July 28, 2015


I am a very negative person - that, I got to admit. I always thought of the worst case senario. That's how I operate like. Dulu time result UPSR Mak asked me what did I think I will get, I told her 4A straightaway because I just don't want to keep the hopes up.

Sebab kalau jatuh dari tempat tinggi, sakitnya tuh disini double.

I'm always torn in between not getting your hopes high up or to always think of good stuff sebab kata-kata tu satu doa. But I really really really really hate being lied to, like being given false hope ke ape ke. Hurt me with the truth but never comfort me with the lie. I can't promise I will be okay with the truth there and then tapi I think I will suffer more from the lie. Gitchew.

Tapi tula, di sebalik negativity, I am always, always hoping for the things I thought negatively, turn out to be the other way round. Pikir buruk tapi harap tak jadi buruk. Like buang expectation tamau tunggu ada orang nak ajak makan best time bday tapi disudut hati ada berharap sikit-sikit. Kahh. Dah dah la tu weh takyah berangan la fancy dinner berdua ke  ape tido je la banyak-banyak hope dapat mimpi macam tu :P

Tu lagi satu perangai pelik. I treat people the way I'd like to be treated. Lepastu when expectation not met, aku sentap sorang-sorang. But I'm gonna keep it tight to myself this time when I go sentap never ever force people to do things for you just because kau sentap or kau sedih. Swallow your sadness and put on your happy mask. People have to do stuff because they want to do it bukan they have to do it. I am a difficult person liddat. Sebabtu I always give options to people to walk away from me if they ever feel like fed up. Those who stays and bertahan I vow on my life will be for them no matter what. Contohnya my bestprengs. I would go extra miles for them if you make this one crazy woman feel happy and appreciated.

On the other hand it's almost to the end of July already and I still haven't brought my lazy arse to the gym. Bought a trial voucher for a gym in Groupon, ada lagi seminggu nak expired pun masih tak pergi lagi. I am hopefully should be done with my puasa 6 tomorrow lepastu boleh lah cuba drag this fatass ke gym.

In order to keep my fitness at an acceptable level, I have to register for runs. Aku takdela poipoi to call myself an avid runner ke a marathoner ke apa but I do it to beat my own personal record.  Plusbila ada run you would want to make sure your stamina is still there before the run. I entered 4 so far this year. 1 registered another 1 to be considered. Super, super disappointed with myself because I forgot to register for Rock to Run. The medal this year looks radd uwaaaa I iz so sad.

Bila nak lari Half Marathon I also don't know. Farthest I have gone is 12km. 16km tengah istikharah lagi. Yet to find a suitable run sebab semua nya Putrajaya Putrajaya Putrajaya. Menyampah iols. I also haven't registered for a 5km fun run yet this year just for the fun and just to test how fast can I go. Taktau nak register fun run apa. Last year I closed the year with this one fun run and for some reason malas gila nak abiskan run tu nasib la lari bodo-bodo dekat tasik je.  

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