Tentang Dia

Walau setinggi gunung mana harapan, yang Maha membuat keputusan hanya Dia.

But this simple paragraph best described how I feel.

Caring

He is the kind of guy who has a very kind, caring and protective heart. I used to like him since long long time ago but at one point I knew that we cannot go more then just friends.

For some reasons I avoided him that one time. Feeling some kind of guilt and kinda missing having a go-to person like before I tried to rekindle our friendship.

Still the same guy who would make sure I'm safe inside the house before he leaves everytime he sends me home. I was kinda unwell today and was coughing like crazy when he came to my workplace to send something and he immediately told me to get it checked and get an MC. I told him about a guy who have been bugging me and out of 3 guys I shared the story with, he was the only one whi suggested punching the guy. Although, other person, of course has been checking on me almost everyday asking me whether he's still bugging me or not. Kihkih.


Entah kenapa tonight I felt like writing about him. May Allah blesses his soul and ease his way in whatever problems he is having. I genuinely sayang him and wouldn't want him to get hurt because he has such a kind heart. May Allah guides him to the right path. With all my heart, I really hope he gets the happiness that he deserves.

A costly mistake

It was quite late that night. I just got back from Zawara Bukit Jelutong because I was craving for Churros. Went there after my night job. Had a cup of coffee which I don't usually do except if I need to workout. I was quite tired.

Right after Hicom exit I sped a little bit like I usually do. Saw the motorcycle already but in a split second I heard a loud bang. Feck. 

So I hit a motorcycle, yet again. Thank God he was not harmed. I really didn't see that coming at all. I had my signal. Entahlah up until now I still think it wasn't 100% my fault. I got out my car. Another 3 motorcylists helped the guy out. I kept on apologizing to the guy. He was reluctant to see my face or tell me what he wanted. I was alone. Almost broke down into tears and finally we exchanged numbers and the guy let me drive home that night. 

I reached home and he called. He was calmer. Told him I'll pay for the damage. Went to shower, and he called again. Started to have weird feeling and I put my guard up. He asked me where do I live bla bla and the last question - "dah kawen ke" to which I immediately replied "dah" without thinking long. Kahkah. I heard him saying "ala..dah kawen pulak" This is the second time I hit a motorcycle and both times also the guys ended up being weird. Maybe I should tone down my apologetic face, but I needed something to calm them after causing problem to them aite? 

The mistake costed me almost 500. Takpelah ada la tu mana-mana gaji tak berkat tu. Iols redha dan pasrah.

Go With The Flow

The mantra that I have been holding on to lately - GO WITH THE FLOW

I used to be very very frustrated when things don't go my way. Like, hati panas meletop kebabow like that. But recently I have slowly been educated to let loose a little bit and let things go with the flow. Not all that you plan goes accordingly. I haven't fully grasped the concept, but I am trying my best to  berlapang dada and accept everything that has been destined and fated.

It's not in my power to steer things to go my way.

It's not in my power to make people stay.

I do have my hopes. I do have my dreams. Who doesn't want to be happy? But a girl like me can only pray. And hold onto the faith.

Someday, somehow. One sweet day, insyaAllah.

Still trusting your plans, Ya Rabb. 

The lioness is calm now

There's a thing about the persistence that made me gave in and become...calmer. Like no matter how cold I became, he held on and never counter it back to make things worse. Nor didn't he stay silent for too long from me. Still there, despite my cold replies. 

And little little things that he said like "taknak la macam ni..", "esok i try curi masa for lunch okay" yada yada bla bla that just silent the demons inside my head. 

I am afterall very easy to please and tame. 

Praying, and praying hard. Make things fall easy for me, for us.