June 19, 2015

Erti hidup pada memberi

In La Tahzan, one of the ways to make you happy is to help the unfortunates. The more you give, the more you receive.

One of my azam ramadhan this year is to give more. I realized I am not quite a generous person. Seeing how He showed me what it feels like to have your rezeki "held", I insaf a bit. So I pledge to give more.

And when the ustaz said something like semoga Allah gandakan sedekah anda dan diberi ganjaran syurga, I choked up a bit. How easy it is to do good and how easy it is to gain pahala..

Bukan niat mempropa kebaikan, but I write here to remind myself to keep doing good coz it feels good doing good.

On the other hand...I can't even describe how I felt after a while.. I was overwhelmed. I was in mixed of being happy and being angry when I reminded of some broken promises.

I wanted to spill out what's mountaining inside me, I wanted to talk about everything but I kept my guards up and kept cold. As cold as I could when all I wanted to do was the exact opposite. I held back my laugh and my smile. I don't want to create good memories that I will miss later on in the future who knows this might be the last? Coz there's no more strong reason for a meet up after this.

Atau adakah sebenarnya ini PMS?

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