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November 30, 2015

Just random


Sometimes, we go east coast just because...reasons.. Ya know.. And none of us originated from East Coast. Selangor/KL to the core yaw. Kah. Penipu gila. Tapi betul la, takde pantai timur pun mostly selatan je utara je

Tomorrow comes December. I'm going to start tapering down my antidepressant. So kasi can la iols nak reminisce saat indah for the last time..

Goodbye K. Imma say hello from the other side now :')

November 29, 2015

No chill

Tonight I'm strucked by a very envious feeling. How I wish things go my way.


Or this might just be another case of missing a presence.


Whatever it is, you are still so far like a distant star I'm wishing on tonight.

November 27, 2015

Wait for me to come home



Song came on radio, I sang along and suddenly..
I macam terasa pulak dengar lagu ni 
I shot him an annoyed face.
You tuju lagu ni kat I eh 
Rolled my eyes.
Okay, wait for me to come home eh *gelak besar*
Proceeded to just sing the song even louder and ignored him



All these things but I still can't call him my own. Just jotting these down to become memories that I can look back when I miss it. A portion of my life that is effing complex yet makes me happy.


I would like to call him my antidepressant. Just enough dosage to lift me up from where I was before. But like any other drugs, at one point I will need to stop it once I get better. I'm getting better and will start to wean off this drug off my system, soon ;)


November 26, 2015

Wildest dream




Let's start this post with - Wildest Dreams. A song that I feel..haha kinda close to me right now. Thanks Bella for recommending. Kahkah.


I used to be very good in pushing other people's button. Kalau ada benda yang buat saya tak puas hati, saya akan cari gaduh secara halus, which in the end will lead to a proper cari gaduh la of course. Tak kira dengan siapa pun mesti aku buat.


However I find recently I have kinda lost the skill, or I give in a little too easily. Or the other side knows how to handle me before the crazy in me makes thing worse. Like today, I actually got a little upset because somebody went silent the whole night before. Well, actually I kinda knew why and kinda need to expect it but I got upset anyway. I hate when people who don't usually do, go silent on me. Typical me, that is.


So I tried to push the buttons. But I can't seem to find the way. Sebab dia buat dek je dengan perangai huduh aku kahkah. Lepastu umpan ajak pergi makan. Terus okay je tak jadi nak buat perangai. So I ended up giving it too soon.

Lepas balas statement bawah actually ada orang tukar nada serius-merius terus iols tak jadi buat perangai. Bahaha...lemah!  Tapi lepastu keluar kena interrogate la kenapa buat perangai dan kalau jumpa depan-depan memang jangan harap la boleh luahkan ketidakpuasan hati. Dalam message berani la kahkahkah. But he knows, I'm not happy. And dia dah google siap-siap mana nak makan sebelum satu lagi isu timbul kahkah.



My oh my. Hoping I got to meet someone who knows how to handle me like this fella. When I go crazy, don't go crazy too. Tame me, calm me down, just hug me and shut my demons down. Masih berdoa, dan terus berdoa. Moga suatu hari superman iols sampai, with a package that complements me :) Amiin.


N,
Gadis Berharap 

November 25, 2015

Observant

Eh, you tukar your braces eh. Kenapa warna lain. 
Aah, haritu I baru gi follow up. Sajaaa...tukar-tukar angin. You ingat ke warna apa sebelum ni. 
Sebelum ni macam warna lain..cam pudar sikit pink kuning camtu



Wow. Observant. My boss where I did my locum only notice I'm wearing braces after I took xray of my teeth. My boss. A dentist. And I have worked for him for around 10 months already. Lol.

November 24, 2015

Pretty messed up


Nanti I hantar agreement, kita sign biar ada black and white
Agreement apa nya..
I nak make sure kita jadi business partner 
......
I nak make sure business kita jalan. First of all memang la I nak profit. Secondly because I want to keep on seeing you


Dah macam drama melayu dah ni.

K, you really are messing up my head pretty bad.

And yet, you're so far like a distant star (I'm wishing on tonight)


Doa kuat jodoh iols on the way so that I don't go too deep in this really complex hole. Someone, superman, save me, pretty please?

November 21, 2015

That day that I finally visited all 14 states of Malaysia

Hello. I am live from kedai mamak, while waiting for my baby to be made up. About time for baby V to get a lil touch up right?


So....i finally visited all 14 states of Malaysia. Kasihan bukan? Dah tua-tua baru nak complete. Takpelah better late than never.


It all started when Fuzah kinda open up the invitation. Her husband has some sort of course in KK and she wants to tag along but she'll be bored during the day. So cut the story short I bought the ticket and flew to KK last Tuesday.


Coz it was just a relaxing-in-the-middle-of-the-week kinda trip, we didn't really plan the activities and just went with the flow. So my KK trip wasn't really a complete one since I didn't visit Kundasang and all that popular spots. Takpe. There's always a next time.


I am a very gayat person. Heights isn't really my bestfriend. But for some reason I wanted to try parasailing. And I went for it. And it was one heck of a good decision because I really enjoyed it. Oklah ade lah terjerit-jerit ketakutan but heck it I really enjoyed it kot. Went snorkelling, wasn't as interesting as Perhentian's but boleyyyy laaaaa buat geli-geli. Hmm. I miss Perhentian.


I also got to meet my dear friend Nabila. Catching up with her always give me some good feeling for some reason. Taktahu macammana mahu explain but saya happy la dapat berborak-borak. Gitchew. We met up at this super hipster cafe called Sharikat Biru-biru and the waffle we ordered was damn good saya terkenang sampai sekarang. Damn it.


However the journey was ended with a slightly bitter note. 30 minutes after takeoff on the flight back home, my stomach doesn't feel good. I thought i was hungry, but at some point I had this urge to go to toilet and off I went.
Spent a while doing number 2 in the toilet and my stomach was having one heck of a cramp. Went out the toilet sebab bersalah because I spent too long in the toilet.


After 2 steps out of the toilet, I felt really dizzy and I blacked out. Freakin black out in the plane!!!!! Drama sungguh ya rakan2. Luckily the cabin crews are nearby, they picked me up and placed me on their seat for recovery.


That flight, although lasted for only 2.5 hours became the longest flight ever as I fought thru the dizziness and stomach pain and diarrhea. Hoih stress gila okay. But really thank you to the cabin crew of flight AK5119 from KK to Klia2. You guys rocked big time. The pilot too!


Encountered another obstacle as I had to drive myself home because I parked my car in Putrajaya Sentral. Swallowed some chi kit teck aun, rested for a while and picked up myself and took the ERL to Putrajaya Sentral. Kept on telling myself I'm a wonderwoman and that I can do it. Gagahkan jugak diri dalam keadaan 5050, drove back home. Safe and alive. Sekali je ade sikit nak termasuk longkang but I managed to regain my control.


So begitulah. It was a bittersweet journey but for sure it was a very memorable one.

November 16, 2015

Dream Guy?


Every girls will have their very own version of a dream guy.


One who almost never fail to greet you every morning.
One who you can chat over a lunch for 3 hours nonstop that you went with hungry stomach and went back to almost hungry stomach.
One who made you feel so special.
One who hits every right button.
Right amount of fat and meat to hug.
Right amount of height that you feel safe being under his arms.
Chemistry that connects you both more than the covalent and ionic bonds.
Sparks that turns to firework each and everytime you both hit the high times.


But of course God works His thang in such a mysterious way. You can never always get what you want, but you will get what you need.

Thank you for giving me the chance to feel what it's like to have a dream guy, although not for long, not forever. My dream guy is a stranger, and forever a stranger he will be. We made our pitstops, now I have to let go and go on and find my very own destination.

It was a nice ride. And I am back to see the greener side of the grass after spending some time in the dark valley.

Goodbye stranger, I am going to miss you :')

God, I am trusting your plans.

November 09, 2015

Knock Out Knackered

From now on, I shouldn't really jinx my own so-called weight loss target. It has gone up a bit after few days of eating, eating and so  much eating. Most of my lunch hours were filled with rice, full plate. My appetite has gone crazy this few days. Either because of the hormone, or someone else. Hopefully so by next week I'll be back on the right track. Hormones should start to calm down, and someone else, well, someone else will just be like everyone else in my life who has disappeared. LOL.

But have to say I'm knock out knackered already. It was crazy the past few days. I had fun nonetheless.

Ergh dah tak tau nak cakap ape dah.

What comes may, be strong WonderWoman. We can totally do this alright ;)

November 02, 2015

November Rain


Oh Hello there.

Was supposed to ran the Puma Night Run last Saturday. I was so excited because it was my first night run.


However the day before I slept at around 3, woke up at 6, fell asleep again and woke up quite late for my work. Soon as I reached workplace, I worked non stop from 10.45 til 230 with the help of Bliss, and that was it. Seen at least 17 people in total I still couldn't believe I did it. Bless the Bliss, breakfast paling mudah dalam dunia. Heh.


In short, despite my enthusiast in running that night, I doubt my ability to pull it off after having very minimal sleep and fatigue from working. But I tried to get as much help as I could. Pisang, Milo, my fat burner pill which I rarely take cause it will cost me my sleep, and - most powerful one : DOA IBU kahkah. I convinced myself I'm a WonderWoman and went to Setia Alam anyway.


It started to rain cats and dogs at around 7.30, and was worsened by the lightnings and all. Kesimpulannya the only running we did that night was...running from the rain. Half of me was disappointed but half of it was relieved because of my condition that night.  We got our medal and all but I still feel it is the most medal tak bermaruah I ever gotten. Hmm.


The next day WonderWoman was finally defeated. Got out from bed only around 2pm. Literally forced myself to sleep and rest, even though I was up before 10am. Had a plan to go to the foodfest but I don't think I can do that. Hmm a bit disappointed la since I was really looking forward to it. Tapi most of the feedbacks were negative ones siap cakap depa pi makan kat amcorp la ss19 la. Still, I felt guilty to my company for pulling out from our supposed outing. WIll make it up to him one day, hehe.


Kesimpulannya semua plan pun tajadi. Haha sedih. Inilah contoh terbesar kita hanya mampu merancang, kan?


That night I felt much better and was kidnapped to Lamp Festival in none other than my top most hated place - Putrajaya. Sebab bukan saya yang drive so layan je la. Major disappointment last-last balik makan dekat Night Circle je. Haha. Tak thrill langsung baik pergi iCity je.


Other than that, nothing much. 4 more kgs away from my supposed 1st target so that I can reward myself with so-called more than rm400 handbag. Kira handbag paling mahal la saya ada sekarang ni paling mahal pun 300 lebih.  Nak tunggu orang kasi hadiah mmg tak dapekla. The next 10kgs after the first one if I ever made it, I will throw a kenduri kesyukuran terus kahkah macam tak de confidence je kan nak buat. Metabolism slows down with age what can we do aight?