It doesn't matter

I think it doesn't matter

Whether I reply or not. Whether I text or not. Whether I keep in touch or not.

Because I don't matter to 'em like how they matter to me. Hangpa won't feel sad when not hearing for me even for just few days. Hangpa doesn't really care what's going on even if we used to know about almost everything we do. Hangpa doesn't feel I am someone to share your concern or your worries.

In short, it doesn't matter. Because hangpa lived well, lives well and will live well without my presence. They are happy so I gotta deal with my own problems. I am sad? I am mad? Deal with it yourself.

Comforting With A Lie

Cermin gym yang buat saya perasan nampak kurus sikit.


Itulah manusia, they liked to be comforted with lies, only to be hurt by the truth later.

Hakikatnya masih gemok :(

Be happy -

Hello Monday, another day, another new week.

My mood has been awfully unstable these few days. Sejajar dengan ketidakstabilan mood ini, it also has been awfully quiet. Silence. And I began to think that things are really approaching the other end now. Maybe the wavelength has differed now, maybe there are no more things to be talked about, maybe the other side is in so much happiness that it need not to get to touch over this side anymore. Maybe just maybe.

Well, whatever it is, be happy now. Whatever you do, wherever you are, just - be happy.


Other than that there are still things that I wanna do but haven't managed to do so. I miss going to karaoke. I so badly wanted to go for massage. Massage I can go alone. Karaoke? Well, that would be too pathetic to go alone. Ada jugak la aku ajak tapi nampaknya nama aku masih belum naik dalam prioriti senarai untuk keluar hangout bersama lagi so I've just got to wait la I guess.

Kah. Bitter benar nampaknya. Well, be happy everyone. Be happy. You need not come over to this side anymore you just be happy with your lives.


On another note, I went to the house to try to clean it, again. The water supply is back so I thought I could do more. The day before I worked for the whole day so I was quite beaten up. I thought I could force myself for a second round cleaning but unfortunately I can't. Maybe sebab takde mood or tak makan nasi lemak royale kot. Lol. Only managed to clean the cockroach-infested refrigerator and that's quite it.

Lain-lain ada la mop the whole house but I don't think it's sufficient. The house needs some good sental-an. Mopping alone is not enough. I will save that after the termites problem is under control. Informed the securities the house is up for rent but I will put up an advertisement later when it's more ready.

Sebenarnya if I were more enthusiastic to clean the house boleh je fokus satu-satu ruang and get a thorough cleaning done tapi semalam serius takde mood. Balik, makan, too tired that I slept that evening. I rarely sleep especially after asar tapi semalam I just can't go on anymore.. Lepastu malam sambung kemas bilik sendiri pulak and again, tak larat nak abiskan.


Hoping this week goes well. Bahaya ni kalau layan mood cenggini berterusan :P

.....

SAKIT!

Recently my hands are quite fragile. It started with an episode of difficult extraction which kinda screwed up BOTH of my hands and it hasn't really heal ever since. As one whose works really rely on the hands, this got me really, really annoyed. 

I started to go easy on extraction. Eased up my appointments and made sure there are only 1-2 cases each day just to recuperate. It got better slightly but I made a big mistake carrying the rubbish up and down last Monday and it started to ache again. Apa bole buat takde orang tolong haritu kah. Til now, even doing other things tire my hands easily..

However I can't be choosy with whom or what kind of treatment I would like to do. It's not nice to let patients wait for long just because you simply don't wanna do it. I tried just now because I just extracted one before so I wanted to rest a bit but the patient ended up waiting for so long I just don't have the heart to make him wait any longer.  Bunyi macam I run the clinic alone but no, and I just don't know why...........

I really need my massage fix. My knees are starting to acting up again because I overdid in my RnB class last Tuesday. Tapi few days ni macam-macam betul cabaran mendatang semoga ade la benda yang baik datang menjelma later..