized my passion to work on my own and give back to community starting to surpass my dream to become a specialist. 

At this moment, I dreamed of owning my own practice. I want to give back to community with my own way. At one point the dream got shattered when I lost a potential partnership but now I am back in the track.

Another dream was also born as I aim to open a child care centre which caters..erm..almost everything. Won't disclose anything as of now as it's still in the angan-angan phase :P

I am actually a strict person to myself. At times I would like to think I am a high achiever. Becomes specialist has always been my ultimate goal. But right now, I have to work on something else first. 

Ergh..writing this in between loads of patients rasa macam tak sampai plak sepenuhnya perasaan plak tapi still nak buat luahan perasaan. Kahh..Kbye

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