Of trying to go on with life

Well hello yeorobun..How's things going on?

Things for me, are not looking quite good. I'm starting to feel something not good is coming in the way. Academically, to be spesific. Need to prepare myself for the worst. Mesti tabah. Mesti redha. Of the utmost important, must never give up. Just need to take a deeeep breath and finish this one last week. This week is gonna be longer than I expected. And not gonna be that "happy-i'm-gonna-be-home-in-a-week" as predicted. Oh well, that's life mate.

The World Cup has started and I've been keeping tabs with the progress so far. Iono this is so sudden. I'm not a big fan of football anyway. But there's this one time I tuned into online RTE live game, when South Korea was playing against Greece. You know la how I'm crazy over the Korean groups/variety shows tapi lepastu I became addicted to watch more and more of the games.

Lepastu tadi my groupmates were talking about the games. Suddenly one of them came and said she never expected S.Korea to win because well...it's S.Korea anyway. My semangat Asia untuk Asia almost brought me to stand up for the team but I managed to remain calm. hahaha poyo kan tetibe nak semangat lebih. Anyway I'm rooting for S.Korea and Japan because my semangat Asia untuk Asia (LOL) and England, Spain anddd Germany (because they played so so good yesterday) Banyak benar team yang disokong. heheh..

Alright now, I hope I can survive this week well. Wish me luck!

Clouds

Roll~

Roll back the clouds.
Let the sun shine through.


To all the people out there going through some tough times, this one’s for you.

Yo, there’s light at the end of the tunnel I haven’t seen it
Not all of us become rockstars and ballerinas
Even in California, the sun ain’t always beaming
Can’t predict the forecast for all four seasons
We have dark days, can’t make your card payments
Working a whack-ass job, living in Mom’s basement
Some lands never get rain, so there’s starvation
Some only see snow through neighborhood's scarred faces
Not everything is set in stone, the weather changes
It’s like God, that the devil's trying to entertain us
Walked through the treacherous storm and overcame it
It’s never been an easy path on the road to greatness
So don’t you give me that boo hoo hoo shit
We movin on to that new new new shit
Look up into the clouds and watch them blow away
Until my problems just go away

When the clouds are in the sky
Know that they’re just passing by,
There'll be sun shine
If your days are stormy nights,
Dry the raindrops from your eyes,
There’ll be sun shine

[Jay] Yo, everybody works hard for their goals to achieve

But like the ocean is sea,

Man, the motion is free

So nothing ever adds up the way we want it to

I guess my math teacher was just a substitute

Everybody hits some rough patch, turbulences in the sky

Life’s a cow, I made a burger, and I’m serving it with some fries

Gotta make do with the cards we’re dealt

And though it’s hard as hell,

I know that God will help

Cos although I live in Seattle,

It’s not always gonna rain

There’ll be some sunny days

Coming up this way

Everybody wanted to see me struggling,

Running away from pain

But I know that wondrous things are coming to visit again some day

So no worries, I just stand with the smirk on my face

Although I know some people out there throwing dirt on my name

But it’s all good, (it’s all good) I still show them some love

Cos unlike that girl in the movie, I ain’t holding no grudge

I’ve been a little lost,
But I’m not color blind
I’ll follow that yellow brick road & put my fears behind

I, I, I, I
I, I, I, I

And on that yellow road
I'll find a wishing well
Cast a line, and in time I'll know prevail.

Of amalgam fillings

Saya sangat kurang gemar menggunakan amalgam sebagai filling! Noktah!


Okay here we go again..my endless ramblings about my OTL sessions. So sekarang kitorang still doing restoration work, doing fillings, specifically amalgam. Seriously, amalgam ni mak oihhhhh sakitnya hati nak buat because :

#1 It doesn't bond to your tooth. So the cavities are prepared in a way it can hold the amalgam from falling. Contohnye la kan (tatau contoh betul ke tak) macam kerja-kerja kayu, pakai tanggam, tapi tak guna paku. So the design is made in which the amalgam and tooth are placed with very minimum possibilities of falling apart.


#2 Amalgam, before it sets is powder. So kena pack the amalgam to the cavities kuat-kuat. My Prof said, "you must feel the pain on your hand" baru betul amalgam tu mampat. And of course, selalu je ah dia terjatuh-jatuh when we are filling it.


#3 Once the amalgam is set, you can no longer do any amendments on your fillings. So within the setting time, which is approx la roughly 10 mins, you have to get it all done. The height of the fillings in compared to adjacent tooth kena betul, the curvatures kena betul. If not, kena dig it out again and do it all over again.

The second tooth I did my amalgam filling, I had to redo it about 3 times. The first tooth was okay because the cavity is simple. Tapi the second one....I nearly gave up and macam nak lari-lari anak menangis kerana kecewa tak bleh buat. hahaha over. Nasib ah I gathered up myself and kept holding on til I finished it. Siap baca selawat segala in my last attempt sebab memang serius dah tak tahan dah nak menghadap the tooth anymore.


Today I did the third tooth, which is more challenging because it's an upper tooth, so lagi senang lah amalgam tu nak jatuh-jatuh selalu kan and nak kena tengok plak the work through mirror instead of direct vision. Amazingly, I managed to do it in the first attempt! I wasn't so sure with my work so as usual lah I had Prof to check it out and surprisingly he said

"hurrmmm, the marginal ridge is good...the carvings are fairly good. So...okay, yeah"

I was dumbfounded that my eyes nearly teared. HAHAHHAHA over nak mampus. Then I asked again to clarify and he said "yeah, it's okay" and he asked me how many time did I do the filling and I happily said "ONCE!" Prof gave me a thumb up eventhough my work is not the best but at least I managed to do it in one go! Rasa loser sangat benda-benda kecik camni pun nak hemohemo tapi serioussss terganggu emosi kalau tak dapat buat benda ni.


Weh risaunye saya requirement for clinics tak jumpa suitable patient lagi. Ya Allah, please ease my way to fulfill the requirement. Temukanlah saya with someone who has simple carious lesion or someone who needs a not so complex fillings. Amiin.

Standing on the brighter side

Pandang belakang, tunduk bawah
Berselubung dalam selimut
Bangun tidur, tidur bangun

Dunia nampak gelap
Masa depan nampak kelam


Pandang depan, dongak ke atas
Bangkit menjalani kehidupan
Tidur sekali untuk bangun sekali

Dunia nampak cerah
Masa depan ada harapan =)



Let's get the party started babyyy :)

Pssstt..

Blog,


Saya dah beli =) =)

Tomorrow...

...is gonna be a loooooonnnngggg day.



I have OTL lab in the morning from 9 til 12. Break for an hour. Continued with lecture at 1 until 2. Right after the lecture I'm gonna have my clinical session until 5. Since my supervisor is away this Friday, she's bringing forward our clinics to tomorrow afternoon. The partner couldn't find any patient for tomorrow so it's gonna be my turn to treat the patient again this week . Gaaaaahh. Nervous kali lima juta seperti biasa. After that I need to run back home and cook the dinner since Wawa is coming. Around 8++ like that I'm going out to the station bus to fetch Wawa and Aina. Wawa is cominggg. My first ever guest in Cork :D


By the way clinics esok akan buat in conjunction with Behavioural Sc's topic - Rapid Relaxation. Nadiaaaaa esok kalau SC tanya feedback akak camne awak jawab ok taaaaauuuuu. Hahaha..Awak cakap la awak tenang je sepanjang akak treat awak...wakaka..

Bismillah. I hope I survived tomorrow.

Tata!

Home Alone

Oh hai kawan-kawan. Saya duduk sorang ini malam. Home alone. tsk. tsk. tsk. Wany pergi Clon*mel. Kak Iera pergi Ke*rry. Dayah pergi berjoli ke Glas*gow. I'm so sad....Peneman (or mungkin peneman-peneman? :P ) setia busy pula these days bersukan lah ape lah itu lah ini lah benci lah. Nak nangis sekarang plis?


Dah pergi survey tiket balik. Ahhhh benci lah semua nak mahal-mahal. Sakit jiwa menengok harga-harga tiket. Lepastu dilemma nak pergi Jepun ke tak nak ke tak nak ke tak? Nak pergi Jepun teringin nak pergi Korea sekali tapi takde kawan plak nak pergi Korea nanti. Hwaaaaa..benci lah benci lah.


Tido malam ni mesti bukak lampu. tsk

Bai

Life these days..

TOP lah sangat :P

Haritu semangat-semangat hari-hari ada entry sekali pappp takde entry dua tiga hari. Huhu..I'm in the middle of some "project" so macam tak larat nak tulis blog. Eceyh banyak la tak larat. Dah 2 malam by 10 dah tido. Nanti dah abis tempoh project I'll reveal a bit what I'm currently doing now. Syhhhh girlfriend-girlfriend jangan pecah rahsia :P


So how's things these days? Hurm...pretty good I guess. Last Tuesday, for the first time of the year 2010 (padahal baru 3 minggu start class :P) , I went to the 8.30 pharm class. Amazing innit? Itu pun setelah paksa diri tido awal so I could get up early. I came because when I was printing the notes, the topic looked important. And it happened that....they took attendance for the class! lololol.

amalgam fillings.

Tomorrow I'm gonna start doing amalgam filling. Yes, that nasty black/silver material used to fill your teeth. Tadi I managed to complete the complex restoration. It looked simple, but it is not, really! Hopefully things will go fine with amalgam. Aih...nervous lah saya ini!


This Friday I'm gonna have Atiq as my patient. I really should start looking around for patient that could fulfill my requirement. I have one already...tapi tapi tapi I need to convince her that I can do it. Provided that my assistant do not suck up, I think I can do it just fine. Like everyone else. Camna nak convinvekan orang neh T__T Maybe I should start sabotaging my housemates by cooking sticky, sugary things and hide their toothbrush so that they could be one of my patient later. kekeke~ Saya dah ada 1 gingivitis case. Now I need another 2 gingivitis, and 3 fillings. Wuwuwuwuwu....Semoga dipertemukan saya dengan orang-orang yang memerlukannya. Amiinn..


Oh...and Mich, one of my closest classmate is taking a year off and going back to Singapore next week. So sad liao. I've got nobody to eat lunch with after this. :-(

It's complicated

Saya rasa saya macam faham. Tapi saya nak buat-buat tak faham. Saya cuba-cuba untuk putar alam.

Saya tahu saya memang kejam.


Saya tak mahu ia hilang tapi pada masa yang sama saya rasa saya belum mampu genggam.



sighhhhh

Sejuk tapi tak senow, let's keep it that way shall we?

Semakin meningkat usia saya duduk di Cork ni, semakin banyak benda yang saya makin saya bersyukur saya belajar kat Cork ni. So far Alhamdulillah Cork tak snow lagi. Kawan-kawan tempat lain especially kat UK class cancel sebab snow. Setelah pergi tempat bersnow, saya syukur Cork jarang snow. Kalau class cancel sebab snow habislah timetable smuorang kacau nanti lagi kurang cuti saye...


Today I had my first morning class of the week. The weather was freezing cold. Like you just enter a freezer or something. I'm not sure with the temperature though. Maybe around -2 to 2 like that. The road was kinda slippery but I managed to walk at reasonable pace to reach class just in time. I was kinda nervous to have my first OTL session after holiday knowing how suck I am in remembering things. Abislah patient saya nanti kalau cuti lama saya dah lupe macammana nak buat fillings kat gigi T___T Dah lah lepas grad insyaAllah 2012 kalau lepas semua insyaAllah nak pergi tengok Olympics dulu before balik Malaysia nanti semua tenaga dah abis buat cheer the sports balik2 semua ilmu pergigian dah keluar. T____T


Oh and kalau siapa pandai I have a new little secret somewhere here. Haaaa...siapa tere dapat cari ade hadiah misteri menanti :P


Oklah hoh bile baca balik perenggan2 takde kaitan langsung semua. KTHXBAI

2009 Recap

Here we go..the famous year end recap :)

January

Started my new year with very limited amount of money because of the holiday trip and shopping spree I had last winter. I predict this trend will go on until my final year. The thing is our allowance is banked in once in 3 months..and the next allowance is due only at the end of January. So usually starting the new year, the balance in the account almost always very limited.
MacBabe died one me after 1.5 years of service due to my own clumsiness.
Had my first visit to Galway for the basketball tourney.
Had my crazy-over-Twilight wave and managed to finish all 4 books by that month of January.


February

No pain can ever be greater that the pain I had in February. The day I lost another father in my life. And it still hasn't subsided til now. Especially during bro's wedding because usually he'll always be there. Either reading paper on the swing outside my house or sleeping inside Cik Pi's room. I don't talk to him much but the thought having him in the background is really comforting.
Cork snowed for the first time since I came here.


March

The disastrous overflowing exams month. Really pushed me to the edge. I started drinking Red Bull and taking all necessary things just to keep me up for revisions. I closed my blog for public view temporarily to give away for very depressed entries and selected only a few people to read it. I broke down like almost after every paper I had. Sumpah stress gile time tu.


April

Had my 3rd visit to Bruxelles right after I'm done with the exams. Lost my purse there. Went to Notts to visit Fiqah, Birmingham for Jason Mraz's concert and stopped by at Cardiff and met Kak Ra. She even brought us to Swansea.
Another preparation for summer exams is started.

May

Bought my second MacBabe. Once you 'convert' from Windows to Mac, you can never turn back. It's just...so hard (and no, I'm not boasting)
Summer exams started..and gotten my March exam results. Another bad news that send me to the darkest place in the world as I had to resit the paper in Autumn exam.
Started our house hunt and succeeded. Moved to a new house in Wilton Court, a place that we promised to ourselves during first year not to be but finally ended up in. Muahaha...But it's a nice place, really especially when you have everything around you (Tesco, Kedai ayam halal, hospital etc)


June

Started live in new house. Started my clinical attachment and had to go back about 3 weeks late than most of my friends here. Luckily Wany's parents came over. I don't know how am I gonna survive this year's though. One full month being alone (and no chance to go back earlier at all)
Went to Stockholm with Nabila and the rest.
Passed all my papers except that damn March paper.
Went back to the place where I belong on 21st June.


July

Summer fun in Malaysia, catching up with friends. Went to a sudden holiday trip to Langkawi with my beloved besties.
Preparation for bro's wedding done extensively and I even dragged my friends with me. Thank you girls :D
Turned 22.


August

Bro's wedding and I'm so glad everything went well.
Went back to Cork for my resit paper and then flew back home again after that for 10 days because I'm just plain crazy like that. Went for another crazy trips with my bestfriends.
Ramadhan started.
2PM :)


September

Went back to Cork in business class sebab flight penuh so I was upgraded FOC
Started first week of school with a very insecured feelings because the resit result is not out yet. But thanks God after a week, I am oficially a clinical year student. Received my toolkits and started doing more practical work and really really am enjoying them :D
My 3rd Eid away from home and my last Eid as the working force.


October

Had a big misunderstanding with my bestfriend. Like a really big one.
Went to London.
Went to Dublin for my 3rd Dublin Games and only managed to secure 2nd place.


November

Played football with my classmates for the first time and managed to outdone all our opponents :D
Letting go something..
Cork flooded and classes cancelled for one week.



December


Went for my winter trip to Austria, Czech and Belfast.
New year in Cork, (and almost possibly on the bed like I always do)


Sayonara 2009


Annyeong 2010. Bring good things for me okay?

All my bags are packed, but am I ready to go?

Winter break is finally here! This means, 3 months have passed since I left home and I've another 7 months to endure before I return to the beloved country.


After much hassle and a few rounds of going back and forth, I've finally packed my essentials into the bags. I was torn between using a troley bag or a rucksack.....So I'm bringing both to Dublin and let's see which bag am I gonna end up with later. LOL. The advantage of troley bag is the things that I stuffed into are easily accessibble unlike rucksack that needed me to throw the arm into bag to dig out my stuff. Tapi rucksack is very convenient takpayah nak seret bag kesana kesini..


I'm gonna leave Cork for Dublin tomorrow morning by bus (sengkek alarm alert. tet tet tetttt) and will be staying there for a night. Balik dari Prague, again I'll be staying in Dublin because we are heading up north to Belfast for Boxing Day this year. Wahhh...ada duit ke kau??? Takpe, disebabkan duit takde bolehlah guna credit card terpaksalah berjimat cermat. Huhu...we'll see how am I gonna survive this poverty. lulz.


Honestly I seriously don't feel like going. All I want is to pamper myself at home at my own bed and doing useless things like that. The thought of travelling to a place that is snowing (COLD/WET) is really demotivating. Nak kena redah sejuk. Nak duduk hostel yang tatau lagi selesa ke tak. Nak kena naik bas tram metro yang sangat tak familiar lagi...Aishh...Ssssokay..this is normal. Once the travelling momentum is gained, everything is gonna fall into place.


I hope this time I won't be involving with any drama. Tak mau tertinggal barang sana sini tertinggal pengangkutan sana sini. I wanna travelling with peace. Wish me luck people, and pray that I'll return safe and sound. In case I don't update this blog anymore....I'd like to apologize to everyone that I've done wrong. >.<


So here's the itinerary :

18/12 : Cork - Dublin
19/12 : Dublin - Salzburg
20/12 : Salzburg - Vienna
21/12 : Vienna - Prague
24/12 : Prague - Dublin
26/12 : Dublin - Belfast - Dublin
2?/12 : Dublin Cork

pergi tinggalkan my MacBabe. bawak ke Dublin, tapi tinggalkan kat situ

pengganti MacBabe sementara waktu

pergi tinggalkan tempat paling selesa dalam dunia

Annyeong Higyeseyo!

BONG BONG BONG

siakap.

Tahap kosentrasi sekarang memang lagi kurang daripada kosentrasi seekor ikan siakap. Apa tahap kosentrasi dia pun saya tak tau tapi ikan siakap sekarang jadi idaman saya sebab teringin nak makan steam siakap takpun 3 rasa.


Bila peperiksaan menjelang mulalah segala perasaan sedih malang nak menyerang. Time ni nak rindu rumah. Time ni nak rindu karoke. Time ni nak tengok semua gambar lama mengimbau kenangan silam. Time ni rasa nak balik sekolah.


Bila peperiksaan menjelang juga little things could amuse me. Bace kat blog Atiqah pasal twitter Big Ben Clock. Kalau tatau sapa Big Ben Clock rujuk sini --> SINI. Every hour, Big Ben Clock would go BONG BONG BONG according to the time. Macam sekejap lagi nak pukul 12 dia akan tweet BONG BONG BONG BONG BONG BONG BONG BONG BONG BONG BONG BONG. Gile cute kannnn. I followed him just to wait he goes BONG BONG BONG and bile tadi pukul 11, dia BONG BONG and I was laughing happily. Effect lebih menarik sebab saya pakai Twitterrific and ever single tweet dia akan bunyi macam burung chirping gitu.
*Pop quiz brapa banyak BONG ada in this paragraph?

bukti.

Man...I hate exams. Dahlah ada kemungkinan exam ditunda sebab workers union mungkin nak strike this Thursday. Nak tunda buat jelah lepas krismas tapi Irish semua taknak sebab diorang taknak study over the Christmas break. Lepastu harini 3 kali air tumpah atas meja and notes saya. Kalau orang tengok notes saya ada kertas mengerengkot effect air mengering mesti orang ingat rumahs aya kena banjir.

Help me to decide!

Another 13 hours journey. *sigh~

Do u know what's the feeling after having constipation for a few weeks and you finally got to release the..urm load? Yes that's exactly how I feel now! I don't know..I think I tried. though not the best but I've tried. Nuff said. Let's keep the fingers crossed and hopefully everything runs smoothly after this Amin ya rabbal alamin.


I won't judge my decision as logical or even reasonable but I guess this is necessary to prevent me from going crazy throughout the year. Miahaahaha! Some people may not understand but I know myself better and I know what I am capable of doing should I not take this decision :P


Salam Ramadhan to everyone. Cork is starting fasting today. When I'm back in Cork later i'll be fasting for about 19 hours or so! memang menguji ketahanan betul lah kan! Takpe-takpe, let's take this opportunity to start to go on diet again. Bwaahahaha..as if..


Marhaban ya Ramadhan. Semoga dengan kehadiran Ramadhan ini jalan saya dipermudahkan. Bantulah aku Ya Allah. Dann....Semoga amalan kita diterima olehNya. Selamat berpuasa :)