Truth be told, I think I'm beginning to get fed up with my life as a student far away from home. It's been 2.5 years now and I thought I should have well-adapted to it but no, I was wrong. I'm starting to lose my motivation. I began to do things just for the sake of doing it, without having the effort of doing it at my best like I used to before.
I began to be very unthankful with what I'm having in my life. I know this is very bad...I know I shouldn't be getting this feeling. I know not all people could have this experience like I do. But this sorta feeling...it just came out of nowhere. Slowly creeping into my life and starts to ruin everything. I'm starting to get sick of everything around me. I'm sick of eating the food that I made. I'm sick of having to manage my own life. I'm sick of managing my account and the household account. I'm sick of living in a country with unstable weather. I'm sick of not being able to use my mothertongue language to everyone. I'm sick of being separated with people that I love and comfortable with :\
Academic wise, things aren't doing good as well. My studies are are trembling down the drain and if I don't do anything to fix this, I'll seriously gonna be stuck down there forever. That day at Aunty Ainol's house, she gave out advices on how we aren't supposed to forget the purpose we came here. Upon hearing to her words, I nearly teared up because I felt so guilty of what I've been doing all this while.
As I'm writing this, I'm still gathering myself to get back on track. I hope I could find the drive to go on and finish what I've started. I hope I could find my old self who was very much motivated and happier.
-semangat yang hilang, kita cari pulang :/ -
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